Top 10 Prettiest Ponies

Welcome to this year's top ten list: The Top Ten Prettiest Ponies!!

Each pony is presented without explanation, since its individual prettiness has been well documented in other places and should be entirely self evident. If you are unable to recognize the indisputable prettiness of any of these ponies, then you are severely lacking in the friendship department and should immediately seek the help of a motivational speaker who can help you understand the true magic of friendship.

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Top 10 Dragon's Maze Cards for Commander, Part 2

5. Sire of Insanity

Sire of Insanity will steal your lunch money and then use it to buy pornography and sneak the pornography in your locker and tip off the principal so you will get suspended and your mom will take away your Playstation. He is a jerk with the Midas touch and he does not fuck around. There is not waiting until he dies or until your next upkeep. No, he makes everyone lose their hand immediately while leaving his beefy body around to bully all the utility creatures on the board. Sire really punishes slower decks and if you are able to accelerate him out early could be quite devastation at bringing the game to a standstill while everyone is in top deck mode. Granted if people are playing graveyard recursion you might end up helping them more than hurting them, but you can always play graveyard recursion yourself or be packing a fair amount of graveyard hate. He is powerful and in the right situation can net you a huge amount of card advantage, but expect for your opponents to be unhappy if you play with him.

4. Master of Cruelties

If Sire of Insanity is the school's worst bully, then Master of Cruelties is the kid that he is afraid of. Master of Cruelities is that kid that is lighting matches in the hallway and always talking about how he loves the smell of fire. He has never shared in his life, not even in Kindergarten, he has no concern for the well-being or feelings of others and his sole motivation in life is causing destruction. You have no doubts in your mind that he will end up in prison before the age of 18. Voracious Cobra is already quite a potent card in EDH at scaring away opposing attackers or getting in for damage  and this is a powerful upgrade for only one mana more. Except for a small subset of creatures like other first strikers or indestructible creatures, Master of Cruelties will be able to kill anything in combat and survive, yet it is essential for your opponents to throw their creatures away and block because they will often be taking 20+ damage from one hit from this guy. Being at 1 in a multiplayer game is one of the worst strategic positions you can be in since it makes you so vulnerable and forces you to play defensively to keep yourself alive. And lord have mercy if you equip a whispersilk cloak to him. Despite being a jerk of the highest magnitude and putting a huge target on your head, Master of Cruelties is insanely powerful and probably worth the risk.

3. Teysa, Envoy of Ghosts

Full disclosure: I have built a Teysa deck that was inspired by my Zuberica deck and although it a bit of a good stuff deck and still needs some work, I'm already quite happy with its power level and fun factor. Although since seven mana is a steep price to pay for a general, Teysa might be better as an inclusion in your 99 cards than as your commander, but I think she still has a lot of potential as a general. Also, despite having the built in protection from creatures which is an awesome ability to have on a commander, it is unfortunate to have Teysa killed by a wrath or spot removal right after you play her and then have to get up to 9 mana to recast her in colors that don't have much ramp. However, if Teysa does stick around she is amazing at stabilizing your board and discouraging people from attacking you. She can already block about any ground creature and live but also kills any creatures that do get through to you. Who will want to attack into Teysa and lose all their creatures unless they can kill you that turn? Meanwhile since your defenses are built up you can still be attacking with unblocked Teysa each turn and she wears equipment quite well. It is a rare card that can play defense so well, while also being a solid contributor on offense.

2. Pontiff of Blight

Extort is quite powerful in multiplayer and this is most powerful extort card from multiplayer that Wizards printed. Given a decent number of creatures on the board, this makes every spell you play have an exsanguinate kicker. All this damage and lifegain will add up quickly and allow you to play defense with all of your creatures while draining everyone out turn after turn. This guy might seem unassuming, but, in most cases, is one of those creatures you have to kill right after it hits the board if you don't want that player to run away with the game.

1. Debt to the Deathless

Exsanuinate 2.0. Yes, please. Sure it is much slower and more mana intensive, but once you hit seven mana this is simply better for the price than exsanuinate and the upside just gets better and better from there. From the fact that it plays so well with extort and that it simultaneously helps you kill your opponents while gaining you so much life, I expect this card to see a lot of play as a finisher in grindy, long-game decks.

Honorable Mentions: 
Trostani's Summoner
Savageborn Hydra
Obzedat's Aid
Ready/Willing
Wear/Tear

Top 10 Dragon's Maze Cards for Commander

Now new and improved with (hopefully) 100% fewer silly mistakes, my top ten commander list is back with Dragon's Maze to make your day 110% more exciting.

10. Zhur-Taa Ancient

While he does come with his risks, Zhur-Taa Ancient is a sizeable body for only 5 mana. Seven power is nothing to sneeze at, allowing him to command some decent board presence. However, the real reason this old guy with the huge neck makes it on the list is his mana doubling ability. At first glance, doubling everyone's mana at the table might seem like it is putting you at a massive disadvantage since all of your opponents get access to double the mana before you do. Yet, they will not necessarily be using all of that mana to go after you, especially if there is someone more powerful at the table and in the right position it can be an excellent way to boost certain players at the table to accelerate their board presence or pull off a massive fireball to catch up with a player who is running away with the game. Also, since he is only 5 mana, later in the game, you could easily be able to play him and some other meaningful spells within the same turn. In fact, if you build your deck correctly, you should be able to take advantage of his effect better than anyone else at the table because you are playing mana ramp and/or awesome X spells like genesis wave. His biggest downside that stops him from being higher on the list is the Hunted Wumpus effect (where someone just drops a nekrataal to kill it when his enter the battlefield ability triggers) since one of your opponents could  play some huge creature and then have mana left over to throw a STP at the ancient.

9. Ruric Thar, the Unbowed

At number 9, Gruul slams in there with another explosively game-changing, if awkward beater in Ruric Thar. Ruric has a potent combination of abilities with vigilance, reach and most importantly dealing 6 damage to a player whenever they cast a noncreature spell. The last ability will vary greatly in power; it will completely hose some decks and do almost nothing against creature heavy decks. It's hard to believe that any player who will be messed up by this card will not want to kill it as soon as possible taking six damage in the process to avoid much more later. However, it is a great way to give an aggressive deck more reach, since it punishes your enemies for clearing the board or countering your kill spells to stay alive and they are in real trouble if they are at 6 or less life. Yet, despite its aggressive pedigree, it still serves as an excellent blocker, killing or trading with all but the most massive fliers in commander. His biggest downside is the fact that he has to attack every turn. Sure, the vigilance helps mitigate some of this downside, but the truth is that sometimes the board will be so clogged where anyone he attacks will kill him and that is just terrible to lose an impressive creature for no reason. I guess Wizards wanted to emphasize the recklessness of Gruul this time around with these two.

8. Progenitor Mimic

Like all clone effects, Progenitor Mimic takes a big hit in commander from the new legendary rules changes. Not being able to take out any commander despite hexproof or other shenanigans, makes clones much less flexible. However, repeatedly copying the best nonlegendary creature (even if it has hexproof on the board is an ability that can carry the game away post haste. Imagine the mimic copying Terrastodon or Simic Sky Swallower every turn. The mimics biggest downside is it needs time to start working. If somebody wraths or if you are under a lot of pressure, it is not the best creature to be playing, but in games where you can get him to stick around for multiple turns in a row gaining you massive board presence or card advantage in the process, there are few better creatures.

7. Melek, Izzet Paragon

Melek is a fun, build-around general unlike any of the other Izzet generals in that he isn't overpowered and annoying like Jhoira of the Ghitu, screaming for infinite combos like Niv-Mizzet, the Firemind or absurdly underpowered like Tibor and Lumia. Playing with all the most powerful instants and sorceries and finally having a general that supports those cool instant/sorcery cards like Sphinx-Bone Wand seems like a blast and a deck that would play differently that your average commander deck. Melek is one of those rare cards that feels like he hits a home run for both Timmy and Johnny and I'd expect to see a lot of him at kitchen tables for years to come.

6. Tajic, Blade of the Legion

From the piddliest of 0/1 to overcosted 3/3s, any creature that has indestructability has to be on your radar for commander playability. Darksteel Gargoyle is a French vanilla creature that costs 3 more mana than he would without indestructability but he is still a servicable addition to commander decks. So when I saw a legendary indestructable rare with an explosive ability in the same vein as Konda but much cheaper, I wet pants a little bit. Sure if you are unable to get batallion to trigger he is little better than the likes of Darksteel Gargoyle (although any general that is hard to kill deserves consideration in voltron strategies), but unblocked his batallion ability makes him a three turn clock. Cramming your deck full of the best voltron equipment, holy mantle effects and evasive utility creatures and beaters to trigger batallion (hello Soltari Guerillas) will make a fun aggressive deck. Sure, you have to jump through a few hoops to make him as effective as possible, but having built in protection makes your strategy much more resilient to much of the removal played in commander.

Check back soon for the top 5.

The Top 10 Gatecrash Cards for Commander - Part 2

 5. Gruul Ragebeast

While this card might not be quite as powerful as Warstorm Surge since it can’t deal damage to players and is more vulnerable to destruction, it should be an all-star at picking off all those annoying creatures your opponents have one by one. It starts killing creatures right away when it comes into play and only gets better from there, like an Aura Shards for your creatures. It seems that if this guy remains unanswered for long enough, you should be able to maintain a strong board advantage.

4. Sepulchral Primordial

Want an instant army and Grave titan simply doesn’t give you big enough creatures? Sepulchral Primordial is your man/woman/mossy robot thing. Early game this card is a little weak in that you want to make sure there are some solid threats in the graveyard before casting it, so this card will probably be best with grindy generals that use lots of graveyard recursion like Karador. However, in almost any game that goes on long enough without a ton of repeated graveyard disruption, you’ll be happy to cast this guy. Even getting a few value creatures like Solemn Simulacrum or Trinket Mage from each person graveyard will be more than worth it and it only gets more insane from there.

3. Prime Speaker Zegana

Another home run general that rewards you with massive card advantage for playing a bunch of creatures and specifically big ones. With the right deck, she is capable of being both huge card advantage and a legitimate voltron threat. She is a game-ender in her own right, but unlike many generals, if they kill her it really isn’t that bad because you have just reloaded by drawing a bunch of cards. She works best with a creature with 4+ power and gets really crazy with something as big as Terrastodon on the board. Often holding her back to play her later in the game could be an asset since you will avoid the first round of wrath effects that typically take out people’s first time playing their generals. With the huge amount of card advantage she can provide, many decks in these colors trying to win with creatures will be playing Zegana. 

2. Sylvan Primordial

So let me get this straight: Whereas Terastodon destroys 3 noncreature permanents and gives my opponents 3 elephants, Sylvan Primordial destroys multiple noncreature permanents and lets me search up forests?!? Granted it is a smaller body and 6 power for 7 mana is pretty underwhelming, but the reach is not something to be overlooked, since many generals and many of the best creatures in the format have flying. Green just lost some power with the banning of Primeval Titan, and while this is no Prime Time, it is close. Expect to be seeing this card a lot.

1. Aurelia, the Warleader

Aurelia is a tremendous commander that pushes aggro in commander in all the right ways, encouraging you to play tons of creatures and equipment and attack for tons of damage every turn. Combining her with double strike creatures, creatures with triggers when the attack or deal damage to an opponent, lifelink creatures, or even just big creatures should win you the game quickly. The fact that she has haste and a fairly low mana cost really makes her shine as a general by continually staying aggressive. Outside of that, she fits right in with any aggressive creature strategy and it is great to see red/white, what has often been considered to be the worst color combination in commander, getting some love.

The Top 10 Gatecrash Cards for Commander - Part 1

10. Illusionist’s Bracers

So many commanders will love this card (hello Kiki-Jiki!). While this is less global, this card will often be better than the widely played Ring of Brightheart, since you mostly want to reuse an ability on your general and this doesn’t require the continuous mana investment. Outside of these more spikey applications, I’m sure there are all sorts of interesting Johnny interactions that can be done with this card as well.

9. Luminate Primordial

Luminate Primordial is not the biggest or splashiest of the primordial cycle (and vigilance on this kind of body is pretty lame compared to the others), but she/he/it is a workhorse that will help you maintain control of the board without ever complaining about having to work late without overtime. Like Swords to Plowshares, the life gain is pretty inconsequential as a trade off for being able to exile each of your opponents’ best creatures. Hexproof might often make life a little harder on this guy, but Luminate is in one of the best colors for blink effects and graveyard reanimation and using it multiple times could get out of hand quickly.

8. Giant Adephage

I always thought Spawnwrithe was a ton of fun, but hard to get to work with its measly power and toughness. Giant Adephage fixes that problem while still keeping the trample. The great thing about this kind of creature in commander is that all it has to do is get through to one player and it will grow exponentially. Rarely is there a time when each of your opponents can completely block a 7/7 trampler and, given a few attack phases, which sometimes can be a lot to ask, he will overwhelm your opponents. For a good time pair him with Aurelia in a white wine sauce!

7. Crypt Ghast

I’m not sure how powerful extort will be in commander especially on a creature that attracts as much attention as this guy, but over time it could be great in multiples and benefits from the extra mana Crypt Ghast gives you. However, the real reason anyone would play this card is its ability to double your mana in a mono-black deck. There are certainly other effects like this for artifacts (caged sun) and black (cabal coffers), but, while it might not be the most novel card on the list, another one is certainly welcome when it can help you get to a game winning exsanguinate.

6. Hellkite Tyrant

I’m not so sure the alternate win condition on this card is feasible, but it would be fun to try and possibly in the right kind of quirky deck it could work with some consistency. However, if you just ignore that part of the card, this card can provide you an insane amount of extra mana and value. Imagine how many signets, darksteel ingots and sol rings you could confiscate with this guy, not even mentioning equipment, artifact creatures or other random artifacts. His biggest downsides are that he does provide your opponents a full turn to react to him and 5 toughness is hardly that impressive, but if you can get even one hit in with this guy you get to keep all those artifacts for the rest of the game. Against many decks, his first few attacks this will ramp you as much as primeval titan would. And who wouldn’t love to rip that lightning greaves or darksteel plate right off that annoying general?

Tune in for the top 5 soon . . .

My Top Ten Favorite Magic Cards #1

I doubt anyone had any doubts that Kiki Jiki would top the list. When I first started playing Friday Night Magic, I built a kick ass standard deck around this guy based on a weird anti-affinity list that won a random tournament. I have such great memories play it, meeting Adam, Ken, dragon shirt guy, Calvin, JD, and Thad and cutting my teeth as a tournament player. I loved how the deck was powerful with it's comes into play creatures like eternal witness and also played such quirky cards like Rootrunner. After Kiki Jiki rotated out of standard, I had to keep a Kiki-Jiki deck together and it got even more sick with a greater card pool.

Even aside from the amazing synergy this card has with Eternal Witness, Kiki-Jiki is a steamroller of card advantage that left unchecked will overwhelm opponents quickly. Sure, it's triple red casting cost, small power and toughness, and legendary status are downsides, it's because this card would be bonkers if it were any better. With haste, it's already impossible to avoid getting knocked around by it even if you do have instant speed destruction. And then it has such incredible resilience with creatures that return cards from your graveyard to help ensure that Kiki-Jiki will stay on the board to outlast all of the destruction your opponent can throw at it. The only real way to stop it is eradicate. Damn you, Tommy!

Honorable Mentions


Ulamog, the Infinite Gyre - One of the most ridiculous multiplayer creatures ever printed. You have to love Rise of Eldrazi for shit like this.


Stalking Yeti - Another critical cog of the babykiller deck and another one of those cards that people always had to read. It may be the poor man's flametongue kavu, but it's also a freaking yeti that is always checking your Facebook page.


Flametongue Kavu - Or maybe Flametongue Kavu is the rich man's Stalking Yeti. Bling Bling. Stop reading this blog immediately and raise the roof for Flametongue Kavu. Thank you.


Sakura-Tribe Elder - So critical for almost any deck playing green. The most versatile and powerful modern ramp card.

Sacred Mesa - Pony Crater is such a great thing to do with all that mana that control and multiplayer decks accumulate and it's so good against mass removal. What's not to love.


Thousand-year Elixir - A tricky, but fun build around card. Really enhances creatures with right kind of abilities.


Ensnaring Bridge - I had to have at least a shout out to the discard deck and this may be the most hated card from that deck. Back in the day when all we played with were creatures and creature removal, this deck would completely shut down the game. If only Alex can draw his one disenchant . . .


Ink-eyes, Servant of Oni - Isn't it so much fun to ninjutsu this guy into play returning a white Myojin to reset its divinity counter and being able to pull a woodfall primus from the opponent's graveyard?

My Top Ten Favorite Magic Cards #2

Zuberas, O, Zuberas! How my brain emits euphoria at the sight of your eyeless faces?
Zuberas, O, Zuberas! My lions do feel tender in your presence like a Christmas ham glistening in cherry glaze!
Zuberas, O, Zuberas! What majesty will you have in store for me in my next game?

Will you draw me many cards? Will you gain me much life? Will you destroy my opponents hands?
How I delight at the possibilities! How I love to collect you, to count you, to destroy you at my own hands!
You have been made to live and multiply for the sole purpose of my amusement and card advantage!

Countless pundits, talking heads hiding behind their sharpened Jittes and trusty Tarmogoyfs, have dismissed you, even mocked you as, "useless, boring, lame." Others have ignored you shoved away behind stacks of benalish heroes and chub toads, forgotten in an abyss of terrible cards.

O, Zuberas! How have such noble creatures be forced to such a cruel fate! You and I know you belong in between protective sleeves, you belong alongside Akroma and Ink-Eyes and Konda, you belong on the battlefield with your breathern, ready to head to you demise at a moment's notice! You belong in Zubera, a land of opportunity, prosperity and hope, a land where men are whiskers and women are compact discs, a land where you are beautiful in its multiple red suns and free to roam its cheese-covered groves, a land called Zuberica, the only land for me!

My Top Ten Favorite Magic Cards #3

Scrying Sheets is one of the best card advantage engines over the course of a long game. Of course you have to build your deck around snow permanents, which despite a few amazing ones likes ohran viper and stalking yeti and the support of skred and into the north, were rather underpowered. Scrying sheets was the one card that made playing all this snow worth it. It could outlast the card advantage of any control deck over a long game, especially causing havoc for mono-blue control players who would run out of counterspells. And the icing on the cake is that it does not even cost you a card since it is already a land that taps for colorless.

I played Joey's Babykiller deck in friday night magic tournaments for a longer time than I have ever played any other deck. It was no longer a dominant deck in standard at that time mostly because it had no possible way to beat dragonstorm or any kind of combo. Yet, I had a lot of success with it tearing apart all the lorwyn tribal decks of the time and all the people playing control decks too. One of the best things going for it was that people not only did not know the strategy behind the deck, but often had to read many of the cards since they were not always typical standard fare. Even though it is Joey's deck, I've always had a blast playing with it and probably know how to play it better than almost any other deck. Scrying Sheets was the glue that held the deck together and there are few magic moments more satisfying to me than hitting with it at a critical time.

My Top Ten Favorite Magic Cards #4 or How to Cheat at Magic

The top three ways to make sure you always have multiple Shining Shoals in your hand:

1. Pray to the Japanese god of arcane. If you have led a noble life, you will draw it when you are in need. If you have led an evil life, a donkey-cart full of turnips will fall onto you head.

2. Eat your vegetables.

3. Play with 7 of them in your deck.

Few cards are such a mindfuck and make your opponents more timid quite like shining shoal, especially when you have multiples in your hand and your opponents run into it multiple times in a row. How else could I beat Tommy's mono-red deck in a match with a spiritcraft deck that prominently features Oyobi? What other time has such a fast red deck lost to such a slow deck featuring dovescape?

Granted, there have been times I have been lucky with shining shoal in multiples to help me win (especially in the situation above). However, these situations stand out in your memory because they do end up being so incredible due to the way multiple surprise shining shoals can turn a game into a blow out for you. We don't remember the many games where I didn't draw shining shoal or only drew one. However, even in those cases part of brilliance of shining shoal is the fear it induces in your opponents, encouraging them to attack other people or stay home. Like the best combat tricks, it's a dirty mind game and makes me feel a little sleezy playing it. But only a little.

Alright, so this card was fairly obvious, but you all still have not guessed the next one.

My Top Ten Favorite Magic Cards #5

The Ravnica/Time Spiral block version of solar flare (which is kinda weird because all of the Kamigawa dragons that gave the deck its name had rotated out and had totally abandoned any graveyard recursion that had made it famous) was the deck with which I've had the most tournament success. It was an awesome combination of the most powerful cards in standard, combined with a game plan that came naturally to me as a timmy and multiplayer enthusiast. One of my favorite moments in magic of magic is getting to play some badass big boy or girl that has a big impact on the board and that's what solar flare was all about, splashy cards like Angel of Despair, Persecute, Wrath of God and Akroma that had a big impact.

I have some great memories of intense matches playing with this deck at big tournaments in Asheville and just winning round after round. For some reason success came really easily to me with this deck. Part of it was that this deck was the most powerful deck in standard at that moment and many of the people at FNM tournaments were player tier-two decks. Part of it was I was religiously watching replays on magic online and they were helping improve my play and providing me an understanding of how matchups and sideboarding work like never before. There was one point where I had won three tournaments in a row with this deck. It was a great feeling, although I doubt I'm as good at magic as this streak would suggest. It was more being in the right places with the right deck, having done the right legwork.

At any rate, Angel of Despair was the backbone of this deck. She is a beating that is hard to overcome. Not only do you take out their best permanent, but also hung around as a threat that unchecked would end the game in a few turns. Sure the color requirements are tough, but with the Ravnica duals it was rarely a problem, and few other creatures in magic provide such versatility and value as this card.

Now, at this point, you might be thinking that this list is going to be all creatures, but, spoiler alert, the next two cards are non-creature cards. I wonder if you will be able to guess what they are.

My Top Ten Favorite Magic Cards #6

When I first looked at Meloku the Clouded Mirror, I thought it wasn't very good like the rest of the moonfolk. Returning a land to your hand to only make a 1/1 seemed like a big setback for small payoff. However, once I saw Meloku in Mono-blue control decklists and tried him out for myself, I was quite impressed. The ability to make so many flying tokens so quickly could end the game very quickly and allowed a lot of great strategic play. This is one of my favorite parts of Meloku: it requires skill to know how to use most effectively--when to play it out of your hand, how many lands to return to your hand, how many tokens to use offensively versus defensively. It's an easy card to push too far and mess yourself up when someone casts hurricane. While Meloku speaks to the Timmy in me with its ability to amass an army of fliers, Meloku sings to the spike in me who enjoys trying to figure out the optimal play and outsmart my opponent.

This doesn't even get into the cool synergies that Meloku has with hand-size matters cards, discard, anti-land destruction tech, and cards that allow you to play multiple lands in one turn. These uses would be the main way to use this in multiplayer, since messing with your manabase is generally not such a good idea in such long games. Accordingly, my fondest memories with this card are when I was using it as a finisher in my Mirridon/Champions standard mono-blue control deck. Winning a game with Meloku and an army of tokens would be such a satisfying end for a control deck, both in its speed and in the skill required. Also, Meloku can beat Mayank at chess.

My Top Ten Favorite Magic Cards #7

Like Pelakka Wurm, Artisan of Kozilek is a huge beatstick with built-in card advantage. While the colorless mana-cost is nice, Artisan does take a little longer to cast than other large threats, but with some mana acceleration, 9 mana is highly attainable in multiplayer. The ability to bring back another huge creature or another tempo-swinging creature in addition to Artisan's huge body can really seal the deal on a game you are already winning or help you come from behind in a game you aren't. Then if Artisan can start attacking, it can hammer away at your opponent's mana base with its annihilator ability.

In many ways, Artisan feels like a multiplayer, timmy-centric eternal witness. Being mono-colored and providing such a huge effect at uncommon (so you can get them for less than a quarter), he fits in so many multiplayer decks and is hard to play against. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that this is probably the best uncommon creature for multiplayer ever printed. I'm also gonna go out on a 2nd limb and nickname this guy "Bob Ross." Because he is an Artisan, get it?!?

My Top Ten Favorite Magic Cards #8

Pelakka Wurn is cool on so many levels. It's like two Loxodon Hierarchics combined into one, gaining you 7 life along with such a big body is almost always a big set back to your opponents. Then if they do decide to kill it (and who doesn't want to kill a 7/7 trampler?) you get a card to replace it. Life gain and big creatures are especially good and multiplayer and this guy has both while also being helpful against mass destruction, one of the best strategies in multiplayer.

This card epitomizes many of the reasons that Rise of Eldrazi is one of my favorite sets ever. What other set would this kind of card be printed at uncommon? What other set would this be one of the best uncommons in draft? Any limited format where you can draft multiples of this guy and total dominate is awesome by me and was probably one of the reasons I did so well in ROE drafts over the summer: it was such a natural strategy for me as a timmy and multiplayer enthusiast. And the crazy thing is this guy is probably better than any eldrazi in draft too.

Overall, Pelakka Wurm is a home run, out of the park, over the fence and he has won my heart and we are getting married.

My Top Ten Favorite Magic Cards #9

Heartless Hidetsugu in your deck rarely fails to make multiplayer games more interesting. Although he usually has a huge target on his head as soon as he hits play, if you activate him at least once, whether with haste or some sort of protection, you know the game is probably coming down to the wire in an intense wild west showdown. Now, maybe these moments are more fun for me but I think it is hard to deny the fact that this guy has an intensity that few other multiplayer cards have. It's by no means an immediate win card and is hard to do much with him without some support since he is so easy and desire to kill in addition to being generally unable to win the game on his own (damn you rounding down!), but, if your opponents answers have been exhausted or the right pieces of the puzzle fall together, winning with this guy is like being the good guy in a movie slowly walking away with a huge explosion behind you.


Although this card has a very experiential, splashy Timmy effect, this card is one of the most Johnny type cards I like to play with because it really needs to have support cards to make it work. As you all have witnessed, lifelink or haste are insane with this guy. Mother of Runes or some sort of protection is generally pretty essential too. Burn can be pretty essential too to finish off your opponents' last few life. I suppose it could be fun to throw this guy randomly into a multiplayer deck with little support, but by himself, while dealing a buttload of damage usually, Heartless Hidetsugu is a little too risky if you don't have a significant life advantage. Few other magic cards have such a powerful effect that speed up a multiplayer game but require such a maniacal master plan that takes into account all the ins and outs and counter-strategies. He is also my date to prom.

My Top Ten Favorite Magic Cards #10

Alright, Christmas is just around the corner and you know what that means: time for Tommy to run around in a bunny suit throw mayonnaise at ducks. Well that and another top ten list.

This time I am covering my top ten favorite magic cards. Most of these cards are the ones I both enjoy play with the most and have the fondest memories of. These are the cards I dream about topdecking at night, the cards that bring back gushy marshmallow nostalgia of nights in the attic drinking beer and playing multiplayer. You might even be able to guess some of the cards on the list.  So, without further poopoo:

It can't be bolted. It can't be terrored. Sure, it can be STPed, but who would waste an STP on Yotian Solider? It blocks anything smaller than an ernham djinn all day, while still getting in for one damage a turn. He's an awesome defensive early drop for multiplayer, because on no color requirements, the four toughness and the fact that it can still ping someone for one. Yotian has aged a little with the printing of more efficient three-drops like kitchen finks or dauntless escort, but I never forget the feeling of dropping a Yotian in a multiplayer game and know, at least for a few turns, that my life total was safe.

While, unfortunately, there are a few cards which we have more of than Yotian Soldier, the count is still well above 30 and ever growing (keep your fingers crossed that it will be reprinted in Scars block). So, here is to everyone who sheds a little tear when they look at the art for pit trap! Yotian Solider, you can be my point guard/dental hygenist any day!

The Top Ten Albums of the Last Decade - #1

Arcade Fire - Funeral

They might not have changed music forever with this album or pioneer their own genre or won the Nobel peace prize, but Funeral was the best album for its unique ability to rock out when talking about death, for it's accessibility combined with its indie cred, for the fact that it never gets old despite revealing new wrinkles with every listen, and for the fact that no other band came out with rocking music with so much raw emotion combined so many interesting images that create a sort of post-apocalyptic childrens' book world. What other album can you find some much zaniness combine with so much authentic emotion, so much rocking, complex tunes about death? The bottom line is that if this record is not on your best of the decade list, you probably have bad taste in music.

Honorable Mentions

• Appleseed Cast - Mar Vitalis - The Bear in park by the sea in my heart will never die 
• Sigur Ros - Med Sud I Eyrum Vid Spilum Endalaust - Sigur Ros is always good, but it is even better when you don't fall asleep before finishing the album.
• Broken Social Scene - You Forgot It In People - Anthems for a seventeen year old still makes me feel cold in my bones after listening to it over and over in my apartment in Japan without centralized heat.
• Sufjan Stevens - Illinois - I almost went to college with him, way better than going to high school with Clay Aiken. 
• Los Campesinos! - Hold on Now, Youngster - Sometimes I wonder if this band is from another planet. 
• The Go! Team - Thunder, Lightning, Strike - Who knew manic cheerleader music could sound so good? 
• Frightened Rabbit- The Midnight Organ Fight - These guys remind me of Yo La Tengo in the fact that they are smarter, more indie, and more classy than almost anyone else out there. 
• Latterman - No Matter Where We Go - Like Sun Kil Moon, this is another pick that no one else probably agrees with, except this time not even Joey. However, few other bands make better upbeat music with a purpose than this record. 
• The Flaming Lips - Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robot - When I got this record for Christmas, we listened to it during breakfast and mom and dad got freaked out by the crazy robot talk in the 2nd track. Then mom spilled orange juice in a bowl of sausage and Christmas was ruined.

The Top Ten Albums of the Last Decade - #2

Outkast - Stankonia

In these days, the word masterpiece is throw around all the time (mostly by talking heads in the media who use it to refer to anything popular that happened more then 5 years ago--popular things less than five years old are called instant classics). Of all the great albums of this decade and on this list, I would say the top three on my list are the only ones that can be considered masterpieces (although Tryanny of Distance is close). However, few albums encompass the idea of a masterpiece better than Stankonia. This album is from a once in a generation artist creating their magnum opus. This album twists and bends so many other genres of music like mixing different colors of playdough together, except instead the ugly grey lump that was the outcome when I was a kid, Outkast created a playdough sunset of layered colors. This album is so many things at once: fun, thought-provoking, slick, sexy, innovative, accessible, danceable, intelligent, and socially aware. Many of the songs sound different with different styles and tones, but that is part of their brilliance: in the eccentricities they are held together by being smarter and more creative than anything else out there.

The Top Ten Albums of the Last Decade - #3

Sun Kil Moon - Ghosts of the Great Highway

I'm sure some critics would disagree with this album being on the list. In fact, of all the best of the decade lists I have read, none of them included this album on their list. This is downright criminal. It seems like a curse cast across Sun Kil Moon by an evil sorcerer that they are as unappreciated as their as music is breathtaking. Just like my father, I like to listen to music that I like over and over again often for years. But I make no apologies for this albums high placement on the list. If anything it is listed too low. Of all the many bands I've listened to repeatedly in this fashion, the album by Sun Kil Moon is the only one that can still give me chills at every listen. The songs, and especially "Glen Tipton," evoke a quiet, but beautiful nostalgia, the realization that time passes and life changes and learning to find comfort in this fact rather than sorrow. "Glen Tipton" should be considered one of the wonders of the modern world--how can a song about boxing and watching old movies on television and the death of a friend leave me feeling so calm and comforted. Listening to this album is a spiritual experience for me. It reassures me that there are powerful forces out of my control in the universe and makes me think of how I am fortunate to live in a world of Ohio and a gentle moon and fathers who stay up late watching movies. This album is a reminder of my own powerlessness in the universe, while at the same time empowering me with insight and purpose.

The Top Ten Albums of the Last Decade - #4

The New Pornographers - Twin Cinema

It was a difficult choice between this record and Mass Romantic to represent the pornographers, but I've thought this album a bit more consistent and packing more of my favorite tunes. I really couldn't fault someone for preferring any of the other New Pornographers albums to this one; they have been one of the most consistently amazing bands of this decade. Here are the facts:

1. Aliens listen to The New Pornographers.

2. No one would give a shit about online colleges if it wasn't for The Bleeding Heart Show.

3. This album has a cool sort of post-modern story telling quality to it. These songs seem like stories and even if they don't make logical sense, you feel like you are leaving something behind at the end of the song just like at the end of an excellent novel.

4. When Justin first looked up this band he almost got kicked out of college for searching for them.

5. This album has a certain sweetness. Not like sweetness from eating too much Halloween candy, but like sweetness when you are eating a lot of fruit recently and that makes apples taste better.

6. You see so many of those behind the music episodes where the band mates hate each other and can't stay together, it is kinda nice to see a band made up a members from others bands that are able to get along so well and be able to make such incredible music. Or maybe they hate each other and the good music comes out of the conflict. Hmmm

Anyway, there is really so much to like about this album and the pornographers in general. If only they would return my letters and emails . . .

The Top Ten Albums of the Last Decade - #5

Ted Leo & The Pharmacists - The Tyranny of Distance

Throughout the decade, Ted Leo has stayed true to his sound and his vision to the point that some critics fault him for a last of originality and musical evolution. I don't understand this criticism of Mr. Leo considering the convicition and passion of his musical vision and the fact that his albums have been consistently amazing throughout the decade.However, no album was better than Tyranny of Distance, Leo's breakout album from 2001 which declared his purpose with the fervor of two hundred pygmy hippos. This album approaches music as if it is a life-sustaining force, like water or bacon, as if Leo and the Pharmacists would all shrivel up and die if music disappeared from the world. Aside from making modern pop punk bands look foolish, the urgency is this record combined with prophetic and poetic lyrics makes this album more like a declaration of existential purpose than mere entertainment. How many bands can you say that about?