Friday, October 2, 2015

Revenge of the Losers EDH Deck

Inspired by Justin's recent foray into shitty Legends commanders, I have decide to build a Torsten Von Ursus EDH Deck.

Torsten Von Ursus

So, since this guy is probably one of the worst commanders of all time in terms of power level, I was at first not sure what to do. Then I started thinking about what I love about this art. This guy is carrying a comedically large shield, wearing a checkerboard-kilt, has crazy giant wings on his helmet, gardening knee pads, and a child molester mustache. What the hell is going on with this guy? He looks like a toddler that dressed himself for the first time. How does he not get laughed off the battlefield by all the angry, mean goblins? Well, all of brought me to the simple fact that I should build a loser-themed EDH deck. So the context of this deck is that it should feature only art that has people or creatures that were made fun of when they went to (Tolarian) High School. They might be awkwardly dressed, creepy, nonathletic, nerdy, way too obsessed with one hobby, off their meds, mocked for being gay, way too much of a spaz to have any friends, or so in to playing their musical instrument that they practice on Friday nights, whatever, as long as they have reason that the preps and the jocks would mock them.

One of the beautiful things about making this deck so far is that I am coming up with an elaborate and often humorous backstory for many of the people/creatures in the art about what their time in high school was like. For example Vigilant Sentry took his job as hall monitor way too seriously and always sucked up to the assistant principal. Lord Magnus spent way too much time walking alone in the woods and smoking pot until one day he got lost and never returned home. Thelonite Druid took his senior pictures in full medieval gear while pretending he could talk to trees.

I have started looking for a number of good cards for this deck and it seems like older sets are a gold mine, since a lot of the art was goofier or worse back then and way fewer of the creatures just look like badasses. The cards I have so far are below, but I need your help. I am having trouble finding a lot more to fill out the rest of the deck and could use any ideas or suggestions you guys have. All the cards don't necessarily have to be creatures, but they should feature some kind of loser character in the art somehow (like Archery Training where the guy clearly took archery as his elective so he could avoid all the jocks pulling down his shorts in weight training). Hit me up with any suggestions you have. Also, I am considering making a jocks deck next, but I'm not sure what commander that deck should have, so let me know if you have any suggestions for that.

Here is a deckbox link to see the pictures (although some would be from an older set than what is pictured):

Here is the decklist so far:
Torsten Von Ursus
Beloved Chaplain
Archery Training
Martyr's Cause
Ardent Militia
Juniper Order Druid
Thelonite Druid
Titania's Chosen
Volunteer Reserves
Deranged Outcast
Shieldmage Advocate
Border Patrol
Revered Elder
Tonic Peddler
Devoted Hero
Deepwood Drummer
Nightshade Peddler
Vigilant Sentry
Charm Peddler
Crossbow Infantry
Devout Harpist
Tragic Poet
Abbey Matron
Daughter of Autumn
Samnite Alchemist
Serra Inquisitors
Lord Magnus
Ivory Guardians
Scavenger Folk


  1. From the Dark: Elves of Deep Shadow can be a Goth girl; festival can be a drama nerd; Niall Silvain is just weird; Scarwood Hag is creepy; as is Scavenger Folk

    From Antiquities: Argivian Archaeologist; Reverse Polarity; Staff of Zegon (for the Mowhawk)

    From Mirage: Horrible Hordes (weird, abstract losers)
    From Tempest: Master Decoy
    From Alliances: Unlikely Alliance
    From Portal: Bee Sting

    Those are my suggestions for now. Seems like a cool deck. If there is any way to make it competitive or at least marginally, that would be really cool. I'd like to see the losers take a few games.

  2. On second thought Elves of Deep Shadow won't work because of the black mana symbol. Wah wah

  3. I like a lot of those ideas. I have found a few more too, including some from Lorwyn and Innistard blocks which have more humor/weird looking humans in the art. Still need like maybe 10-15 more cards. I feel like it would be nice to have even more though so I can pull out a few cards that are just really really bad to make the deck have some ability to not get run over. Also, how should I approach non-basic lands? Do you think there are some that might qualify as nerdy hangout places?

  4. I can see if I can dig up some creatures, but it would help if I knew what new cards you added. Could you update the deckbox link or another way to share what you've already considered? I was thinking Kjeldoran Elite Guard from Ice Age would make a good inclusion since he's got the same helmet.

    As for lands, Okina, Temple to the Grandfathers sounds like an old folks home. Pendelhaven sounds kind of nerdy, I guess. If you include Argivian Archaeologist, you could do Archaeological Dig; Forsaken City sounds like a place for outcasts (though the land is kind of terrible). School of the Unseen sounds appropriate and Safe Haven could be a way to save your outcasts.

    If you're anything like me, if the deck is too on theme but cannot win a game, I'll rarely ever play it. I do like to build decks around crappy generals, but I try to put some good cards in too and sometimes themes, while good ideas, don't make for good decks. Just a word of caution, although something I'm sure you've considered.

  5. Okay, I have updated the decklist with the new changes. I have tried adding a few more higher power cards in there so it won't get run over, but I am thinking of adding in a few more. I feel like most of the cards are have in the deck now are pretty unequivocally losers, but here are some powerful cards that might fit, but I feel like I need a second opinion because I don't want to just put them in because they are powerful. Here they are and now it is time for the game of high school loser or not loser:

    Oblivion Ring
    Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite
    Vorinclex, Voice of Hunger
    Sakura-Tribe Elder
    Gaddock Teeg
    Fauna Shaman
    Archangel of Thune
    Geist-Honored Monk
    Precinct Captain
    True Conviction
    Avacyn, Angel of Hope
    Sun Titan (duel deck art)

    It's starting to come together to the point where I will be able to make a few cuts and it shouldn't just autolose every time (although probably many times).

  6. I think O-ring is fine. You should have some removal. I think it's not going to be easy to find good removal that's on theme. I'd be okay seeing something like Beast Within (Duel Deck) and StP (Iceage...with Kaja Foglio!). I also think Elesh Norn works fine. It's a powerful card, but it has a gaga-esque freak vibe to it. I will probably always be against Vorinclex as he seems like the opposite of fun + not much in the way of a loser there. I think Sankha, Teeg, and Fauna Shaman are easy includes. I think the Archangel is fine, though it's not a loser, it is a team builder for the losers. Kind of like Mentor of the Meek. In that same vein I think True conviction works. I think I can see the case for Geist-Honored monk, she does seem to be hanging out in a crypt. Avacyn seems out of place and I would put her with Vorinclex as one of my least favorite cards to see and neither of which really fit the loser theme. I don't think Sun Titan duel deck art is a loser is it? Seems like a greek giant warrior, but it does bring your guys perhaps you could think of it in a supporting role.

    That's my 2 cents anyway.

  7. Cool, I like those suggestions about beast within and STP (the ice age art is perfect and I feel like the Foglios are the perfect artists for this deck). I think your assessment about most of the cards seem to fit pretty well. I think Sun Titan, Vorinclex, and Acacyn were a stretch and I think my spike side just wanted them in there. I will post a final list once I get all the cards and decide to make some cuts (I'm looking at you harvest mage, not you naan bread).