Sunday, April 19, 2009

Tyler Brown Will Learn His Lesson!

It may be a shock to many of our loyal readers (yes, I'm talking about you Sandy), but occasionally I may take a comical, less-than-genuine tone on my posts on this blog. However, what I have to talk about in this post is utterly seriously and of great importance to everyone who has ever lost something important to them. Of course, I'm talking about Tyler Brown and this 1990 Topps Baseball card commemorating Nolan Ryan's 5,000 strikeout:

Back in 1992, when I was in fourth grade, I had a friend from cub scouts named Tyler Brown. Tyler and I enjoyed playing Questron II, trading baseball cards and playing on his slip n' slide. However, one tragic day our relationship turned from fun and games to unlawful theft. You see, Tyler noticed my previously mentioned Nolan Ryan card on top of a stack of baseball cards I had recently traded my Delino DeShields and Randy "Moose" Mulligan rookie cards for. That day, Tyler mention how much he liked this commerative Nolan Ryan card and when I mentioned that I would not trade it, he seemed disappointed. So, he asked me to describe a model I had built and painted of a Veloca Raptor while he slipped the card into his shirt pocket.

Mintues later, I noticed the card in his shirt pocket and was overwhelmed with rage. I decided to confont him about it when his mother came to pick him up from our play date, since mothers never stand for this kind of thing. So, hours later, in front of Tyler's mom, I asked what was in his pocket and he denied the card was there despite the fact it was obviously hanging out like a used condom.

I never did recieve that precious Noland Ryan card back and I never hung out with Tyler again. However, I still belive Tyler should take responsibility for his actions. This is where I'm asking for your help, my faithful readers. I want you to secure as many copies of the above card and mail them each in separate envelopes to Tyler Brown at this address:

Tyler Brown
43 Whooping Crane Lane
Houston, Texas 77058

Tyler will be so inindated with guilt at see the card he stole haunt his mailbox everyday that he will have no choice but to return my card. With your help we can make a difference and show the Tyler Browns of the world that they are not free to bully those people possessing cool baseball cards.


  1. Is all this true? I seem to recall I made the veloca raptor model!! Nolan Ryan isn't real anyway.

  2. Yeah man did this actually happen? Did this happen when I was in rehab or in diapers?

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