Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Great Designer Search Challenges, Round 2

Some of these were pretty challenging and I'm not sure that the flavorful ideas come across well, but hopefully there are some innovative cards. The design search starts next Monday, so be sure to send forth your last minute design challenges/tips/plates of food.

Make an Adam and Steve card.
Adam and Steve – 1G
Creature – Human Druid - Uncommon
Tap: Target player gains 2 life and put an apple token onto Adam and Steve.
When Adam and Steve have three or more apple tokens on them, sacrifice Adam and Steve and put a 1/1 snake token into play.

Go to India, ride an elephant, design a card.
Gorilla Elephant Riders – 3GG
Trample, haste
If Gorilla Elephant Riders is blocked by any creature with power one or less, sacrifice it.

Listen to Tangerine by Led Zeppelin, design a card based on the lyrics.
Epic, Inspirational Sunset – 2WU
Instant - Rare
Until end of turn, creatures you control gain vigilance and tap: draw a card.

Design a card around the concept of awkward social situations.
Goblin Slob
Creature – Goblin Warrior - Common
If you control a non-goblin creature during your upkeep, Goblin Slob gets -1/-0 until end of turn.

Design a card that dies and comes back like Kenny from South Park. Also give it snow walk.
Chrome Cockroach - 3
Artifact Creature – Insect - Rare
Deathtouch, Snow-covered Swampwalk
During your upkeep if Chrome Cockroach is in your graveyard, you may pay 2B to return it to your hand.

This is a really tall order, but figure out how to make banding make sense and be more useful.
Stir the Melting Pot – 4BBB
Sacrifice all creatures you control and put an X/X token into play with trample and B:regenerate where X is equal to the power of all creatures in your graveyard.

Work on your fastball. Design a card afterwards.
Flameburst Dragon – 3RR
Creature-Dragon-Mythic Rare
When Flameburst Dragon is put into a graveyard from play, each player sacrifices two non-mountain lands.
RR, sacrifice Flameburst Dragon: Deals 4 damage to each creature and each player.

Escape from Russia by bribing guards with sexual favors and Vadca. Design a card around you harrowing experience.
Seduce – 2W
Instant – Common
Remove target creature you control and target creature you don’t control from the game until end of turn. Those creatures return to play with a +1/+1 counter.

Make a card akin to the great wall of China.
Great Wall of Ahnk – 6WW
Creature – Wall – Rare
Great Wall of Ahnk may block any number of creatures.

Design a planeswalker based around the persona or likeness of a modern famous political leader.
The Decider – 3BR
Planeswalker-mythic rare
+1: Target creature gains haste until end of turn.
-3: Destroy all creatures.
-8: Sacrifice any number of creatures you control to put that many 4/4 dragons with haste into play.

Make a card around the idea of a hyberbolic time chamber, that places either level up counters on a creature or +1/+1 counters on a creature for every turn its removed from the game.
Hyberbolic Time Chamber - 2
Artifact – Uncommon
2, Tap: Remove target creature you control from the game.
During your upkeep, put a charge counter on Hyberbolic Time Chamber.
2, Sacrifice Hyberbolic Time Chamber: return target creature removed with Hyberbolic Time Chamber to play with a +1/+1 counters for each charge counter on Hyberbolic Time Chamber.

Design a card (preferably a planeswalker) based around Jesus H.W. Christ who died on the cross so that you can eat beanie weenies from Mc'Donald's at low cost. Also, bonus points if make a mechanic around Jesus wagging his finger at you.
Jesus H.W. Christ – 1WW
Planeswalker-mythic rare
+1: put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.
-1: Target creature cannot attack during its controllers next turn.
-4: You get an emblem that says, “Each non-token permanent you control gains Tap: put a 1/1 townsfolk token into play.”

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Billy Quest

I finally finished a game. It's should only take like 5 minutes unless you are dumb and even then it will take 4 minutes. Let me know what you think.


Monday, September 6, 2010

Great Designer Search Challenges, Round 1

Alright, here are my cards for your challenges thus far (most of them anyway). Some of them might be too unnecessarily complicated, but I'm ready for the next round.

Design a card while in 0 Gravity. The Vomit Comet will work but you'll get extra points for actually sneaking onto the space shuttle before it launches.
Fire Spew – 1R
Instant - Uncommon
Fire Spew deals 2 damage to target creature or player. Remove Fire Spew from the game with three vomit counters. During your upkeep, remove a vomit counter and deal one damage to target player. When the last vomit counter is removed, put Fire Spew into your graveyard.

Have a monkey, cat, or elephant paint you a picture and design your card around it.
Peanut Heaven
Land – Rare
Tap: Add one colorless mana to your mana pool.
W, Tap: Target player gains one life.
2G, Tap: Target creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn.

Write down a card design while driving a car. (No cruise control)
Tailgating Sports Car – 3WR
Creature-Hot Rod-Uncommon
Haste, When Tailgating Sports Car comes into play tap target creature. That creature does not uptap during its controllers next untap phase.

Come up with a card design immediately after waking up.
Endless Freefall – 3B
Remove target non-artifact from the game.

Go Super Sayian and fight and beat Freiza thus saving the planet Namek from imminent destruction. Then design a card.
Cute Bunny Rabbit-1W
During your upkeep, gain 5 life.
When you attack, block or play a creature spell, sacrifice Cute Bunny Rabbit.

Design a card that encapsulates the feel of a nuclear apocalypse (ya know the one Barrack Obama is planning).
Secret Muslim Arugula Coup – 5BR
Sorcery – Rare
Each player sacrifices 5 lands, discards 5 cards and sacrifices 5 creatures.

Design a drawback mechanic based off of the idea of addiction or drunkenness. The card's abilities don't necessarily have to worsen as the creature get more wasted.
Drunken Stupor - 1R
Enchantment- Aura - Uncommon
Creature aura
At the beginning of your upkeep, put an alcohol counter on target creature. That creature gets +2/+2 for each alcohol counter on it. Sacrifice that creature if it has 5 or more alcohol counters.

 Design some sort fixed card from the power nine (or anything broken from the early days of magic, I'm thinking type 1 shit).
Tolarian School for the Blind
Land – Mythic Rare
Tolarian School for the Blind comes into play tapped.
Tap: Add U to your mana pool for each artifact you control. Play this ability only if you control an equipment.

Come up with a new way to prevent card disadvantage inherent in creature enchantments.
Creature Aura
Target creature gets +3/+3 and has flying.
If Eternalize is in your graveyard, you may pay 3WW to return it to your hand. Use this ability only during your upkeep.
2: Plainscycling

 Eat 6 burritos before bed. Wake up and design a Spanish flavored set.
Too Many Tacos - R
Target attacking creature an opponent controls gets +3/+0, haste, and trample until end of your. Destroy that creature at the end of combat.

 Design the next blue planeswalker so that it is not overshadowed by Jace the Mindsculpter AND not completely broken. & Create a new "Solemn Simulacrum" based on Randy Buehler's sexy attributes.
Randy Buehler, God of All the Land - 1UUG
Planeswalker – Mythic Rare
+1: Target creature gets -4/-0 until your next upkeep.
-2: Draw two cards.
-7: Search your library for up to three creatures and/or artifacts and put them into play.
Get Joey drunk with Rum and sit him in front of MS Paint for 3 hours. Design cards based on artwork from this session.
Alien/Yeti Spaceship – 5UU
Creature – Beast-Mythic Rare
When Alien/Yeti Spaceship comes into play, target opponent must search your library for one creature card. Put the chosen creature card into your hand and shuffle your library.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Our Blog's Greatest Hits: Some Remembries!

This blog has been around for quite some time, and we've had some nice laughs. I wanted to compose a top ten greatest one hit wonders and have be hosted by the Cutting Crew. They didn't really return my calls, so I guess I have to host the top ten:

10) The time where Chad had his way with that girl in the back of that Humvee. That was fucking awesome. It was so funny. Man Chad can have his way with me mmmmhmmmm.

9) The time during the Bush years where Dick Cheney bad mouthed us on Rush Limbaugh. That was super epic! Man Dick Cheney is Darth Vader. He's probably sitting on the Deathstar right now watching fail blog videos.

8) That one time where Christ Kitty did my taxes. So awesome!

7)When Joey made that really controversial statement about flan that got this blog banned in Mongolia and lower Mollasia. That was ballsy! My contract says I can't really say anything of substance so let's move on!

6) That time Freiza went berserk and committed genocide several times. So cool!!!

5) Remember the time when SPD was good? Neither do I!

4) The time when due to our blog, the fertile and young Billy received that kidney transplant he needed! Sweet!

3) The time where Randy Buehler guest blogged, and I peed, pooed, and jizzed myself at the same time. Bangin'! Needless to say I had to do some laundry after that!

2) The time where I used the blog to call out Cataline in the senate, thus saving the republic from an incredibly dangerous and lengthy civil war. Cataline was such a little bitch! Woah, tubular!

1) That one time where we all banded together and went on a decade long quest to retrieve the Copulus Bible from the deepest depths of Vladimir the Impaler's castle in order to prevent Iblis from escaping his bottled prison, and conjoining with Rongar the destroyer in order to sew the chaos that would ferment the Rangorok where water would into a mix of blood and semen and cattle would whiter and die and the soil would turn grey and fruitless slowly yet swiftly choking the life from our planet, eradicating everything we know love and hold dear. Kick A$$!