I was looking at help wanted ads and found this one for a dishwasher at Dave and Busters. I thought it was too good not to post. Keep in mind this job probably pays minimum wage and these guys are actually trying to recruit new dishwashers.
YOU WILL BE GREAT AT D&B IF:
- The kitchen is a way of life and you can rock the Hobart!
- You can rock a Friday night and not break a single dish!
- You are willing to do whatever it takes and there’s no job you will not do!
- Sanitation is the name of the game.
- You have a friendly engaging style that our coworkers enjoy!
- You love working for a growing company.
- You live, love and embrace a fun, upbeat culture.
- When you wake up, going to work actually sounds like it could be cool!
- Dress the part - Chef pants and coat, it does not get better than that!
- Come in, clock in and join the fun!
- Quality adherence and sanitation are just a given!
- We work hard and we play hard, so when you need it - take a break.
- Back to the floor, showing endless fun!
- The shift is over – Everything is clean and put away, clock out and call it a day!
- Days, nights and weekends, we can find a time.
- First job or second job, it does not matter! Enjoy schedule flexibility!
- You can read the Full Job Description by clicking on this link!
This is one of the most bizarre job descriptions I have ever seen! How on earth would anyone in their right mind think this is even remotely accurate? How could anyone possibly wake up and think that coming to work at Dave and Busters would be "cool?" How exactly is washing dishes "joining the fun?" How depressing a life do you have to have if it doesn't get better than chef pants and coat? How on earth is a dishwasher supposed to deliver an "unparalleled guest experience?" How can you wash dishes in a way that is unparalleled? Do you go and give guests a handjob after you wash their dishes? Do you poop on their dirty plates and send them back out to their tables? Certainly you wouldn't find paralells to that anywhere else in the restaurant industry, but when it comes to washing dishes isn't it better to have a paralleled experience? Sanitation is the name of the game?! What kind of fucking stupid game is this? Can I stop playing it? This is like everyone else is playing something fun like Monopoly (which I know is arguable not even fun) and you are stuck mopping up puke on Baltic Avenue while everyone around you is vague enjoying themselves or at least drinking. How exactly do you rock a Friday night? Is it even possible for us as human beings to "rock" time? Does time not continue to go on despite anything we might try to do? Do we have any control whatsoever over our destinies? Who's definition of rocking are we using? Because my defition of rocking a Friday night might be burning Dave and Busters to the ground in the name of anarchy after I didn't get enough tickets in ski ball. What now minimum wage Dave and Buster's advertisement writer? I have called you out on your copious bullshit? What are you gonna do cry like a sissy or come get revenge on your corporate overlords by joining me at my local Dave and Busters so we can rock this Friday night? Bring your engaging style and a book of matches and some bottle rockets! There is no job I won't do!
ReplyDeleteI had never heard of Dave & Buster's before this. The D&B website claims that the restaurant is the "most fun you can have all under one roof." I'm starting to notice a trend. Is this ad from the 90s, did it come here in a time machine? Aside from the overly positive dudebro attitude, much of the ad doesn't make sense, as Phil pointed out. "You live, love and embrace a fun, upbeat culture" = no goths? "When you wake up, going to work actually sounds like it could be cool!" ... it may sound like it COULD be cool, but I think we all know that it won't. "You are willing to do whatever it takes and there’s no job you will not do!" = you will have to murder people or clean up a murder scene and give sexual favors to your boss. There are many jobs I would not do, certainly not for minimum wage. But I wonder, do you really want someone who was willing to do anything for their job? Because the only people like that are likely to lack a moral compass and probably basic human emotion, I'm mainly thinking serial killer here. I think someone should apply for this job and then in the interview, spend the whole time giving them shit about the ad.
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