Thursday, May 24, 2012

Archibald 2012!!!

I've decided to back a horse in this wacky presidential race, his name Archibald Ironfist!
What are his platforms you ask?
The dwarves should be our slaves!
Every town should have a statue of great Archibald!
The budget should be balanced with magic!
The dragons should humanity's bitch!
The peasantry should shut up and become skeletons like good boys and girls! 

Still not convinced?
You'll change your tune once Archibald personally slaughters every dissident!

So when you go to the polls this year, remember one thing:
Archibald does not fuck around!
(paid for by the Dick Cheney Wants to See the World Burn Coalition) 


  1. Tommy,

    I don't know if you know this but giant marshmallows are a thing now. I'm serious. They sell them at all the major grocery stores. They are about the size of baseballs and I have no idea why any one would need that much marshmallow. I think it has something to do with everything being bigger in Texas but I'm not sure...


  2. Dear Archibald,
    You have a girl's haircut and the body of the first kid who gets out at dodgeball. Run against me and find out. Nobody fucks with the Hack!
    Crag Hack