Monday, January 26, 2009

Sandslash Anouncement

I have decided to drop out of high school, isolate myself in my room with sufficient supplies I.E. 10 cases of dick cream and avocado Doritos, and train for the first official pokelympics. I want to compete in the med-light category (lvls 40-50), and take gold the medal. I will only use a crack team of 6 lvl 99 sandslashes. The pokelympics take place in May, and this is more than ample time for the adverse side affects of pokemon playing to kick in: Japaneese puberty (where I start to think I'm a pokemon, most likely in this case a sandslash), gimp thumb sydrome, eye strain, internet addiction (by ostention porn addiction), and the most deadly: stinkfoot.
This is an atempt to try and ween myself off of my WoW addiction. My six day WoW sessions which were generally followed by many hours of weeping, masturbating, and sleeping, have begun to worry my family, though I see no problem with my lifestyle. I will continue to make blog posts but they will become more and more incoherant as I unlearn the English language, for the only characters I will be reading are the Pokemon menus. Maybe I'll uncover the secret evolution of Sandslash, but I will definately learn a valuable lesson about friendship. If I don't return or I'm too far gone at the end of the next four months, I ask you all find my secret bastard son and have him finish what I started. Hopefully I'll retain most of my sanity if I go into montage mood, which seriously cuts down the time, but requires me to listen an 80's exercise song while I film it. (should take about a week to put it together if im doing it right). So it's either 7 days of listening the finial countdown non-stop or a third of the year playing pokemon blue.


  1. Good to hear you've finally hit pokepuberty. Sandslashes are majestic creatures created in God's own image. I hear the nibble attack is particularly devastating when it comes to those annoying pidgeys. As for your WoW addiction, I hear a little Ibuprofen will clear that right up.

  2. Dude, I found the sandslash evolution after 6 months of hardcore training, just like you are beginning to undertake. But, dude, you might not like it. You see after you reach 6,000,000 hours played on your cartridge, dude, all your sandslashes evolve into pacifist Dr. Phil's who demand that you go outside and play in the sandbox. It was one of the saddest days in my life and I'm still unable to get Dr. Phil's bald head out of my mental imagery, dude.