Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Modern Deconstructionalist Murder Mystery

Here's a story I "wrote" for my German class. By "wrote" I mean I took a text in German and put it into a terrible German-to-English translation site and then posted the results. I cracked up when I read it, but that may just be due to lack of sleep. Here you go:

The motorcycle route

Hello, colleague, how was in holidays? upper inspector Eichhorn welcomes Julia Falk with a friendly handshake. hopefully it is you not exactly the same been issued like the family Andres at the flower way. as of their journey returned, found it a thoroughly robbed house. upper inspector Eichhorn reaches for a bundle documents. well, if you could further pursue equal case…? We already heard most adjacents resident at the flower way. To ask there still another pair of pensioners, family guard in the house number 7, would be and their young subtenant Heinz Hurtig. Julia Falk presses for the first time the button over the plaque Heinz Hurtig. Strangely that it does not open. It saw nevertheless straight evenly still another young man at the window above standing. Julia vibrated surprises the head. It turns and lets its view over the abandoned yard and the sparkle-brand-new motorcycle under the garage cantilever roof slab curve.

To a few minutes later Julia still another mark rings. A noise is to be heard from inside to. Well finally, that lasted however for a long time! Heinz Hurtig looks by the door gap. good day, Mr. Hurtig. Julia Falk zückt their document of identification. I may clean-come one moment? I determine Andres because of the break-down at family. Only in the corridor Julia notices that Hurtigs arm lies thickly merge-acted in an arm loop. you had an accident? Heinz Hurtig nods. I took last week with my motorcycle a curve too fast. But I had still luck, I only the arm broke. Hurtigs kitchen Heinz Hurtig leads the Inspektorin into the kitchen. On the Küchentisch a plate with bacon and scrambled egg stands, beside it a cup with steaming hot coffee. I may offer also a cup coffee to you? no? No coffee? Now, which concerns the break-down, I came only the day before yesterday from my motorcycle route home, nothing saw and heard. And, sorry, if I need an alibi with my injured arm I no house to really rob had been able, not? life it alone here?, the Inspektorin asks. no, with Schnurrli, my tomcat. Heinz Hurtig grinst and points with the chin to the window windshield frame section, where a magnificent red cat stretches wohlig in the sun. I'm sorry, Mr. Hurtig, my Julia Falk essentially. you accompany me now on the presidency. With its alibi is not correct somewhat at all.

The end. I win.


  1. Schnurrli, my tomcat. This very written esay. When be published? Tomorow another fine. Under umbrella walks. Happy Times! Coffee makes pee. From Future.

  2. Hello again, colleague. In holidays was fabulous this year. The friendly handshake I received from Julia Falk was only topped by the Sexual Transmitted Infection I received from the Christmas Tree. Once again, I suspect the tree of sleeping with the refrigerator. I just hope that six months from now I will not have tiny coolers full of pine needles running around again this year. Well, Julia Falk and I are off to accompany each other on the presidency. I so hope to shake her hand again.
    Your Friend,
    Grape Ape