Saturday, April 11, 2009

The Circle of Life

For every baby that is made you must kill another baby.
It is the circle of life.
Babies are like the river of life,
there must be a constant flow of baby life and death.
The universe will fall into chaos.
The baby won't give a fuck,
he just gets shitty fingers all over things
then like barfs everywhere.
To baby, the order of things makes no difference.
He just pees on what he wants,
then watches cartoons.
Babies are like adorable but priks at the same time,
like the lovable guy you know from high school,
mad unreliable, but so damn charismatic (okay sexy sometimes)
that you can't hate him.


  1. You're right! America needs to take off their baby tinted glasses and realize how much babies are draining our economy and sucking our resources. All babies do is consume food and make messes in their diapers without doing any work. The original American colonies were founded on adults doing hard work, not on free handouts. There is no such thing as a free lunch, babies. So, you better learn to use clean up your own barf. Tigershark Out!!

  2. But my baby tinted glasses also double as X-ray specs that allow me to see women's underwear. I got them as a prize in a box of cracker jacks.

  3. Let's not forget, dude. We are all really just big babies. As in, large versions of babies. Or is it the other way around?

  4. I take offense at your comment because Mommy says I'm a big boy.