Monday, August 31, 2009

Away Messages Pt 1

On this, the last day of August, I give to you some away messages I have compiled from my esteemed colleague who will remain nameless in the off chance that he may read this. The punctuation has remained the same as it was when I first recorded these wisdom nuggets. If you don't know who these nuggets (turds) belong to, then I will give you a clue: At parties, he likes to eat mashed potatoes. Alone. In a darkened room.

I was squeezed my anus gland!

Mmm, but it seems to be hard. And, your big head protrudes.

Your buttocks are denfenseless.

I bet you didn't know potatoes were so juicy"


  1. Joey this is you isn't it, admit it. I knew you were the notorious butt bandit. I always wondered why my ass was so sore whenever you came home.

  2. Actually, it was me. Sorry Tiz, I used Big Joseph as a cover so that you wouldn't suspect me. That said, I did always leave you a little candy surprise.

  3. A Poem . . .

    Nights in White Satin (Jabba's Nightmare Vacation)

    I slept on the bench;
    please let me go home, you winch.

    I saw the shadows and noises
    of your son in his bedroom.
    He was touching his penis.
    It was inappropriate sleepover behavior.

    This is why I say
    I'm not going with you to Cancun.