Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Walmart Antics

Here's an awesome article Tommy showed me about Walmart.  Below are some excerpts:

6:20 AM I notice a bottle of tartar sauce on top of the belts in menswear. I think to myself that this is weird because the store only just opened. The tartar sauce must have been there all night.

2:36 PM I see an unsupervised child who seems to be attempting to open a register. I watch and silently hope that he succeeds. But unfortunately, someone moves him along.

3:59 PM I come to the conclusion that, despite almost overwhelming boredom and an increasingly miserable hangover, I am not able to nap in full view of everyone in a Walmart. I start walking again.

7:30 PM I notice that the store sells sympathy cards in packs of 12. Who experiences death regularly enough that they have to buy their sympathy cards in bulk?

7:38 PM I realize that everyone experiences death that regularly once they hit a certain age. Oh God.

7:44 PM I am going to die one day.

7:50 PM Everyone I know and have ever met is going to die one day.

7:55 PM With this in mind, is spending an entire day and most of a night in a Walmart the best use of my time?

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