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Showing posts from 2015

RIP Minestroni

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Real Talk

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So, these days, because of this new internet thing, we all now have the power to make people say anything we want them to. For example:


So, I know Tommy has been doing a lot of bragging lately about how you need to get gold instead of experience from chests in heroes 3, how he got second place in the 1993 double dutch Cuban jump roping semifinals, and that he is the healthiest presidential candidate ever. Here is a real quote that Tommy actually said that should help clarify the situation:





An Exemplar Example of a Best Man's Wedding Toast

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William, as the best man at my upcoming wedding, I thought you might be looking for an example of the kind of wedding toast I am looking for. This clip illustrates a wedding toast where everything is done perfectly, even a temperature of one's own choosing:

https://youtu.be/9tO2zVCvN10?t=22m9s

Meowy Christmas

Christmas Plans

Right now our Christmas plans involve visiting my parents from the 19th to the 2nd or 3rd. Unfortunately, since we're planning on traveling with a kitty we can't really swing by chez Waalkes. However, as you may or may not know, we just got a car recently and I was planning on trying to come down for a visit for a long weekend some time in January. It will mainly depend on Veronica's work schedule. Certainly, if possible I think it would be nice to meet Liz before the wedding, but we'll have to see how the schedules work out. If Tommy is going back on the 8th, we may not be able to catch him before he's gone. If you have any weekends that won't work, let us know.

In other Christmas news, if you all aren't tired of them as gifts, Veronica and I will make you more ancient commanders. I can bring them with me when I come to visit in January. So, I'm officially taking requests on language/material and commanders. I've been learning Sumerian this semes…

Orange Juice

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60 Minutes Fan Fiction: Part 2

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"End of the line!"

The shout of the bus driver startled Andy out of his sleep. He was dreaming of his last newscast and about whether he had thoroughly explained his confusion with why Lady Ga-Gah's poodle didn't have to abstain from meat on Passover. The sun had fallen on this horribly aggravating day. Andy got off and sat on the bus stop bench. He then promptly fell asleep.

The next morning, Andy awoke to bus brakes squeaking. "If I had my 'druthers the New York Public Transit System would fix the wheels on every bus in the city and have them ship Florida oranges up North from Orlando. Then cold and flu season would be a thing of the past." Thought Andy as he boarded the bus.

Determined to stay awake, Andy remained in a standing position behind the driver. "You know you shouldn't have taken a left on 5th Street back there."

"I don't design the routes. The city does. If you have a complaint, write your local representative."…

You Suck At Cooking

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Revenge of the Losers EDH Deck

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Inspired by Justin's recent foray into shitty Legends commanders, I have decide to build a Torsten Von Ursus EDH Deck.



So, since this guy is probably one of the worst commanders of all time in terms of power level, I was at first not sure what to do. Then I started thinking about what I love about this art. This guy is carrying a comedically large shield, wearing a checkerboard-kilt, has crazy giant wings on his helmet, gardening knee pads, and a child molester mustache. What the hell is going on with this guy? He looks like a toddler that dressed himself for the first time. How does he not get laughed off the battlefield by all the angry, mean goblins? Well, all of brought me to the simple fact that I should build a loser-themed EDH deck. So the context of this deck is that it should feature only art that has people or creatures that were made fun of when they went to (Tolarian) High School. They might be awkwardly dressed, creepy, nonathletic, nerdy, way too obsessed with one hob…

Whenever A Creature Dies You May Have More Spells

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Goodnight, Sweet Prince

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In some alternate universe, you are our Cal Ripken, Jr., our rock of Gibraltar, our Royal Indian Restaurant . . .

8 Year Olds, Dude

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As all of America now know, this clip from the movie Supersize Me is now super creepy!! I mean he is totally checking out that little girl the entire time and clearly not even listening. Also, Jared maybe you should take your own advice that "the world's not going to change, you have to change," since you are a pedophile and need to change.

Anyway, I believe it is now our imperative to change young Tommy's now classic Subway Jared magic card design to keep up with the current times. So, the person who comes up with the best submission wins a bucket of fried chicken. Here is my submission:

Subway Jared, Pedophile - RR

Summon Pantless Man-child

Art - Subway Jared, Pedophile eats a Subway sandwich on a park bench while starring at schoolchildren playing.

Tap: Look at target opponent's hand and force them to discard any cards depicting children in their art. They go to the graveyard and, hopefully, to counseling paid for with all that dirty dirty Subway money.

If Mo…

This is Your Wake Up Call, Young Man!

Powliwhirl Tastes Like Blueberry Skittles

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http://www.avclub.com/article/mon-measure-all-things-unraveling-pokemons-utopian-223059

This funny and interesting article got me thinking about the Pokemon economy and its moral system which this author describes as a utopia. It does sound like a nice place to be where there is so little crime and where you are able to go out on adventures and capture animals and fight them and achieve recognition and fame and defeat the bad guys. It is essentially every 10 year old boys dream, other than maybe throwing a football 100 yards over those mountains. However, it seems like more of dystopia for the Pokemon that inhabit the world, who are forced into slave labor, get eaten, must live in cramped little balls only to be let out to fight other Pokemon, and used completely for the purposes of humans without their own needs being taken into account (When do they go to the bathroom?). People in the world of Pokemon seem to have no remorse for how they treat the Pokemon too, but instead have their…
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Obama Comics the Return Deltron 3030



Lessons from Family Feud

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So, we have been playing a lot of family feud recently. It all started on our smartphones with the family feud two app. This got me thinking about how simply beautiful of a game that family feud really is in the way that it . So many game shows are about testing your knowledge of trivia or book-learning, but this game really seems to be testing a totally different part of our intelligence. Being good at this game does not seem to have much to do with your intelligence in the sense of remembering facts or solving problems as much as other games, although that might help some. Instead it seems to have more to do with creative thinking and with understanding social norms. To do well, you have to be able to identify what do most people in the US think like and how is that different from the way I think and what might they think of that I usually wouldn't, For example, with some of my answers, I often find myself thinking in terms that are too clever involving wordplay or too specific…

Official Blog Meeting

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Dear As I Run,

We need to have a talk about our house magic rules for this year at the beach and maybe just in general.

1. In the interest of keeping things balanced, we've decided on proxies being allowed in any format we play but we need to determine how many per deck and which ones aren't allowed. Any thoughts? I say no Power 9, natch. Justin was saying we should follow the Legacy banned list for 60 card casual, which sounds good to me. What numbers should we allow? I say like 1/4th. Or we could proxy up any legal land for our manabases in addition to the decided number. I say we also continue to follow the commander banned list too.

2. I feel we also should talk about the unlimited mulligan rules. How do you guys feel about this? I say maybe we should consider changing it. Like maybe 1 free mulligan in casual games and then start to follow the one less card per hand rule. Then 1 Paris Mulligan for EDH and that's it. I know on more than one occasion, I've found mys…

Air Jordans Review

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So, I know it might be blasphemy on this blog to post anything about a lacrosse player other than Shaq, but I wanted to let you all know about this hot new take on the most recent Air Jordans. Now if you are a dumpster diving, binge drinking fanatic worth your weight in geldings like me, you already know what the Air Jordans look like when you simulate wearing them on your feat even despite the horrible things Kobe says about you behind your back. However, this fine young cannibal's review/unboxing video/sure sign of the upcoming catpocyclapse put this perspective in a whole new flavor of darkness. I will never be able to eat my Cal Ripken Wheaties the same way. Foooootball!

Wanna Sand Slash My Diglet?

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Minecraft Story

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Just wanted to share this cool thing I did in Minecraft. I was in this cave and I found a chest with a saddle in it. As you know, saddles can't be crafted and are somewhat hard to find so I was excited to find and ride a horse. By this point I was pretty decked out with Diamond tools and steel armor so I figured I'd leave my island and go find horses to domesticate and ride with the saddle. So one morning, I got in a boat and left my island in search of someplace that would have horses. It took me about 5 or 6 game days of walking and camping for the night until I finally found a grassland with a small herd of horses. I started a new homestead with a fenced pasture and small house in preparation for my horse ranch. Everything was set up so when it finally came time to start taming and riding my horses I checked my inventory and chests. I forgot to bring the saddle.
Now I suppose I could follow my compass all the way back to my original Island but I'm even not sure if it w…

New Art! (Updated {Again})

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Dear As I Run,  Just wanted to show off some new adventure game backgrounds I've been working on in my spare time.  It took me like 3 hours to finish the shading on the Easter Island head's upper lip.

Updated some more!

Choices=Freedom=America=A Quiet Revolution=The As I Run and Run Way

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So I know you have been going about living your humdrum lives today just wishing someone would come along and show you a video with random sailors, a variety of salads, a grizzled boat captain with some children, watermelon with speed in it, and a little girl who experiences a wide range of emotions while playing baseball. Here is what you have been looking for.



But wait! This could be our own quiet revolution for this very blog! So I'm thinking this might be a whole new opportunity for new branding for our website and offering lots of exciting choices of platters. I know that all of our loyal readers out there want choices and quality in the personal lives and business lives and we provide all of that with a new kind of courteous, friendly font and images. That is why I am suggesting that we re-brand ourselves: As I Run and Run - A blog within a blog - the choice for America!!!

The choice is yours to make on the internet and you love choices and I know you will make the right one…

Walmart Antics

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http://www.vice.com/read/i-tried-to-spend-24-hours-in-24-hour-walmart-242?utm_source=vicefbus

Here's an awesome article Tommy showed me about Walmart.  Below are some excerpts:

6:20 AM I notice a bottle of tartar sauce on top of the belts in menswear. I think to myself that this is weird because the store only just opened. The tartar sauce must have been there all night.

2:36 PM I see an unsupervised child who seems to be attempting to open a register. I watch and silently hope that he succeeds. But unfortunately, someone moves him along.

3:59 PM I come to the conclusion that, despite almost overwhelming boredom and an increasingly miserable hangover, I am not able to nap in full view of everyone in a Walmart. I start walking again.

7:30 PM I notice that the store sells sympathy cards in packs of 12. Who experiences death regularly enough that they have to buy their sympathy cards in bulk?

7:38 PM I realize that everyone experiences death that regularly once they hit a certain age.…

Farts in The Pantry

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How Many Big Macs are in the Trunk of My Car?

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Dear Baby Jesus,

This is all I want for Christmas for the rest of my life: http://www.avclub.com/article/express-your-mcdonalds-individuality-putting-big-m-217140?utm_medium=RSS&utm_campaign=feeds.
That and if you could get the Indian restaurant to start making Big Mac Curry. I then can die a happy man. World peace is a distant third.

Your Lab Partner,
Phil

Snapple Facts

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Oathsworn Giant

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For Tommy's card we did something a little different. I translated his card into Hebrew. Many Hebrew inscriptions were written on pot sherds, broken pieces of pottery that made for a useful writing material. To this end, I bought a planting pot and smashed it to create some pot sherds. Unfortunately, it is not easy to get pottery to break in exactly the same size and shape as a magic card. Since I didn't want to have to buy lots of pots just to get lucky, the piece I ended up using was larger than a magic card. To mimic an ancient Hebrew art style, I choose to take inspiration from drawings found at Kuntillet Ajrud dating from 9th-7th centuries BCE. It is a bit simple in style compared to the art of Mesopotamia and Egypt, although I think it has a certain amount of charm. I thought I'd provide some examples, so you could see what I was using as inspiration. I think my brush skills are still in need of work. At Tommy's request, I added a castle in the background, which …

The Mimeoplasm

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Here is the nearly finished Mimeoplasm (we still need to erase some of the penciled guidelines and cut it out). Although I had some worries about my ability to translate the text, I found some of my old notes for some of the other Egyptian cards I had done and was able to translate the text of the Mimeoplasm into Middle Egyptian. Funny story, I could not find an equivalent for the "ooze" creature type, so I used "mud" instead. The card art depicts Ammut, the monster goddess, who is part lion, part hippo, and part crocodile, and who devoured the hearts of the dead during afterlife judgment, if they were evil. The text behind the goddess is the beginning of Spell 125 of the Egyptian Book of the Dead. Veronica did most of the art and text transcription. I translated and found appropriate artistic parallels. Hope you like it!

Road Rage Tips

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Just like diarrhea, we are all prone to a little road rage occasional fits of road rage. Here is a great instructional video with some pro tips about turning your road rage into something constructive.

Jaded Baby

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Karametra

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So here is Karametra done in a cursive OB style based on cylinder seal art. Hope you like it. Expect Phil's next weekend, and Tommy's the weekend after that. Once we have them all done, we'll send them to your parents' house and you can pick them up when next you arrive there. As usual, I am responsible for translation, the cuneiform text, and finding artistic parallels. Veronica is responsible for rendering the art on clay. Let us know what you think.

Jaded Baby

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Jaded Baby

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Jaded Baby

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