Showing posts from August, 2014

Celebrity Cats In Suits Pt. 3


Celebrity Cats In Suits Pt. 2


Celebrity Cats In Suits Pt. 1

Question: Should this be my new FB profile pic?

TMNT aka What I"ve been doing with my Savings

The Sausage Clock's Many Hours

It's 3:00am again.

I sit up in my bed and slap the clock a few times.

I misread the clock. It's actually 4:36 am.

Few people have stolen the sheer volume Beanine Weenie stock that I have. Every hour on the hour I must check the clock. Corporate HQ smelled no whiff of my plan. They had no idea. 37% isn't quite majority, but it rivals the CEO.

I think back to all of the secretaries I had to screw. The big wigs I had to bush. Some of my finest work. God damn it, it's actually 2:36 am.

Why am I writing this? Am I confessing my crimes? Am I bragging? I know the feds are on my back. I'm too smart to be caught by their shit, which why I am here.

Oh where is here, exactly? Whoever finds this will be too stupid to understand. I'll leave directions anyway. Go to Raleigh Durham Airport. Find the sewer grate at the intersection of Franklin and 8th. Go in it at precisely 5:25 am. Too late and you'll miss him. Too early and the guide won't show himself. Plunge into t…


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