Saturday, November 8, 2008

Big Macs

I enjoy Big Macs. The world runs on the hard work of billions of Mcdonald's employees without whom NO BIG MACS would be possible!!! I am a big Big Mac FAN. I enjoy eating them and I like everything about them. They are tasty and delicious. The special sauce is indeed special. I once ate three Big Macs in one sitting. After I eat a Big Mac I always check to see if there's any left over sauce, lettuce or cheese in the little multiracial box. And for all the haters out there: I understand that you say Big Macs are unhealthy. To you I say I DONT GIVE A FUCK. Whenever a construction worker eats a Big Mac, he or she then spends about half an hour on the toilet. When I eat a Big Mac, I spend ZERO HOURS on the toilet. It all goes directly to my blood stream and energizes me with it's tasty goodness. When I think about Big Macs, I think HOLY SHIT THAT WAS GOOD, who's putting all the crack in the Big Macs? Where ever you go there you are and there's probably a Mcdonald's serving up some fresh baked Big Macs. I heard Miss Universe 2008 once ate a Big Mac and digested it in a series of moments. OH MAN!!! Big Macs are good for the soul!!! Where all the ladies at? At Mcy D's scarfin down some Big Macs, dumb ass. If it wasn't for Big Macs WWIII would have already happened. I don't know with what weapons WWIII will be fought but WWWIV will be fought with sticks and stones. This crisis can be averted if you give the soldiers BIG MACS. They will be happy and all will be quiet on the Western Front. Sadly, I haven't had a Big Mac since before Obama was elected. Hopefully, BO won't up the price by 50 cents. I understand that all of you haters think the president doesn't like Big Macs. Remember Bill Clinton? Hey yo. (I am from the future.)


  1. Dear PRESIDENT Barrack Obama,

    Hello and congratulations on making it on the news so much. I made it on the news once because I was playing wiffle ball at the park and talking about why birds were dying. I was in the right place at the right time. You make it on the news so much, you must always know what the right place is. Do you have psychic powers?

    Anyway, I am writing you through this blog (I have heard rumors that AIRARHC is BO's FAVORITE blog!!!!) to let you know of a very serious issue facing our nation. It's called WWIV. Please remember Bill Clinton and give Big Macs to all our troops overseas. The health benefits and the deliciousness benefits will help our brave men and women fight terrorists who hate big macs and would prefer to eat leafy greens like an UN-AMERICAN BRONTOSAURUS. With your help BO, we can end all wars, hunger and AIDS with Big Macs.

    Your Friend,
    Mister Pig Pig

    P.S. Also please fix the ECONOMY.

  2. Why does BO smell so bad? Did you know Big Macs make an excellent deodorant? You can even eat them when you're done (Can you do that, Old Spice??)...although I'm not sure I would. You never know where those armpits have been. I'm hungry now. I need to find a Big Mac.

  3. Sometimes when I eat fast food hamburgers, my BO smells worse than usual the next day. Anybody else?