Monday, August 15, 2016

South Dakota Magazine Controversy

So here is just a little taste of one of the hot controversies of South Dakota: how much of an asshole are rattlesnakes? The article from the boastful cover retrospective of the 150th issue of South Dakota Magazine (April/May 2010 - which I found under a chair while waiting at the DMV) seems to have cause quite a stir in my new home state. Now granted rattlesnakes are total assholes as I know from my time living in the amazon rain forest during my study abroad to study the mating habits of the wild purple radish. However, it seems like we might have bigger things to get worked up about than rattlesnake covers (like giant marshmallow men attacking us or global microwaving). 

My favorite part, however, is how the magazine editors fixed this controversy with the cover of their next issue "featuring a painting of the charming Katee Telgren modeling Astoria farmer Trygve Trooien's collection of farm overalls" as if a picture of a woman wearing farm overall could solve all of the world's problems. Maybe we could just send this cover to Israel and Palestine and they would stop fighting because who can resist farm overalls?! Why did I ever move to this state? /Andy Rooney rant over

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Point Counter-Point: Is Cory in the an Anime that should cause you to revise your religion?

I report you decide. Also I'm ssj4 now. Power level of at least 90.

De Ketchupido -a dissertation on ketchup by a crazy rando from Facebook.

In my defense, I'm not often using it on gourmet dishes, but to drown out the notes of turd in cheaper foods that I have to purchase, because Im an American and my corporate overlords would sooner see me dead than fed on organic, non GMO foods. Secondly, there are a wide variety of ketchups the author doesn't take into consideration that do not have GMOs or high fructose corn syrup, which I highly doubt our dainty author avoids in their entirety, rather pointing their crooked trembling finger at these elements to illustrate their point of view on the topic of ketchups. In regard to sodium, I'd day say the very same, and for myself, I require high sodium. People with EDS tend to have POTS, which causes dizziness and fainting. If I drive up my blood pressure a bit (it's usually 90/60--it peaks at 110/70), then it helps me stabilize my equilibrium. The reliance upon personal experience to demonize ketchup furthermore illustrates that the author relies heavily upon logical fallacy. I'm sorry you had trouble working as a dishwasher in a school cafeteria. I....don't really think you're going to have the most charming time with any foods there, but I, personally, have only cleaned up after lunch sessions. As a person with sensitivities to smell, it turned me off of all foods until I was able to toke up a bit or give myself enough time and space to recoup. Their reference to Louis' Lunch and the Hotdog Council, also, don't take into consideration that we're talking about the use of the condiment on finer foods rather than the horseshit I'm buying with my food stamps. Do you think I ENJOY the taste of powdered cheese mix in my pasta product? No. But if I can zazz it up with a bit of cheap sauce, I'm going to do what it takes to get my picky ass to stay alive. I'll summarize by saying that their reference to a pulitzer prize winner is also fallacious. Pythagoras lent very much to the betterment of society, but the man shit slinging mad in regard to his perception of 'beans'.

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Jesus Quick-Saves

Dear Spammers,

Chut up! Thanks,


PS: If I can get 10 Spams on this post, I'll personally mail a gallon of milk to all of our readers.