Disturbing Email

I have found out something more disturbing than the email where Obama says the hardest thing about his presidency is not being able to go out to a local store or restaurant and have a calm and quiet time of it(WRONG he's supposed to say what Reagan and Bush Sr. said and say the hardest thing was for him to send our boys to defend America from that camel fucker in Iraq. How DARE he express what he sincerely thinks. Selfish ASSHOLE.)

I have hacked into the president's email and found this:

Evil Monkeyman Dictatorship -BBBRRR
Enchantment -American
When this card comes into play,
destroy all players FREEDOM and LIBERTY and
put a 3/8 Black Red Evil Monkey President token into play
that says this creature doesn't give a shit about the rules.
FREEDOM OF SPEECH now means NOTHING.
Players may only continue to play with you if they feed you
arugula or LIES.
Sacrifice if a REAL man is in your presence.
"Mr. President, Grow some BALLS!"
-Joe Six-Pack, a REAL American man

This means only one thing: I HAVEN'T PRAYED
TO BABY JESUS HARD ENOUGH TO BRING RONALD REAGAN
DOWN FROM HEAVEN TO SET THINGS RIGHT IN THE WORLD.
CLEARLY OBAMA IS THE DRUNKEN WHORE IN THE WILDERNESS
IN THE BOOK OF REVELATION. ANY OTHER INTERPRETATIONS
ARE SNAKE OIL SALESMEN LIES.

On an unrelated note, anyone down for Bingo at SOME point. I REALLY want to play. It HAS been ages since my LAST game of Bingo.