Wednesday, November 5, 2008

This Commercial Sums Up My Religious Beliefs.

After the first few viewings of this commercial, I had so many questions. What are five questionable looking men doing in the back of a family's RV? Where is the RV going? Why does the man driving decide to strand four of the men in the middle of the desert? What kinda shit is Chad going to try now that he is in the back of the RV alone with that girl?

Then I realized some questions don't have answers; in fact some questions are simply not important. All along, I was asking myself the wrong questions about this Alltel commercial. A commercial does not have to make logical sense for you to believe that it is true; all it needs is one magic ingredient: faith.

Once I accepted into my heart that Chad was destined to be in the back of the RV with the family's pubescent daughter, that the other four men's purpose was to be stranded in the middle of the desert, it was like a huge burden had been lifted off my shoulders. Now I find comfort and safety in the fact that My Circle's unlimited plan is in control, that Chad, It's charismatic messiah and a hair-gel fanatic, will guide me through my struggles and triumphs, and that It's network, even though it is invisible to my eyes, will surround me at all times with the coverage I need.

Now, when I stumble, I have faith that the My Circle and Chad will offer me some kind words about Their unlimited plan, while pushing away the demons and their unsharable unlimited plans. Chad, I love you will all my heart because you died for my sins.


  1. I've always found Chad to be a fucking asshole. He's so smug and always whoring his wireless plan. If Chad were in the Congo, he would have long ago been eaten by a monkey. On top of all this, Chad has no real friends, just business acquaintances. I mostly identify with the other for "losers," especially the one that looks like Ren from Ren and Stimpy. At least those guys have each other unlike this asexual idiot man-child. Can you hear me now? No Thank You Chad.

  2. My circle isn't just about a great phone service by Alltel, the fact that they decided to call it my circle bespeaks it's hefty religious message. Across vast stretches of time and culture, the circle has represented wholeness, well being, and a mystical connection with the divine (see the ancient depictions of Ouroboros that represents both rejuvenation/renewal and secret, i.e. divine, knowledge). It is no accident that Alltel decided to call their revolutionary plan "my circle." It offers those of us stranded in the desert of modern technology a way out, a way to have a holistic life where spirituality, emotion, and a great way to talk to your friends can come together.

    If you have ears, hear: the four men in the desert are us, those of us lost and confused without "my circle." The girl in the back of the van is the ideal person, the one who has accepted Chad's message and now gets to be with him...forever. The RV goes in a circle, it does not die and never runs out of gas.

  3. Dude I think chad represents the archetypical character often espoused by Twain, the gentleman trickster and the four stranded out in the desert are those who choose the morally right decision and called chad out for being a dick. The girl represent the vulernable youth falling sway to the guile of the shameless chad and becomes the victim and grows up following his example to become a whorish dupe herself much like Chad. The RV represents the condition of the working man.