Saturday, February 22, 2014

Sliver Queen vs. Cranial Extraction

Sliver QueenCranial Extraction

So, Ima gonna be a total asshole in this post to someone who was but a little boy and I am fully aware of that, but it is the one day of the year where I am allowed to be an asshole!

So, back in the golden year of 2004, when men were men and donkeys were chickens and all of the girls smelled like cream cheese, young Tommy opened a cranial extraction, the hot chase rare of the current set valued at at $20 (how quaint!). A few weeks later, I wanted to trade this cranial extraction to a weird guy who drank too much caffeine and lived in a trailer in Hillsborough with magic cards covering the floor of every room (He would later go on to film himself comboing off with dragon storm on some little kid and throwing the card in his face). Tommy, however, refused to let me make this trade because he wanted to hold on to his cranial extraction even though I new cranial extraction was a card that would drop once it rotated out of standard, while Sliver Queen would continue to rise as slivers would always be popular until the end of time or the length of John Stamos's career, whichever comes first. I pleaded with him and he would not do it. If I remember correctly, I believe Tommy ended up trading the Cranial Extraction to Skippy for half of a root beer, a Mogg Flunkie and a dirty sock. I just want to point out that Cranial Extraction is currently valued at about $1 and Sliver Queen is currently valued at $42.

Sorry, Tomy. I'm done being self righteous and I'm sure Emperor Cladius has a special place in purgatory for people like me. You are now allowed to rub jam in my shoes and put bananas under my pillow at some time when I am not paying attention. Also, Philville will offer you political asylum if you ever are force to flee from your home country because your government decrees that you are legally obligated to eat a stick of deodorant.

7 comments:

  1. I'm here to set the record straight cause you're raging liberal who spent too much time in the spin zone. You forgot Poland. I have a coalition of the willing. I'm sorry. Game OVER. What now Atheists?
    Skippy was fighting in Afghanistan so I couldn't have traded with him. Since you don't listen to my talk radio show, you only heard what the LAMEstream media has to say on the topic. Objectivity and FACTS apparently aren't in your liberal feel-good Rachael Maddow issued dictionary. Nor are hard-work and patriotism, Commie bastard. I traded the cranial for Sliver Overlord which cost slightly less than Sliver Queen at the time and far less in step with the Gay-agenda. Go back to crying and picking flowers.

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  2. Daaaaaamn Son! Tizzle just dropped some knowledge on you!

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  3. I would just like to remind everyone that it's leaf season.

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  4. Thank you for showing me there error of my ways by all this time I was spending in the spin zone. It all makes sense now as to why the world is always spinning around and everyone seems to be trying to convince me to drink vegan soy milk. However, I wholeheartedly support our troops and show this support by the numerous large yellow ribbon stickers I have on the back of my Sports Utility Vehicle. However, I am concerned that you do not actually support or troops since you mentioned how Skippy was in Afghanistan in your statement but did not explicitly make reference to the greatness of America, did not show a photo of yourself wearing an American flag lapel pin and did not talk about the purple hearts you won fighting valiantly for our glorious country. You are more interested in making fun of me with broad generalizations about picking flowers (while disrespecting the thousands of find florists throughout our great nation who work hard to allow you to get laid on valentine's day) than you are about discussing the real issues our country as a nation at war. While there are brave men and women dying in the name of freedom, you are out throwing away your dignity by trading your cranial extraction for a lesser sliver lord! William G. Harding is rolling over in his grave!

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  5. Oooohh Snap! Are you gonna take that Tommy?! He just made you look like a little bitch!

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  6. I feel like Joey's role in this is as an instigator, equivalent to the guy yelling "Fight! Fight! Fight!" Also, no one has shown enough love to this country until I see a picture of them fucking an apple pie while standing atop a soaring bald eagle with a bible in one hand and a machine gun in the other hand firing wildly into the air as they sing the star spangled banner with a single tear in their eye.

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  7. Oh my dayum, Apple Pie! Justin just dissed you and yo mama!

    OK I'm done now...

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