I have hacked into the president's email and found this:
Evil Monkeyman Dictatorship -BBBRRR
When this card
destroy all players FREEDOM and LIBERTY and
put a 3/8 Black Red Evil Monkey President token into play
that says this creature doesn't give a shit about the rules.
FREEDOM OF SPEECH now means NOTHING.
Players may only continue to play with you if they feed you
arugula or LIES.
"Mr. President, Grow some BALLS!"
-Joe Six-Pack, a REAL American man
This means only one thing: I HAVEN'T PRAYED
TO BABY JESUS HARD ENOUGH TO BRING RONALD REAGAN
DOWN FROM HEAVEN TO SET THINGS RIGHT IN THE WORLD.
CLEARLY OBAMA IS THE DRUNKEN WHORE IN THE WILDERNESS
IN THE BOOK OF REVELATION. ANY OTHER INTERPRETATIONS
ARE SNAKE OIL SALESMEN LIES.
On an unrelated note, anyone down for Bingo at SOME point. I REALLY want to play. It HAS been ages since my LAST game of Bingo.