Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Dr. Phil Found Poem

This is a poem I wrote using entirely the words that came out of the man's mouth in one episode of Dr. Phil.

Let’s just be honest here.
I’ve got some friends that are real mouth-breathers.
Do you consider yourself a smart guy?
The University of Budapest doesn’t exist.
You deserve some help.

She found numerous pictures of your private parts on your phone as well. Are those for distribution?
There are some things you need to acknowledge.
You’ve got to think about somebody besides yourself and wonder what kind of chaos is going on in her head and here you come in and it’s just urr urr urr urr urr.
Do you know what misogynistic means? Do you know what chauvinistic means? Do you know what jerk means?

We’re talking about this and you look like you’re sitting here ready to order lunch.
Why is this okay?
It’s just wrong. It’s just absolutely wrong.
You need to fix it here now.

Women, do y’all wanna see that?
I don’t care what they tell you. They don’t want to see that. They don’t want to see that.

She’s no princess here.


  1. Dr. Phil is bald and has a mustache?

  2. Also this: