Friday, March 23, 2012

How I spent my summer vacation, By Joey Waalkes

Joey Waalkes
English Fifth Period
March 23, 1992

How I spent my summer vacation

There are many different reasons that I hate electric leaf blowers. It is very stupid and it isn't easy to use. It makes me very angry when I use it to clean my driveway at my house.
The first reason I hate electric leaf blowers is that they have cords. The cord always unplugs when I try to walk at least five feet away. I sometimes trip on the cord and fall down which makes everyone laugh at me when they see me on the ground crying. Also the cord makes it so you can't blow the leaves because the leaves get stuck under the cord. The cord also always gets twisted up and you can't walk very far so you have to go back and untwist it before it unplugs. If my parents would buy the gasoline powered leaf blower I would use that but my parents are dumb.
Another reason I hate the electric leaf blower is that it makes my dogs bark at me. The electric leaf blower is noisy and when my dogs hear it they bark like there's a cat in the dog house. I wish my dogs would shut up when they hear the electric leaf blower but they can't because they are stupid animals.
The last reason I hate the electric leaf blower is electrocution. It's very dangerous. If you don't pay attention when you use it you will get shocked and blow up. When I use the electric leaf blower I always try hard not to step in water puddles but sometimes I forget and then I must throw the electric leaf blower across the driveway before I explode. This is why electric leaf blowers are idiots.
These are the reasons I hate electric leaf blowers. They have cords, make my dogs bark, and can kill you. If my parents didn't throw away the gas leaf blower I would be able to not be angry whenever I use the electric leaf blower but my parents are stupid and will only let me watch the Christian channel on TV and sometimes the Weather Channel on Friday nights.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

This Post Was Filmed In Front of a Live Studio Ostrich

Hah Haah! Apparently, the blog doesn't like how we're putting images in the posts. This is strange since we have been doing things the same ever since we started it but this year it just up and crapped out.

So from now on, (Gosh, I feel like a high school computer lab monitor.) So from now on, if you make a post with an image and it removes the previous posts from the page do this:

1. Go back and edit your post.
2. Save the image to your compy.
3. Upload the image to the post using the "Add Image " button.
4. Don't panic, eat some Spanish Flan.
5. Remove the original image from the post.

Greeting from 3:00am

I can't sleep because this is sadly very true for me right now:

Monday, March 12, 2012

Fah Q Photobucket!

Since this blog has been born-again, I figured I make a game about satanic fish that eat Mexican food.

Hint: I was too lazy to do the dialog correctly so just don't click whenever a character is speaking.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Hello Christ Kitty!

It's cross between the big Lebowski and Jesus!
It's Hello Kitty Jesus, here to adorable die for your sins!
And to sell you the wonder chicken dinner Hello Kitty playset (TM)!
Hello Christ Kitty (or HECK for short) will kill you.....

....With adorable kindness!
Accept no cheap tax-attorney web comic imitations,
this is the real deal! So don't delay, act today!
If you buy the HECK play set you also unlock 3000 friendship points
If you buy HECK in the next 15 minutes we'll even throw
a free copy of the upcoming expansion to HKIA, Tuna Tiff: the Kitty Conundrum!
What are you waiting for! Stop doing acid and order HECK today!
Or else you might wind up in Hell, you pagan fuckers!
SOrry guys, sometimes the Hello Kitty enters my brain and tells me to tell you to remind me about how I need to tell you guys that you need to thank HECK for all you have.
And remember, come rapture is going to be filled to the brim with pussy....

(God, I need to stop slacking and get onto to doing the next part of retrospective.)

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Rough Rider For Jesus

I'm hur to instruct you fools, so that you don't any inappropriate shit, such as being attracted to the opposite sex:Link

Leave room in you pants for Jesus!