House Rules Question

How do the wishes work in our house rules? If I am playing a deck with 4 Hedron Alignment, should I be allowed to search up another Hedron Alignment from outside the deck with Golden Wish? California Pedophile Skateboarding enthusiasts want to know.

Revenge of the Losers EDH Deck

Inspired by Justin's recent foray into shitty Legends commanders, I have decide to build a Torsten Von Ursus EDH Deck.

So, since this guy is probably one of the worst commanders of all time in terms of power level, I was at first not sure what to do. Then I started thinking about what I love about this art. This guy is carrying a comedically large shield, wearing a checkerboard-kilt, has crazy giant wings on his helmet, gardening knee pads, and a child molester mustache. What the hell is going on with this guy? He looks like a toddler that dressed himself for the first time. How does he not get laughed off the battlefield by all the angry, mean goblins? Well, all of brought me to the simple fact that I should build a loser-themed EDH deck. So the context of this deck is that it should feature only art that has people or creatures that were made fun of when they went to (Tolarian) High School. They might be awkwardly dressed, creepy, nonathletic, nerdy, way too obsessed with one hobby, off their meds, mocked for being gay, way too much of a spaz to have any friends, or so in to playing their musical instrument that they practice on Friday nights, whatever, as long as they have reason that the preps and the jocks would mock them.

One of the beautiful things about making this deck so far is that I am coming up with an elaborate and often humorous backstory for many of the people/creatures in the art about what their time in high school was like. For example Vigilant Sentry took his job as hall monitor way too seriously and always sucked up to the assistant principal. Lord Magnus spent way too much time walking alone in the woods and smoking pot until one day he got lost and never returned home. Thelonite Druid took his senior pictures in full medieval gear while pretending he could talk to trees.

I have started looking for a number of good cards for this deck and it seems like older sets are a gold mine, since a lot of the art was goofier or worse back then and way fewer of the creatures just look like badasses. The cards I have so far are below, but I need your help. I am having trouble finding a lot more to fill out the rest of the deck and could use any ideas or suggestions you guys have. All the cards don't necessarily have to be creatures, but they should feature some kind of loser character in the art somehow (like Archery Training where the guy clearly took archery as his elective so he could avoid all the jocks pulling down his shorts in weight training). Hit me up with any suggestions you have. Also, I am considering making a jocks deck next, but I'm not sure what commander that deck should have, so let me know if you have any suggestions for that.

Here is a deckbox link to see the pictures (although some would be from an older set than what is pictured):
https://deckbox.org/sets/1218223?v=v

Here is the decklist so far:
Torsten Von Ursus
Beloved Chaplain
Archery Training
Martyr's Cause
Ardent Militia
Squire
Pyknite
Juniper Order Druid
Thelonite Druid
Titania's Chosen
Volunteer Reserves
Deranged Outcast
Shieldmage Advocate
Border Patrol
Revered Elder
Tonic Peddler
Devoted Hero
Deepwood Drummer
Nightshade Peddler
Vigilant Sentry
Charm Peddler
Crossbow Infantry
Devout Harpist
Tragic Poet
Cartographer
Abbey Matron
Daughter of Autumn
Samnite Alchemist
Serra Inquisitors
Lord Magnus
Ivory Guardians
Scavenger Folk

8 Year Olds, Dude

As all of America now know, this clip from the movie Supersize Me is now super creepy!! I mean he is totally checking out that little girl the entire time and clearly not even listening. Also, Jared maybe you should take your own advice that "the world's not going to change, you have to change," since you are a pedophile and need to change.

Anyway, I believe it is now our imperative to change young Tommy's now classic Subway Jared magic card design to keep up with the current times. So, the person who comes up with the best submission wins a bucket of fried chicken. Here is my submission:

Subway Jared, Pedophile - RR

Summon Pantless Man-child

Art - Subway Jared, Pedophile eats a Subway sandwich on a park bench while starring at schoolchildren playing.

Tap: Look at target opponent's hand and force them to discard any cards depicting children in their art. They go to the graveyard and, hopefully, to counseling paid for with all that dirty dirty Subway money.

If Mother of Runes is in play, sacrifice Subway Jared, Pedophile and hit him over the head with a large purse.

8 year olds, dude

1/1

HOLY BRJSH

http://youtu.be/WRxCeO2KIS8?t=8m6s

How To Seduce Women Through Hypnosis

My Grand Prix Richmond Tournament Report

 

First off, this is the deck list I ran that Anthony had pretty much shown me a few days before. I had played a version of the deck once last fall when he came to visit me and wanted to test some modern and enjoyed playing it’s all in on a bunch of silly auras on silly creatures strategy, but I had little experience with it and little knowledge of the modern format beyond this limited playtesting.

Originally, I was thinking I wasn’t going to go to this tournament because I had a lot of assignments due after break, because I had so little experience in the modern format, because I wanted to save money and because whenever I hang around Anthony it means not eating until late for every meal and getting to sleep late so I knew it would wear me out. However, he talked me into going since it would be an experience being such a big tournament and he offered to pay for gas and hotel money. So it wasn’t until the Friday morning when the tournament actually started that I decided to go.

Anthony came and picked me up in Greensboro at my apartment on the way to Richmond during a fairly terrible ice storm where there was a powerline/tree limb down that was completely blocking one side of my road and most of the streetlights in the city were out because few places had power. As soon as he got out of the car with Delanio, who owns the shop we used to play at and sponsors the “team” from there, the idea was suggested that I could play under Austin’s name who did not think to get a ride to the shop so that he could carpool to Richmond. Delanio had already paid the $40 for Austin, so I agreed because I thought I wouldn’t do well since I didn’t know the format and this would save me the $40 entry fee.

Along with the two other Native guys who drove in a separate vehicle, we got to the tournament and watched a lecture by Patrick Chapin which was tremendously helpful in me understanding what the modern format was all about, including some of the best cards and an overview of many of the decks. Then we ate pizza and went back to the hotel to prepare our decks and get some sleep for the next morning’s tournament. I asked a bunch of questions about how the deck worked and how I should sideboard and felt like I started understanding the format and many of the dominant strategies better. I also watched some videos of it online that taught me some of the little tricks of the deck including the importance of being aggressive with mulliganing (going down to even 4 or 3 cards sometimes which I did multiple times during the tournament). Then I tried to get some sleep, but couldn’t sleep at all because Delanio did not bring his CPAP machine for sleep apnea and even lied to Anthony that he did and he made so much noise gasping for air the whole night that I don’t think I got more than a few hours of sleep.

The next morning, I got registered and saw GAC in my pod and talked to him for a long time which mostly involved listening to him talk about magic formats I didn’t know much about and about how he was going to be a financial auditor. The crazy thing was that since I was not knowledge about the format and not expecting to do well, I was not the least bit nervous that morning and in fact other than one small moment, did not feel nervous the entire time I played that day. The guy I was playing for had a first round bye, so I played against Anthony during the first round and got to understand the deck a little better. Then I won the first two rounds I played against some people who were competent, but not extremely strong players. The second guy I played tried to combo out two games against me with grapeshot and seemed to miscalculate how to do it right and fizzled out both times.

Then in the 4^th round, I was paired up with Craig Wescoe. When he first shook my hand and introduced himself as Craig, my first instinct was to say, “Oh Shit” in my head. However, right after that, I decided that I was not going to acknowledge that he was a pro so that I would not psych myself out and instead just treated it like another day at the office. I mulliganed down to 5 the first game and made a pretty critical mistake where I attacked with my auraed up boggle into an active knight of the reliquary not thinking about his ability to search up a fetch land and play abrupt decay on one of my auras to kill my guy. The attack essentially blew me out of this game, a game that I actually seemed to be winning up until that point. The second game I had a solid 7 card hand and despite his best efforts put solid pressure on him the entire game and ended up winning when he made a mistake not realizing that the kor spiritdance got +2/+2 for having keen sense on it as I attacked for the win. The third game I had to mulligan down to 4 and he had a couple of thoughtseizes making it almost impossible for me to come back. Even though I lost, I was happy to be able to go toe to toe with somebody who is one of the best magic players of all time and not get my ass beat into the ground.

At this point, I was expecting my second loss to come fairly soon and then a third so I could go do some side drafts, which I was looking forward to. However, the crazy thing was I never lost another match, even though there were some close calls. I ended up going 8-1 and making day 2. Most people I played were really nice. Many of them made some misplays that swung the matches in my favor, something I wasn’t entirely expecting in people who were winning that much. However, there was one guy I play in the middle rounds that got really angry at me for beating him in a couple of games that were not really close. He talked about how lucky I was to always draw what I needed and started cussing. I wished him good luck and all he said was pffft and rolled his eyes. I beat one deck which I only later learned was a meleria pod deck with two amazing hands without even having any idea what the deck did. All I saw was him play a kitchen finks and a spike feeder and I had no idea what he might be trying to do. I thumped a couple of scapeshift decks which I seemed to have a good matchup against and outplayed a tough zoo opponent by using daybreak coronet which they could do almost nothing about. Every time I won I was shocked and not expecting it to continue.

Now at the end of the first day standing at 8-1, we all start to talk about what I am going to do since I am not playing under my own name. What if I get matched up against a pro during day two and they put our match online as the feature match? What if I do well enough to get prizes and have to fill out the tax forms with the incorrect information? What if I even made top 8 and was found out as a fraud? Could both of us get banned? Would I even be able to get any prizes? Given all of these potential consequences, it pains me to say that I decided not to participate in day two and slept in a little later instead. One of the guys I was with even said he overheard someone who was overjoyed at the fact that their opponent did not show up to day 2. While I will always wonder how I might have done if I had continued playing and if I could have won the whole thing or at least made some money in prizes, I think it was best to not get both of us banned or in trouble.

The second day, I bombed in a side draft where I rare draft 10 rares most of them out of color, but at least made my money back. Then Anthony and I went undefeated in a two-headed giant sealed event that was a blast to play in. It was an exciting time and I am still a bit in shock that I ended up doing so well. And now I learned an important lesson that I will always play in tournaments under my own name. The entire saving money angle was silly had I stopped to think about it since the batterskull and playmat that you get for entering were worth more than $40. If I have time, I might try to go to some more big tournaments like this soon, since I was a blast seeing so many magic players all having fun at the same time. And that is what I did during my summer vacation.

Magic Personality Quiz

I found this magic player personality quiz, which at first I almost dismissed because the questions are often silly and dated, but in the end the result and write up were quite interesting. I would be curious to see what you all get.

Here are my results, which felt like the resonated well with my strengths and weaknesses as a player who does best with an intense level of focus. I haven't read the other 15 results, but this does seem like an interesting way to think about what kind of magic player you are that goes beyond the Spike, Timmy, and Johnny distinction.

Phil, you are a... Supercomputer (CDFG) Competitive Defensive Flexible Game-player

You're a serious player who's out there to win. You handle a lot of complex strategic ideas, gradually number-crunching and thinking your way to victory. 'That's the just the way it is' is the attitude of lesser beings than you. You're always analysing your game while it's happening and if things don't work out the way you want them to, you'll assess them frankly. If you didn't play as well as you could have done then you'll admit the mistake. You know that it's only by acknowledging your weaknesses that you become stronger. You think a lot about how you play. Great ideas for your strategy hit you when you're in the shower or driving along the road. You know the value of preparation but you also know that it's never possible to predict exactly what's going to happen in a game. If things aren't working out quite how you expect them to, you think on your feet, changing your calculations until it all adds up. You're by nature a defensive player. You believe in taking measured and carefully reasoned out moves rather than piling everything in for a big attack as soon as the game begins. You're not a big risk-taker. As far as you're concerned laying everything on the line to take a chance is a sign of weakness. There's no need to risk jeopardising everything when you have everything under control. We say: When it comes to thinking things out before a game and thinking on your feet during it, nobody does it better. It's impressive how you spend your time working on improving your game, studying strategy articles and thinking things through. Developing your person-watching skills will make you even better. You'll get advance warning about what your opponent's going to do by noticing his reactions to what he draws. Some people will pull some pretty smart tricks - chatting to you before the game to lull you into a false sense of security, talking to you during the game to get you where they want you. People like you who focus purely on the game are being genuine when they do this, but others may not be... Be ready for when you play against people like this - nobody can read you like a book, but Supercomputers run the risk of getting hacked.

Sliver Queen vs. Cranial Extraction

So, Ima gonna be a total asshole in this post to someone who was but a little boy and I am fully aware of that, but it is the one day of the year where I am allowed to be an asshole!

So, back in the golden year of 2004, when men were men and donkeys were chickens and all of the girls smelled like cream cheese, young Tommy opened a cranial extraction, the hot chase rare of the current set valued at at $20 (how quaint!). A few weeks later, I wanted to trade this cranial extraction to a weird guy who drank too much caffeine and lived in a trailer in Hillsborough with magic cards covering the floor of every room (He would later go on to film himself comboing off with dragon storm on some little kid and throwing the card in his face). Tommy, however, refused to let me make this trade because he wanted to hold on to his cranial extraction even though I new cranial extraction was a card that would drop once it rotated out of standard, while Sliver Queen would continue to rise as slivers would always be popular until the end of time or the length of John Stamos's career, whichever comes first. I pleaded with him and he would not do it. If I remember correctly, I believe Tommy ended up trading the Cranial Extraction to Skippy for half of a root beer, a Mogg Flunkie and a dirty sock. I just want to point out that Cranial Extraction is currently valued at about $1 and Sliver Queen is currently valued at $42.

Sorry, Tomy. I'm done being self righteous and I'm sure Emperor Cladius has a special place in purgatory for people like me. You are now allowed to rub jam in my shoes and put bananas under my pillow at some time when I am not paying attention. Also, Philville will offer you political asylum if you ever are force to flee from your home country because your government decrees that you are legally obligated to eat a stick of deodorant.

Top 10 Dragon's Maze Cards for Commander, Part 2

5. Sire of Insanity

Sire of Insanity will steal your lunch money and then use it to buy pornography and sneak the pornography in your locker and tip off the principal so you will get suspended and your mom will take away your Playstation. He is a jerk with the Midas touch and he does not fuck around. There is not waiting until he dies or until your next upkeep. No, he makes everyone lose their hand immediately while leaving his beefy body around to bully all the utility creatures on the board. Sire really punishes slower decks and if you are able to accelerate him out early could be quite devastation at bringing the game to a standstill while everyone is in top deck mode. Granted if people are playing graveyard recursion you might end up helping them more than hurting them, but you can always play graveyard recursion yourself or be packing a fair amount of graveyard hate. He is powerful and in the right situation can net you a huge amount of card advantage, but expect for your opponents to be unhappy if you play with him.

4. Master of Cruelties

If Sire of Insanity is the school's worst bully, then Master of Cruelties is the kid that he is afraid of. Master of Cruelities is that kid that is lighting matches in the hallway and always talking about how he loves the smell of fire. He has never shared in his life, not even in Kindergarten, he has no concern for the well-being or feelings of others and his sole motivation in life is causing destruction. You have no doubts in your mind that he will end up in prison before the age of 18. Voracious Cobra is already quite a potent card in EDH at scaring away opposing attackers or getting in for damage  and this is a powerful upgrade for only one mana more. Except for a small subset of creatures like other first strikers or indestructible creatures, Master of Cruelties will be able to kill anything in combat and survive, yet it is essential for your opponents to throw their creatures away and block because they will often be taking 20+ damage from one hit from this guy. Being at 1 in a multiplayer game is one of the worst strategic positions you can be in since it makes you so vulnerable and forces you to play defensively to keep yourself alive. And lord have mercy if you equip a whispersilk cloak to him. Despite being a jerk of the highest magnitude and putting a huge target on your head, Master of Cruelties is insanely powerful and probably worth the risk.

3. Teysa, Envoy of Ghosts

Full disclosure: I have built a Teysa deck that was inspired by my Zuberica deck and although it a bit of a good stuff deck and still needs some work, I'm already quite happy with its power level and fun factor. Although since seven mana is a steep price to pay for a general, Teysa might be better as an inclusion in your 99 cards than as your commander, but I think she still has a lot of potential as a general. Also, despite having the built in protection from creatures which is an awesome ability to have on a commander, it is unfortunate to have Teysa killed by a wrath or spot removal right after you play her and then have to get up to 9 mana to recast her in colors that don't have much ramp. However, if Teysa does stick around she is amazing at stabilizing your board and discouraging people from attacking you. She can already block about any ground creature and live but also kills any creatures that do get through to you. Who will want to attack into Teysa and lose all their creatures unless they can kill you that turn? Meanwhile since your defenses are built up you can still be attacking with unblocked Teysa each turn and she wears equipment quite well. It is a rare card that can play defense so well, while also being a solid contributor on offense.

2. Pontiff of Blight

Extort is quite powerful in multiplayer and this is most powerful extort card from multiplayer that Wizards printed. Given a decent number of creatures on the board, this makes every spell you play have an exsanguinate kicker. All this damage and lifegain will add up quickly and allow you to play defense with all of your creatures while draining everyone out turn after turn. This guy might seem unassuming, but, in most cases, is one of those creatures you have to kill right after it hits the board if you don't want that player to run away with the game.

1. Debt to the Deathless

Exsanuinate 2.0. Yes, please. Sure it is much slower and more mana intensive, but once you hit seven mana this is simply better for the price than exsanuinate and the upside just gets better and better from there. From the fact that it plays so well with extort and that it simultaneously helps you kill your opponents while gaining you so much life, I expect this card to see a lot of play as a finisher in grindy, long-game decks.

Honorable Mentions: 
Trostani's Summoner
Savageborn Hydra
Obzedat's Aid
Ready/Willing
Wear/Tear

Top 10 Dragon's Maze Cards for Commander

Now new and improved with (hopefully) 100% fewer silly mistakes, my top ten commander list is back with Dragon's Maze to make your day 110% more exciting.

10. Zhur-Taa Ancient

While he does come with his risks, Zhur-Taa Ancient is a sizeable body for only 5 mana. Seven power is nothing to sneeze at, allowing him to command some decent board presence. However, the real reason this old guy with the huge neck makes it on the list is his mana doubling ability. At first glance, doubling everyone's mana at the table might seem like it is putting you at a massive disadvantage since all of your opponents get access to double the mana before you do. Yet, they will not necessarily be using all of that mana to go after you, especially if there is someone more powerful at the table and in the right position it can be an excellent way to boost certain players at the table to accelerate their board presence or pull off a massive fireball to catch up with a player who is running away with the game. Also, since he is only 5 mana, later in the game, you could easily be able to play him and some other meaningful spells within the same turn. In fact, if you build your deck correctly, you should be able to take advantage of his effect better than anyone else at the table because you are playing mana ramp and/or awesome X spells like genesis wave. His biggest downside that stops him from being higher on the list is the Hunted Wumpus effect (where someone just drops a nekrataal to kill it when his enter the battlefield ability triggers) since one of your opponents could  play some huge creature and then have mana left over to throw a STP at the ancient.

9. Ruric Thar, the Unbowed

At number 9, Gruul slams in there with another explosively game-changing, if awkward beater in Ruric Thar. Ruric has a potent combination of abilities with vigilance, reach and most importantly dealing 6 damage to a player whenever they cast a noncreature spell. The last ability will vary greatly in power; it will completely hose some decks and do almost nothing against creature heavy decks. It's hard to believe that any player who will be messed up by this card will not want to kill it as soon as possible taking six damage in the process to avoid much more later. However, it is a great way to give an aggressive deck more reach, since it punishes your enemies for clearing the board or countering your kill spells to stay alive and they are in real trouble if they are at 6 or less life. Yet, despite its aggressive pedigree, it still serves as an excellent blocker, killing or trading with all but the most massive fliers in commander. His biggest downside is the fact that he has to attack every turn. Sure, the vigilance helps mitigate some of this downside, but the truth is that sometimes the board will be so clogged where anyone he attacks will kill him and that is just terrible to lose an impressive creature for no reason. I guess Wizards wanted to emphasize the recklessness of Gruul this time around with these two.

8. Progenitor Mimic

Like all clone effects, Progenitor Mimic takes a big hit in commander from the new legendary rules changes. Not being able to take out any commander despite hexproof or other shenanigans, makes clones much less flexible. However, repeatedly copying the best nonlegendary creature (even if it has hexproof on the board is an ability that can carry the game away post haste. Imagine the mimic copying Terrastodon or Simic Sky Swallower every turn. The mimics biggest downside is it needs time to start working. If somebody wraths or if you are under a lot of pressure, it is not the best creature to be playing, but in games where you can get him to stick around for multiple turns in a row gaining you massive board presence or card advantage in the process, there are few better creatures.

7. Melek, Izzet Paragon

Melek is a fun, build-around general unlike any of the other Izzet generals in that he isn't overpowered and annoying like Jhoira of the Ghitu, screaming for infinite combos like Niv-Mizzet, the Firemind or absurdly underpowered like Tibor and Lumia. Playing with all the most powerful instants and sorceries and finally having a general that supports those cool instant/sorcery cards like Sphinx-Bone Wand seems like a blast and a deck that would play differently that your average commander deck. Melek is one of those rare cards that feels like he hits a home run for both Timmy and Johnny and I'd expect to see a lot of him at kitchen tables for years to come.

6. Tajic, Blade of the Legion

From the piddliest of 0/1 to overcosted 3/3s, any creature that has indestructability has to be on your radar for commander playability. Darksteel Gargoyle is a French vanilla creature that costs 3 more mana than he would without indestructability but he is still a servicable addition to commander decks. So when I saw a legendary indestructable rare with an explosive ability in the same vein as Konda but much cheaper, I wet pants a little bit. Sure if you are unable to get batallion to trigger he is little better than the likes of Darksteel Gargoyle (although any general that is hard to kill deserves consideration in voltron strategies), but unblocked his batallion ability makes him a three turn clock. Cramming your deck full of the best voltron equipment, holy mantle effects and evasive utility creatures and beaters to trigger batallion (hello Soltari Guerillas) will make a fun aggressive deck. Sure, you have to jump through a few hoops to make him as effective as possible, but having built in protection makes your strategy much more resilient to much of the removal played in commander.

Check back soon for the top 5.

Shandalar Speculation

So I know you have been intrigued by the cycle of rings in M13 that are said to come from the plane of Shandalar along with Onakkee Catacomb from the recent Planechase set . . . 

and the flavor text on Talrand's Invocation. 

Why would Wizards randomly be referencing Shandalar in one of its core sets? Surely Gleemax must have some sort of master plan for which this is a teaser. Why remind us of this plane from a nearly forgotten computer game of the late 90s without some kind of purpose? It isn't as if this world had many defining features or emotional resonance aside from being part of a fun game.

Over the months, my curiosity had faded from hearing all of these references last summer, but then I heard this question from a Q & A panel with R & D at PAX East. While they don't say anything specifically about Shandalar, the vision they have for making magic more accessible to those who aren't connected to other magic players seems like it would be fit perfectly with a remake of the original Microprose Magic the Gathering game from 1997.

Duels of the Planeswalkers is fun, but limited since you cannot do much in the way of deckbuilding, playing other humans, and are to a few cards. It has served it's purpose well of attracting former magic players back into the game by tantalizing them with Sengir Vampires, Serra Angels, and these crazy new planeswalker thingies, but it doesn't approach the level of fun and engagement that Shandalar had, where you are existing in a fleshed out world, free to explore collecting better cards for your deck along the way.

Creating a new Shandalar game would be an excellent way to attract other gamers into Magic who don't have the social network to suck them into the game. Maybe they will even make a paper set in the Shandalar world and then translate all of the cards over into the game world as well. Or they could continue to explore what a few of the cards in the original game did and focus on cards that can do things only possible with a computer. 

As evident by the pathetic AI and huge handicaps required, I'm sure one of the biggest challenges to such a game would be to program a wide variety of cards to work properly under the rules and have the computer understand how to use them properly and strategically. However, Wizards has been able to achieve this on a smaller scale with Duels of the Planeswalkers and who's to say that given the amount of money they could stand to make by expanding their player base as well as interesting most current magic players that they might be throwing a lot of resources into making this happen.

Revisiting My Fearless Magic Predictions

Back three years ago, I made a series of magic-related predictions. Now let's check back in to see how many of them I correctly predicted to see if I am secretly Nostradamus in disguise (also you guys promised me a bucket of fried chicken if I got at least 4 correct).

1. Swords to Plowshares will be reprinted in the next three years. - INCORRECT
So it seems that Wizards feels that Path to Exile is about the high water mark of power for this level of effect. Maybe they have concerns about this and Path coexisting in modern or maybe they feel it would be too dominating in standard. I want to say I heard Mark Rosewater talk about the flavor of STP causing a creature to starting farming was out of the context of how wizards designed the way that white flavor-fully deals with creatures.

2. Control Magic will be reprinted in the next three years. - INCORRECT
This one I'm now pretty sure is not going to happen. Control Magic has a completely realistic power level for standard and is such a great simple cards with lots of complexity under the surface. However, someone at Wizards has stated that creature stealing effects without a downside are simply too powerful to show up at uncommon for drafting purposes. The control magic variants they have done in the last three years have all been significantly less powerful and Soul's Ransom might set a precident that the effect will be moved to higher rarities. If this is the case, Control Magic doesn't feel rare and would probably just disappoint many people if it was printed as a rare.

3. Stone Rain will not be reprinted within the next three years. - CORRECT
This one seems pretty obvious looking back now. Wizards has been trying to encourage new players to get hooked on magic by trying to create a better experience for more inexperienced players. Mechanics like discard, counterspells and land destruction all lead to players having few choices and less ability to interact with their opponents. What makes magic fun for most players are these complicated decisions and the interactions between cards. Stone rain, especially with the existence of mana dorks, is simply too powerful and inspires too many people to rage quit for it to be coming back any time soon.

4. Scars of Mirrodin will have little in common with Mirrodin Block. - CORRECT
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this one is correct, although I didn't really define it very well to begin with. Scars was much more about the Phyrexians and their infect ability than anything else. Sure the metalcraft and imprint mechanics had some powerful and interesting cards, but the block had no overpowered artifact synergies like affinity and ended up being more tangentially about artifacts as compared to the original Mirrodin block. Since Wizards starting using the story to drive the flavor of their sets more starting with this block, so flavorfully this block returned to a lot of the same elements in the first block to check in with how they had changed, the more nuanced answer might be that mechanically this statement is true but flavorfully this statement is false.

5. Dan will start playing magic again in the next three years. - INCORRECT
Dan, much like the legendary sasquash, has only been heard of through the eyewitness reports of those who think they might have seen him in the Food Lion parking lot or possibly driving past, but nothing has been confirmed. No one can really be certain what this giggly beast is up too, but one thing is for certain, he is probably high right now.

My You Make the Card Submission

"Zombie Outbreak"

Black Enchantment

Zombies you control have deathtouch.

Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies from damage dealt by a zombie you control, you may put that creature onto the battlefield under your control. It is a black zombie in addition to its other creature types.

The Top 10 Gatecrash Cards for Commander - Part 2

 5. Gruul Ragebeast

While this card might not be quite as powerful as Warstorm Surge since it can’t deal damage to players and is more vulnerable to destruction, it should be an all-star at picking off all those annoying creatures your opponents have one by one. It starts killing creatures right away when it comes into play and only gets better from there, like an Aura Shards for your creatures. It seems that if this guy remains unanswered for long enough, you should be able to maintain a strong board advantage.

4. Sepulchral Primordial

Want an instant army and Grave titan simply doesn’t give you big enough creatures? Sepulchral Primordial is your man/woman/mossy robot thing. Early game this card is a little weak in that you want to make sure there are some solid threats in the graveyard before casting it, so this card will probably be best with grindy generals that use lots of graveyard recursion like Karador. However, in almost any game that goes on long enough without a ton of repeated graveyard disruption, you’ll be happy to cast this guy. Even getting a few value creatures like Solemn Simulacrum or Trinket Mage from each person graveyard will be more than worth it and it only gets more insane from there.

3. Prime Speaker Zegana

Another home run general that rewards you with massive card advantage for playing a bunch of creatures and specifically big ones. With the right deck, she is capable of being both huge card advantage and a legitimate voltron threat. She is a game-ender in her own right, but unlike many generals, if they kill her it really isn’t that bad because you have just reloaded by drawing a bunch of cards. She works best with a creature with 4+ power and gets really crazy with something as big as Terrastodon on the board. Often holding her back to play her later in the game could be an asset since you will avoid the first round of wrath effects that typically take out people’s first time playing their generals. With the huge amount of card advantage she can provide, many decks in these colors trying to win with creatures will be playing Zegana. 

2. Sylvan Primordial

So let me get this straight: Whereas Terastodon destroys 3 noncreature permanents and gives my opponents 3 elephants, Sylvan Primordial destroys multiple noncreature permanents and lets me search up forests?!? Granted it is a smaller body and 6 power for 7 mana is pretty underwhelming, but the reach is not something to be overlooked, since many generals and many of the best creatures in the format have flying. Green just lost some power with the banning of Primeval Titan, and while this is no Prime Time, it is close. Expect to be seeing this card a lot.

1. Aurelia, the Warleader

Aurelia is a tremendous commander that pushes aggro in commander in all the right ways, encouraging you to play tons of creatures and equipment and attack for tons of damage every turn. Combining her with double strike creatures, creatures with triggers when the attack or deal damage to an opponent, lifelink creatures, or even just big creatures should win you the game quickly. The fact that she has haste and a fairly low mana cost really makes her shine as a general by continually staying aggressive. Outside of that, she fits right in with any aggressive creature strategy and it is great to see red/white, what has often been considered to be the worst color combination in commander, getting some love.

The Top 10 Gatecrash Cards for Commander - Part 1

10. Illusionist’s Bracers

So many commanders will love this card (hello Kiki-Jiki!). While this is less global, this card will often be better than the widely played Ring of Brightheart, since you mostly want to reuse an ability on your general and this doesn’t require the continuous mana investment. Outside of these more spikey applications, I’m sure there are all sorts of interesting Johnny interactions that can be done with this card as well.

9. Luminate Primordial

Luminate Primordial is not the biggest or splashiest of the primordial cycle (and vigilance on this kind of body is pretty lame compared to the others), but she/he/it is a workhorse that will help you maintain control of the board without ever complaining about having to work late without overtime. Like Swords to Plowshares, the life gain is pretty inconsequential as a trade off for being able to exile each of your opponents’ best creatures. Hexproof might often make life a little harder on this guy, but Luminate is in one of the best colors for blink effects and graveyard reanimation and using it multiple times could get out of hand quickly.

8. Giant Adephage

I always thought Spawnwrithe was a ton of fun, but hard to get to work with its measly power and toughness. Giant Adephage fixes that problem while still keeping the trample. The great thing about this kind of creature in commander is that all it has to do is get through to one player and it will grow exponentially. Rarely is there a time when each of your opponents can completely block a 7/7 trampler and, given a few attack phases, which sometimes can be a lot to ask, he will overwhelm your opponents. For a good time pair him with Aurelia in a white wine sauce!

7. Crypt Ghast

I’m not sure how powerful extort will be in commander especially on a creature that attracts as much attention as this guy, but over time it could be great in multiples and benefits from the extra mana Crypt Ghast gives you. However, the real reason anyone would play this card is its ability to double your mana in a mono-black deck. There are certainly other effects like this for artifacts (caged sun) and black (cabal coffers), but, while it might not be the most novel card on the list, another one is certainly welcome when it can help you get to a game winning exsanguinate.

6. Hellkite Tyrant

I’m not so sure the alternate win condition on this card is feasible, but it would be fun to try and possibly in the right kind of quirky deck it could work with some consistency. However, if you just ignore that part of the card, this card can provide you an insane amount of extra mana and value. Imagine how many signets, darksteel ingots and sol rings you could confiscate with this guy, not even mentioning equipment, artifact creatures or other random artifacts. His biggest downsides are that he does provide your opponents a full turn to react to him and 5 toughness is hardly that impressive, but if you can get even one hit in with this guy you get to keep all those artifacts for the rest of the game. Against many decks, his first few attacks this will ramp you as much as primeval titan would. And who wouldn’t love to rip that lightning greaves or darksteel plate right off that annoying general?

Tune in for the top 5 soon . . .

The Zombie Horde

Here is my first draft of the zombie horde that I have put together in physical form for you evaluation.

2 Noxious Ghoul
1 Army of the Damned
1 Endless Ranks of the Dead
1 Unbreathing Horde
2 Dross Crocodile
1 Twilight's Call
1 Undead Warchief
1 Skulking Knight
2 Severed Legion
1 Death Baron
4 Cackling Fiend
1 Carrion Wurm
3 Maggot Carrier
1 Fleshbag Marauder
2 Vengeful Dead
2 Soulless One
2 Delirium Skeins
2 Infectious Horror
2 Nested Ghoul
1 Yixlid Jailer
1 Forsaken Wastes
2 Syphon Flesh
2 Bad Moon
1 Plague Wind
1 Call to the Grave
5 Zombie Giant Tokens

55 Zombie token card

Multiplayer Cube

So, I have been working on a pauper cube that will be mostly for one-v-one drafting, which I have almost completed and will post here for comments once I have it done and entered in cockatrice. I have been enjoying making this cube and was thinking it would be great if we could make a cube to draft for our favorite format: Chaos Multiplayer. It seems to me that a well made multiplayer cube with all cards chosen specifically because they would work well in multiplayer could be a ton of fun, allow us to play with cards we wouldn't usually play with and shake up the way our games work a bit.

I don't want to overload us with alternate formats, especially if I am the only one who thinks this sounds like fun, but I am really looking forward to constructing this. Similar to the craft of the lumberjack, it is like creating a work of art.

So, here are my ideas for some different possible themes for a multiplayer cube:

1. Mono-green with lots of acceleration, big creatures and token generation
2. Big creatures+pump spells+auras and limited (possibly no?) creature removal
3. Tons of chaos cards (Goblin Game, Shared Fate, Coin Flip Cards, etc.)
4. A Mill-centric cube, where all the cards revolve around milling
5. A (more traditional and probably boring) power cube that takes all the most powerful multiplayer cards and throws them together

What do you guys think? Do you have any other ideas for cube themes?

Horde Magic

I don't know if you guys saw this already, but it looked like a cool alternative format to try out. I was thinking of creating a deck for it, if you all would be interested in playing it. Whaddayathink?

http://www.quietspeculation.com/2011/09/horde-magic-a-new-way-to-play-magic-and-survive-zombie-invasions/

My Top Ten Favorite Magic Cards #1

I doubt anyone had any doubts that Kiki Jiki would top the list. When I first started playing Friday Night Magic, I built a kick ass standard deck around this guy based on a weird anti-affinity list that won a random tournament. I have such great memories play it, meeting Adam, Ken, dragon shirt guy, Calvin, JD, and Thad and cutting my teeth as a tournament player. I loved how the deck was powerful with it's comes into play creatures like eternal witness and also played such quirky cards like Rootrunner. After Kiki Jiki rotated out of standard, I had to keep a Kiki-Jiki deck together and it got even more sick with a greater card pool.

Even aside from the amazing synergy this card has with Eternal Witness, Kiki-Jiki is a steamroller of card advantage that left unchecked will overwhelm opponents quickly. Sure, it's triple red casting cost, small power and toughness, and legendary status are downsides, it's because this card would be bonkers if it were any better. With haste, it's already impossible to avoid getting knocked around by it even if you do have instant speed destruction. And then it has such incredible resilience with creatures that return cards from your graveyard to help ensure that Kiki-Jiki will stay on the board to outlast all of the destruction your opponent can throw at it. The only real way to stop it is eradicate. Damn you, Tommy!

Honorable Mentions


Ulamog, the Infinite Gyre - One of the most ridiculous multiplayer creatures ever printed. You have to love Rise of Eldrazi for shit like this.


Stalking Yeti - Another critical cog of the babykiller deck and another one of those cards that people always had to read. It may be the poor man's flametongue kavu, but it's also a freaking yeti that is always checking your Facebook page.


Flametongue Kavu - Or maybe Flametongue Kavu is the rich man's Stalking Yeti. Bling Bling. Stop reading this blog immediately and raise the roof for Flametongue Kavu. Thank you.


Sakura-Tribe Elder - So critical for almost any deck playing green. The most versatile and powerful modern ramp card.

Sacred Mesa - Pony Crater is such a great thing to do with all that mana that control and multiplayer decks accumulate and it's so good against mass removal. What's not to love.


Thousand-year Elixir - A tricky, but fun build around card. Really enhances creatures with right kind of abilities.


Ensnaring Bridge - I had to have at least a shout out to the discard deck and this may be the most hated card from that deck. Back in the day when all we played with were creatures and creature removal, this deck would completely shut down the game. If only Alex can draw his one disenchant . . .


Ink-eyes, Servant of Oni - Isn't it so much fun to ninjutsu this guy into play returning a white Myojin to reset its divinity counter and being able to pull a woodfall primus from the opponent's graveyard?

My Top Ten Favorite Magic Cards #2

Zuberas, O, Zuberas! How my brain emits euphoria at the sight of your eyeless faces?
Zuberas, O, Zuberas! My lions do feel tender in your presence like a Christmas ham glistening in cherry glaze!
Zuberas, O, Zuberas! What majesty will you have in store for me in my next game?

Will you draw me many cards? Will you gain me much life? Will you destroy my opponents hands?
How I delight at the possibilities! How I love to collect you, to count you, to destroy you at my own hands!
You have been made to live and multiply for the sole purpose of my amusement and card advantage!

Countless pundits, talking heads hiding behind their sharpened Jittes and trusty Tarmogoyfs, have dismissed you, even mocked you as, "useless, boring, lame." Others have ignored you shoved away behind stacks of benalish heroes and chub toads, forgotten in an abyss of terrible cards.

O, Zuberas! How have such noble creatures be forced to such a cruel fate! You and I know you belong in between protective sleeves, you belong alongside Akroma and Ink-Eyes and Konda, you belong on the battlefield with your breathern, ready to head to you demise at a moment's notice! You belong in Zubera, a land of opportunity, prosperity and hope, a land where men are whiskers and women are compact discs, a land where you are beautiful in its multiple red suns and free to roam its cheese-covered groves, a land called Zuberica, the only land for me!