Showing posts with label Frank Zappa died waaay before his time I think we need his type of sentiments around today. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Frank Zappa died waaay before his time I think we need his type of sentiments around today. Show all posts

Monday, August 6, 2012

My Book Review on Spoken from the Heart by Laura Bush


Since I have now completed reading the world-wind thrilling romantic adventure with an Arabic twist that is Spoken from the Heart by Laura Bush, I thought I would share my thoughts with all of you fine people on the internet. First off, I don't know how much I believe the part where Laura Bush wrested an alligator to the bottom of a resivoir in order to save one of the Bush twins at the San Diego zoo. Sure anyone with half a brain can tell that there is something malicious hidden behind Bush's lipsticked smile, but she is certainly no mama grizzly, probably more like a crazy aunt proquipine. Also, the part where Laura Bush infiltrated Area 51 to get information about alien space crafts that George kept seeing appear over the white house and threaten to shove pretzels down his throat was a captivating read, but I have to question how anyone wearing a collar that large would be able to slip passed security guards unseen. Finally, when Laura Bush says that George has a larger penis than any foreign leader, you have to wonder if she is just pandering to the Big Penis Conservative movement who believe we should always elect the American with the largest penis to the presidency. Ultimately, Laura Bush's autobiography is spoken more from the lymph nodes or maybe the pancreas on a good day, but certainly not the heart.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Tommy Fesses up to the Nation

Hey I'd like to take this opportunity to fess up to the nation. I apologize if interacting with me does not lead you to witnessing either tits or explosions and I am taking steps to remedy this situation. I am reoutfitting my wardrobe with clothing courtesy of Strictly from Commercial and buffing up to increase my sex apeal. Please pay attention to me and claim to love me now. Thank You and God Bless America (which reminds me I haven't been to church since 1989, Hope my pastor's not pissed.) TEW out!

(this message is dedicated to the loving memory of Frank Zappa. Don't eat that yellow snow kids!)