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Showing posts from July, 2017

Kids These Days

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This Is Not Enough Jello. Please Mail Me More.

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This is not enough Jello. Please mail me more. Preferably expired like some of the ones pictured but I'll take fresh too. I will not be eating them. Thank you!

PS: Notice the old packaging on the Melon Fusion Jello. That's vintage. Expired in 2010 and Jello lasts a long fuckin time.

Pancakes!

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How To Live With A Man Baby: WTF is Going on With My Roommate?

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As you know, I've lived with an immature space alien for a year and a half now. This is a character study of a Waalkes gone awry.
1. Lets begin with the digital clocks and silverware in the apartment. We have 3 clocks on kitchen appliances. They are always set to the correct time. If they power goes out, if one gets unplugged, or if Daylight Savings time happens. They are corrected to the right time. The same goes for our silverware. When I unload the dish washer, I don't bother organizing them. Whenever he sees them in this state he immediately corrects them. And yet we always have grease and goo covering all the important surfaces, dishes constantly piled in the sink, and a nausea inducing aroma that scares people. Cleanliness is not a priority but obsessing over minutia is.
2. We have peeping Toms and robbers in the neighborhood. Hey! Maybe lets leave all the blinds open at all times and the door unlocked at night. We've got thousands of dollars in electronics there. O…