The year is 1267 and an advanced alien race has declared war on humanity to deplete the earth of its natural resources and leave it like a waded burger king bag on the side of the road. The aliens main weaponry consists of a mass distraction device called the serotonin thunderdome, a massive screen displaying images and playing sounds that stimulate the pleasure centers in the human brain, making all humans unwilling to do anything but sit and stare at the screen while they die of starvation. American Indians and Europeans, who are unaware of one another’s existence, all sit side by side in arm chairs, trapped in their own ecstasy inside the alien spaceships hovering around earth (Leaf Erikson was a myth made up by the sasquatch community). For some reason on the aboriginal Australians are the only ones immune to the serotonin thunderdome and therefore must fight the intelligent, but physically weak alien race on their own, until . . .
The Singing Postman arrives in his time machine possessing advanced human technology from the year 1974.Will the aliens be mesmerized by his amazing songs about world peace and express mail? Will the Singing Postman fall in love with the daughter of the leader of the alien race because the corporations backing the multi-million dollar movie production demanded the movie become more accessible?Who will deliver Martha Filburn’s homemade cookies to her grandson at 305 Grandwood Lane while the Singing Postman is living in the past.
The course of human history changes this summer 2011.
Alright, here are my cards for your challenges thus far (most of them anyway). Some of them might be too unnecessarily complicated, but I'm ready forthe next round.
Design a card while in 0 Gravity. The Vomit Comet will work but you'll get extra points for actually sneaking onto the space shuttle before it launches.
Fire Spew – 1R
Instant - Uncommon
Fire Spew deals 2 damage to target creature or player. Remove Fire Spew from the game with three vomit counters. During your upkeep, remove a vomit counter and deal one damage to target player. When the last vomit counter is removed, put Fire Spew into your graveyard.
Have a monkey, cat, or elephant paint you a picture and design your card around it.
Peanut Heaven
Land – Rare
Tap: Add one colorless mana to your mana pool.
W, Tap: Target player gains one life.
2G, Tap: Target creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn.
Write down a card design while driving a car. (No cruise control)
Tailgating Sports Car – 3WR
Creature-Hot Rod-Uncommon
Haste, When Tailgating Sports Car comes into play tap target creature. That creature does not uptap during its controllers next untap phase.
3/2
Come up with a card design immediately after waking up.
Endless Freefall – 3B
Sorcery-Common
Remove target non-artifact from the game.
Go Super Sayian and fight and beat Freiza thus saving the planet Namek from imminent destruction. Then design a card.
Cute Bunny Rabbit-1W
Creature-Beast-Uncommon
During your upkeep, gain 5 life.
When you attack, block or play a creature spell, sacrifice Cute Bunny Rabbit.
0/1
Design a card that encapsulates the feel of a nuclear apocalypse (ya know the one Barrack Obama is planning).
Secret Muslim Arugula Coup – 5BR
Sorcery – Rare
Each player sacrifices 5 lands, discards 5 cards and sacrifices 5 creatures.
Design a drawback mechanic based off of the idea of addiction or drunkenness. The card's abilities don't necessarily have to worsen as the creature get more wasted.
Drunken Stupor - 1R
Enchantment- Aura - Uncommon
Creature aura
At the beginning of your upkeep, put an alcohol counter on target creature. That creature gets +2/+2 for each alcohol counter on it. Sacrifice that creature if it has 5 or more alcohol counters.
Design some sort fixed card from the power nine (or anything broken from the early days of magic, I'm thinking type 1 shit).
Tolarian School for the Blind
Land – Mythic Rare
Tolarian School for the Blind comes into play tapped.
Tap: Add U to your mana pool for each artifact you control. Play this ability only if you control an equipment.
Come up with a new way to prevent card disadvantage inherent in creature enchantments.
Eternalize
Enchantment-Aura-Rare
Creature Aura
Target creature gets +3/+3 and has flying.
If Eternalize is in your graveyard, you may pay 3WW to return it to your hand. Use this ability only during your upkeep.
2: Plainscycling
Eat 6 burritos before bed. Wake up and design a Spanish flavored set.
Too Many Tacos - R
Instant-Common
Target attacking creature an opponent controls gets +3/+0, haste, and trample until end of your. Destroy that creature at the end of combat.
Design the next blue planeswalker so that it is not overshadowed by Jace the Mindsculpter AND not completely broken. & Create a new "Solemn Simulacrum" based on Randy Buehler's sexy attributes.
Randy Buehler, God of All the Land - 1UUG
Planeswalker – Mythic Rare
+1: Target creature gets -4/-0 until your next upkeep.
-2: Draw two cards.
-7: Search your library for up to three creatures and/or artifacts and put them into play.
3
Get Joey drunk with Rum and sit him in front of MS Paint for 3 hours. Design cards based on artwork from this session.
Alien/Yeti Spaceship – 5UU
Creature – Beast-Mythic Rare
Flying
When Alien/Yeti Spaceship comes into play, target opponent must search your library for one creature card. Put the chosen creature card into your hand and shuffle your library.
