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Showing posts from June, 2012

60 Minutes Fan Fiction

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“In conclusion this is why the scarcity of nation-wide church parking makes it hard for me to understand how to use today’s new microwaves” said 60 Minutes commentator Andy Rooney. “Thank you and have a good night. Andy Rooney satisfied with another adequate 60 Minutes commentary got up and left his office to go to the break room for his post-show yogurt. “It’s not easy complaining on national TV every week but someone needs to explain how they don’t make shower nozzles like they used to” thought Andy.  “Jerry Seinfeld hit the nail on the head when he said that today’s showers lack the water pressure that older ones had.” When Andy rounded the corner and entered the break room to his surprise there was no one there.  The break room, usually full of distinguished journalists, was only inhabited by an Edible Arrangements fruit bouquet with a note.  Andy opened the note.  The note read:             “Mr. Rooney, I have collected the 60 Minutes news team in my underground bunker.  They are wa…

BULBASAUR!

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PHIL WAALKES!

THERE ARE ONLY 3 LIGHTBULBS LEFT LIT IN THE ATTIC!!!  ME AND TOMMY HAVE EACH BET ON 1 LIGHTBULB.  IF NEITHER OF THESE LIGHTBULBS GO OUT AND THE 3RD ONE DOES, YOU MUST CHANGE ALL 6 LIGHTBULBS!!! YOU'RE WELCOME AND THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!

Young Adam

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My bad Experience at Food Lion

"Decided to be productive and go grocery shopping. The cashier took my coupons and one wouldn't ring up. His response? "This one doesn't work, here you go..." Well, why didn't it work? He didn't want to call the manager over, even though I had the right items and it had not expired. His reasoning was that it must only be select varieties. If it was only select varieties, why would the stupid coupon say "ALL varieties" in bold letters! Needless to say, the manager came over and rang it through! I wasn't leaving without my $1 off!!!"This woman taught me in high school....

Snarf Snarf!

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