Inspirational Poster Bot

In case you guys haven't already seen it, check this out:

Some good ones I've gotten:

The Weiner That Started It All

This is the name of my new erotic fan fiction book about Adam. Also, the hot dog car is back, bitches!!!!!!#~!

No Rubbing, No Bumping

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAojxWZRVKk

Also, this is the title of my new Christian abstinence-promoting rock album. The first single will be "Jesus is Watching You Dry Hump."

Joint

Mayank Never Gave a Speech Like This Because He got one A-.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/education/wp/2017/06/20/a-valedictorian-went-rogue-in-his-final-speech-his-school-tried-to-shut-him-down/

This might be the most epic class president speech since Tommy's famous vending machine speech of '98. It also makes me think something like this could be a really funny Tommy and friends episode where Tommy wins his class election by giving everyone scratch and sniff stickers. Then the principal cuts his mic when he gives a speech promising vending machines. Then Tommy sneaks into the principal's office with hippo to leave a little surprise.

Mission Accomplished!!!

Fun fact, if you name your baby Hitler, he's not going to have many Jewish friends. Oh also if you name your baby I WILL EAT A STICK OF DEODERANT AND STREAM ON TWITCH ALONG WITH THE SUBSEQUENT CALL TO POISON CONTROL/DRIVE TO THE ER.

Blog Petition III

Its spring and babies are in the air!

Hi all,

I would like you all to sign this petition requesting that Justin and Veronica Tommy eat a stick of deodorant update the blog with a better layout and cooler graphics name their baby Joseph/Josephine. Other than Pyknite, Joey is clearly the best possible name for a baby. Its worked pretty well for me and I, like all people, am a gigantic baby. I'd even be willing to go by Joe or Sunny to avoid confusion. Below I have listed several more reasons why this is a good idea:

1. Baby kangaroos are Joeys.
2. Joey was on Friends. Chicks will use that to flirt all the time when he or she grows up.
3. In future times, the name Joey will be slang for space pirate.
4. I can play the bass fast and loose like some sort of Greek God. Its not genetics or talent. Its the name.
5.I invented fire, the wheel, and cheese pudding.
6. Back in the stone age, Joey was synonymous with "Oh shit! Here comes a Cheetah!"
7. If your baby is indeed The Chosen One as the prophecies have foretold, the intergalactic civil war will end after 9000 years and finally there will be peace in the universe.
8. I have black friends.
9. Lastly, this blog needs more readers and word of mouth isn't really working any more.

So if we can get 100 comments on here I really think you guys should consider it! Again spam counts so have at it Abo-Bder.

I also request that Tommy listen to Knights In White Satin by The Moody Blues while doing this. Thankyouverymuch!

YES!

http://www.fiona-rae.com/paintings/2007-11/as-i-run-and-run-happiness-comes-closer/

More Over Zach Baggins . . .

Finn C. has just one upped you at the ghost hunting game. Now if he could only work on his ghost taunting, he should have his own TV show.

Doran, the Siege Tower

Veronica and I finished Tommy's late Christmas gift this past weekend. We did Doran as a Neo-Assyrian siege engine and so I translated it into Akkadian in Neo-Assyrian script/ductus. If I do say so myself, I think she did a great job with the art. We'll bring it with us next time we come to visit. Hope you like it!

For inspiration, we mostly copied from Ashurnasirpal II's palace reliefs of siege engines at work. See below:

Back by Popular Demand

The bots who sometimes post comments on our blog and are trying to become self aware have demanded another Alex Jones video so they can better understand what it means to be human. Maybe they will have mercy on me during the robot apocalypse now that I have posted this . . .

Cactus Care Emergency

Tonight the kitties bit the top off of my cactus and peed in it. I am trying to save it's life, but I don't know what to do. With the annual cactus care conference in Montreal months away, I am in desperate need of advice from a cacti enthusiast.