Tuesday, December 21, 2010
My Top Ten Favorite Magic Cards #2
Zuberas, O, Zuberas! How my brain emits euphoria at the sight of your eyeless faces?
Zuberas, O, Zuberas! My lions do feel tender in your presence like a Christmas ham glistening in cherry glaze!
Zuberas, O, Zuberas! What majesty will you have in store for me in my next game?
Will you draw me many cards? Will you gain me much life? Will you destroy my opponents hands?
How I delight at the possibilities! How I love to collect you, to count you, to destroy you at my own hands!
You have been made to live and multiply for the sole purpose of my amusement and card advantage!
Countless pundits, talking heads hiding behind their sharpened Jittes and trusty Tarmogoyfs, have dismissed you, even mocked you as, "useless, boring, lame." Others have ignored you shoved away behind stacks of benalish heroes and chub toads, forgotten in an abyss of terrible cards.
O, Zuberas! How have such noble creatures be forced to such a cruel fate! You and I know you belong in between protective sleeves, you belong alongside Akroma and Ink-Eyes and Konda, you belong on the battlefield with your breathern, ready to head to you demise at a moment's notice! You belong in Zubera, a land of opportunity, prosperity and hope, a land where men are whiskers and women are compact discs, a land where you are beautiful in its multiple red suns and free to roam its cheese-covered groves, a land called Zuberica, the only land for me!