How to Form a Semi-Sucessful Metal Band

1) Have a name that either invokes grotesque imagery or shows how little you give a fuck.

2) Have a band member do a lot of cocaine (applicable to most any 80's band).

3) Sing about epic topics such as dragon slaying, murder, dead gods, or war.

4) Sue Napster.

5) Do charity work, which is cool, but still kinda breaks the whole "we don't give a fuck," image.

6) Gain a reputation as hypersensitive assholes.

Comments

  1. @UNIVERSAL UNICORN: YOU SHITHEAD. NAPSTER IS HITLER AND YOU DON"T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT METAL IS!!! IT IS IDIOTS LIKE YOU WHO HAVE NO ARE GONNA MAKE INDIA INVADE AMERICA!!!!! YOU PROLLOY GREW UP IN A BARN WHERE YOUR MOTHER FED YOU FISH FOOD AND YOUR BRAIN NEVER DEVELOPED BEYOND THAT OF A TURTLES!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey! I take offense at that remark. Turtles are highly intelligent creatures and I will not have you sully their good name by comparing them to Universal Unicorn. Also, is this twitter? What's up with the @? Otherwise, all good points.

    ReplyDelete

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