William's Bold and Unfounded Claims: Part 6

America is the capital of heroes.

Christ Kitty Web Comic II

New Banner

Any critiques on the Banner/Color Scheme/Background? Lets take a vote. Do I include the dogs or keep it like this?

SUNDAY!

YAY!

Suspenders!

I'm thinking of giving up the whole belt thing and wearing only suspenders from now on. Here are the perceived advantages:

1. Suspenders are more fashionable. (see picture above.)
2. Suspenders make people take you seriously, but still show you have a fun side.
3. Belts are trying to choke your waist, suspenders are using the natural positioning of your shoulders to your advantage.
4. Suspenders are fashionable in many different colors and can be used to support various interesting lapel pins that express my personality.

The only down side is that it might be easier for a Kindergartener to pull on my suspenders and make my pants fall down and I could lose my job.

What do you guys think?

Dear Tommy

Dear Tommy,

Oh sorry, it's Linda now. That's going to take some getting used to! Anyway, congratulations on your sex change operation. I hear that everything went off without a hitch! Now you can finally be the woman that you've always been inside. Of course now you'll have to buy a whole new wardrobe but I know you've got a good fashion sense! You've always looked good in Fuchsia! Now that you're a woman you'll have to get a new boyfriend. Don't worry that lucky man will come around sometime soon! Just be wary. Some men will only want you for your feminine looks so use your discretion. Also now that you have to shave three times a day you may need to get a good aftershave. I recommend Aqua Velva! Finally, Don't tell Mom and Dad. We should surprise them this summer! I think they'll understand!

Sincerely,

Joey

Spoils of War

After eating three plates of indian food for lunch, provided for by the law school. Veronica and I took home this for later:








In addition to that we also got some seafood, which was what the law school provided for dinner:

Law School

What do most people (non-law students) use the Law School for on weekends? A bathroom. The End.

Quack

For my presentation, I choose to write about my trip to Chicago. While in Chicago I got a chance to visit the famous Chicago Oriental Institute Museum. It was really cool and I saw some mummies on racks. However, the thing that stood out most in my mind was all the ancient Duck artifacts. I have included them below for your enjoyment.
































































It seems the ancients enjoyed ducks as much as we do today. I think we have a lot to learn from ducks, as they are more interested in sex and food than war and evil. If everyone was more interested in food and sex the world would be a better place. I learned a lot on my trip and I hope you learned a lot too. I hope you enjoyed my short presentation and that Mrs. McGuffy gives me an A so I don't fail because of my "lack of focus." Thank you!

This is a public service announcement.

This Is A Public Service Announcement. Mark Rosewater is Glenn Beck.

Arguementum Atemptum

Hic est signum mulieris.

Spell Checkin'

I have decided to run these names through the spell checker to see how they're correctly spelled.

Joey Waalkes = Joey Walkovers
Randy Bhueler = Randy Bhutanese
Jose Canseco = Jose Cankerous
Barrack Obama = Barrack Alabama
Hideki Matsui = Hideous Catsuit
Gerrard Despardieu = Gerrard desperadoes
Yuthapong Varanukrohchoke = Southhampton (No Spelling Suggestions)
Mogwai = Hogwash