What are his platforms you ask?
The dwarves should be our slaves!
Every town should have a statue of great Archibald!
The budget should be balanced with magic!
The dragons should humanity's bitch!
The peasantry should shut up and become skeletons like good boys and girls!
Still not convinced?
You'll change your tune once Archibald personally slaughters every dissident!
So when you go to the polls this year, remember one thing:
Archibald does not fuck around!
(paid for by the Dick Cheney Wants to See the World Burn Coalition)