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Showing posts from 2017

Kids These Days

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This Is Not Enough Jello. Please Mail Me More.

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This is not enough Jello. Please mail me more. Preferably expired like some of the ones pictured but I'll take fresh too. I will not be eating them. Thank you!

PS: Notice the old packaging on the Melon Fusion Jello. That's vintage. Expired in 2010 and Jello lasts a long fuckin time.

Pancakes!

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How To Live With A Man Baby: WTF is Going on With My Roommate?

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As you know, I've lived with an immature space alien for a year and a half now. This is a character study of a Waalkes gone awry.
1. Lets begin with the digital clocks and silverware in the apartment. We have 3 clocks on kitchen appliances. They are always set to the correct time. If they power goes out, if one gets unplugged, or if Daylight Savings time happens. They are corrected to the right time. The same goes for our silverware. When I unload the dish washer, I don't bother organizing them. Whenever he sees them in this state he immediately corrects them. And yet we always have grease and goo covering all the important surfaces, dishes constantly piled in the sink, and a nausea inducing aroma that scares people. Cleanliness is not a priority but obsessing over minutia is.
2. We have peeping Toms and robbers in the neighborhood. Hey! Maybe lets leave all the blinds open at all times and the door unlocked at night. We've got thousands of dollars in electronics there. O…

Alex Jones

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Inspirational Poster Bot

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In case you guys haven't already seen it, check this out:

Some good ones I've gotten:

The Weiner That Started It All

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This is the name of my new erotic fan fiction book about Adam. Also, the hot dog car is back, bitches!!!!!!#~!

No Rubbing, No Bumping

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAojxWZRVKk

Also, this is the title of my new Christian abstinence-promoting rock album. The first single will be "Jesus is Watching You Dry Hump."

Joint

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Mayank Never Gave a Speech Like This Because He got one A-.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/education/wp/2017/06/20/a-valedictorian-went-rogue-in-his-final-speech-his-school-tried-to-shut-him-down/

This might be the most epic class president speech since Tommy's famous vending machine speech of '98. It also makes me think something like this could be a really funny Tommy and friends episode where Tommy wins his class election by giving everyone scratch and sniff stickers. Then the principal cuts his mic when he gives a speech promising vending machines. Then Tommy sneaks into the principal's office with hippo to leave a little surprise.

Mission Accomplished!!!

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Blog Petition III

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Its spring and babies are in the air!


Hi all,

I would like you all to sign this petition requesting that Justin and Veronica Tommyeat a stick of deodorantupdate the blog with a better layout and cooler graphics name their baby Joseph/Josephine. Other than Pyknite, Joey is clearly the best possible name for a baby. Its worked pretty well for me and I, like all people, am a gigantic baby. I'd even be willing to go by Joe or Sunny to avoid confusion. Below I have listed several more reasons why this is a good idea:

1. Baby kangaroos are Joeys.
2. Joey was on Friends. Chicks will use that to flirt all the time when he or she grows up.
3. In future times, the name Joey will be slang for space pirate.
4. I can play the bass fast and loose like some sort of Greek God. Its not genetics or talent. Its the name.
5.I invented fire, the wheel, and cheese pudding.
6. Back in the stone age, Joey was synonymous with "Oh shit! Here comes a Cheetah!"
7. If your baby is indeed The Chosen…

YES!

http://www.fiona-rae.com/paintings/2007-11/as-i-run-and-run-happiness-comes-closer/

More Over Zach Baggins . . .

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Finn C. has just one upped you at the ghost hunting game. Now if he could only work on his ghost taunting, he should have his own TV show.

Doran, the Siege Tower

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Veronica and I finished Tommy's late Christmas gift this past weekend. We did Doran as a Neo-Assyrian siege engine and so I translated it into Akkadian in Neo-Assyrian script/ductus. If I do say so myself, I think she did a great job with the art. We'll bring it with us next time we come to visit. Hope you like it!

For inspiration, we mostly copied from Ashurnasirpal II's palace reliefs of siege engines at work. See below:

Back by Popular Demand

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The bots who sometimes post comments on our blog and are trying to become self aware have demanded another Alex Jones video so they can better understand what it means to be human. Maybe they will have mercy on me during the robot apocalypse now that I have posted this . . .

Cactus Care Emergency

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Tonight the kitties bit the top off of my cactus and peed in it. I am trying to save it's life, but I don't know what to do. With the annual cactus care conference in Montreal months away, I am in desperate need of advice from a cacti enthusiast.

The Devil is in the Pudding

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Since I know that you all needed more grown men giggling like Meth-addicted school girls who have a crush on the forgotten, wolf-raised Jonas brother, I present you with . . .

It's Time For Ice Cream

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Pioneers Coming

According to this, I may not be human? Unsure. new twitter bio: pic.twitter.com/715B5I76qz— ▀▀▀▀▀▀ (@immolations) July 4, 2016

Multiplayer Cube

So, I have been reading a lot about cube recently because I want to update the multiplayer cube. There aren't a lot of resources about multiplayer cubes on the internet, but I am going to apply a lot of lessons from articles about regular cubes and from observations of what makes a good draft format based on sets that Wizards points out. One of the biggest changes that I think will make it more fun and strategic to play is to change the variability in power level so that it isn't just all the best cards in multiplayer magic. This would lead to more flexibility in what cards could be good enough to be played in the cube allowing for more interesting cards and more synergies.

Additionally, I am looking to move more towards making the cube have flexible themes that you can build your deck around. Like in regular draft sets, I want these to have some overlap so some cards are good in multiple themes or good enough on their own, so there won't be many cards that only fit in one…