Friday, October 2, 2015

Revenge of the Losers EDH Deck

Inspired by Justin's recent foray into shitty Legends commanders, I have decide to build a Torsten Von Ursus EDH Deck.

Torsten Von Ursus

So, since this guy is probably one of the worst commanders of all time in terms of power level, I was at first not sure what to do. Then I started thinking about what I love about this art. This guy is carrying a comedically large shield, wearing a checkerboard-kilt, has crazy giant wings on his helmet, gardening knee pads, and a child molester mustache. What the hell is going on with this guy? He looks like a toddler that dressed himself for the first time. How does he not get laughed off the battlefield by all the angry, mean goblins? Well, all of brought me to the simple fact that I should build a loser-themed EDH deck. So the context of this deck is that it should feature only art that has people or creatures that were made fun of when they went to (Tolarian) High School. They might be awkwardly dressed, creepy, nonathletic, nerdy, way too obsessed with one hobby, off their meds, mocked for being gay, way too much of a spaz to have any friends, or so in to playing their musical instrument that they practice on Friday nights, whatever, as long as they have reason that the preps and the jocks would mock them.

One of the beautiful things about making this deck so far is that I am coming up with an elaborate and often humorous backstory for many of the people/creatures in the art about what their time in high school was like. For example Vigilant Sentry took his job as hall monitor way too seriously and always sucked up to the assistant principal. Lord Magnus spent way too much time walking alone in the woods and smoking pot until one day he got lost and never returned home. Thelonite Druid took his senior pictures in full medieval gear while pretending he could talk to trees.

I have started looking for a number of good cards for this deck and it seems like older sets are a gold mine, since a lot of the art was goofier or worse back then and way fewer of the creatures just look like badasses. The cards I have so far are below, but I need your help. I am having trouble finding a lot more to fill out the rest of the deck and could use any ideas or suggestions you guys have. All the cards don't necessarily have to be creatures, but they should feature some kind of loser character in the art somehow (like Archery Training where the guy clearly took archery as his elective so he could avoid all the jocks pulling down his shorts in weight training). Hit me up with any suggestions you have. Also, I am considering making a jocks deck next, but I'm not sure what commander that deck should have, so let me know if you have any suggestions for that.

Here is a deckbox link to see the pictures (although some would be from an older set than what is pictured):

Here is the decklist so far:
Torsten Von Ursus
Beloved Chaplain
Archery Training
Martyr's Cause
Ardent Militia
Juniper Order Druid
Thelonite Druid
Titania's Chosen
Volunteer Reserves
Deranged Outcast
Shieldmage Advocate
Border Patrol
Revered Elder
Tonic Peddler
Devoted Hero
Deepwood Drummer
Nightshade Peddler
Vigilant Sentry
Charm Peddler
Crossbow Infantry
Devout Harpist
Tragic Poet
Abbey Matron
Daughter of Autumn
Samnite Alchemist
Serra Inquisitors
Lord Magnus
Ivory Guardians
Scavenger Folk