Sunday, May 31, 2015

Air Jordans Review

So, I know it might be blasphemy on this blog to post anything about a lacrosse player other than Shaq, but I wanted to let you all know about this hot new take on the most recent Air Jordans. Now if you are a dumpster diving, binge drinking fanatic worth your weight in geldings like me, you already know what the Air Jordans look like when you simulate wearing them on your feat even despite the horrible things Kobe says about you behind your back. However, this fine young cannibal's review/unboxing video/sure sign of the upcoming catpocyclapse put this perspective in a whole new flavor of darkness. I will never be able to eat my Cal Ripken Wheaties the same way. Foooootball!


  1. Cal Ripken is a Women's Soccer coach?

  2. Here's a tip Cal: Remember to kick the balls like you're shooing a dainty butterfly.

  3. Why would you want to shoo away a dainty butterfly? Now one of the muscle-bound, cocaine-snorting, beer-guzzling, America-hating, cartoon-watching that haunt my dreams, well, can you ask Cal how to shoo them away?

  4. 1. Jesus
    2. America
    3. Ham Burgers
    4. Football

    Never Forget.

  5. That was beautiful! Ronald Reagan's ghost just whispered in my ear that you are a true Armenia hero!