1. When you fry balogna it tastes like a hot dog.
2. Eat Yogurt with a spoon only, Jerk.
3. Just because your conditioner smells like fruit doesn't mean it tastes that way.
4. No ice cubes in beer or milk. You should know this.
7. No high fructose corn syrup.
9. Loch Ness, Orang Pendak, Big Foot, and The Mongolian Sand Worm are all real. They laughed at Jules Verne.
10. Caffiene is a drug.
16. Open bar is pretty much the best thing.
17. Listening to 3 different songs at the same time while high with make your head explode.
18. Don't laugh. Head explosions aren't funny.
19. Once I tried astral projection. I woke up exactly an hour later with a splitting headache. Horsehit.
21. The only survivng member of the Frankenstien family at the end of the eponymous novel is Ernest Frankenstien.
22. Depending on the strength of your stove top, it takes about 8 minutes to hard boil an egg.
23. The f word appears 182 times in the movie Scarface. This is where Blink 182 got their name.
89. Use the same mouth you use to cuss to kiss your grandma. Your grandma is OCD about being too clean and it will teach her an important lesson.
ReplyDeleteA. When packing a school lunch, avoid pooping into a paper bag.
BBBB. When playing a prank on someone, avoid packing them a school lunch.
D%(4. Life's a hockey game. Quack it up!
4. Under no circumstances should you ever stop encouraging Tripp to eat his biscuit.
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ReplyDelete42. The word ra'ah 'to see' occurs 7 times in 1 Samuel 9 and that's why we have ladybugs.
ReplyDelete24. The only person to survive the Mayberry massacre was Ernest Borgnine.
1982. Short shorts are good all year round. They are always comfortable, stylish, and in season.