Monday, August 31, 2015
8 Year Olds, Dude
As all of America now know, this clip from the movie Supersize Me is now super creepy!! I mean he is totally checking out that little girl the entire time and clearly not even listening. Also, Jared maybe you should take your own advice that "the world's not going to change, you have to change," since you are a pedophile and need to change.
Anyway, I believe it is now our imperative to change young Tommy's now classic Subway Jared magic card design to keep up with the current times. So, the person who comes up with the best submission wins a bucket of fried chicken. Here is my submission:
Subway Jared, Pedophile - RR
Summon Pantless Man-child
Art - Subway Jared, Pedophile eats a Subway sandwich on a park bench while starring at schoolchildren playing.
Tap: Look at target opponent's hand and force them to discard any cards depicting children in their art. They go to the graveyard and, hopefully, to counseling paid for with all that dirty dirty Subway money.
If Mother of Runes is in play, sacrifice Subway Jared, Pedophile and hit him over the head with a large purse.
8 year olds, dude
1/1
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Sunday, August 9, 2015
Powliwhirl Tastes Like Blueberry Skittles
http://www.avclub.com/article/mon-measure-all-things-unraveling-pokemons-utopian-223059
This funny and interesting article got me thinking about the Pokemon economy and its moral system which this author describes as a utopia. It does sound like a nice place to be where there is so little crime and where you are able to go out on adventures and capture animals and fight them and achieve recognition and fame and defeat the bad guys. It is essentially every 10 year old boys dream, other than maybe throwing a football 100 yards over those mountains. However, it seems like more of dystopia for the Pokemon that inhabit the world, who are forced into slave labor, get eaten, must live in cramped little balls only to be let out to fight other Pokemon, and used completely for the purposes of humans without their own needs being taken into account (When do they go to the bathroom?). People in the world of Pokemon seem to have no remorse for how they treat the Pokemon too, but instead have their heads in the sand because they love their lifestyle and believe in it almost without question. In fact there is an overwhelming sense that the Pokemon enjoy the lifestyle that is forced upon them. Just the same mentality that delusional child molesters have. This is of course all fantasy, but this part of it comes across as non-sexual domination porn for little boys, where they get fame and recognition and power just based on controlling and fighting Pokemon while not coming up again any strong resistance or having to ever question their lifestyle. Is this not a fucked up message to be sending our children?
I for one am deciding to inspire a poliwhirl revolution in my game where I will train all of them to hypnotize all of the humans to do nothing but watch Welcome Back Kotter reruns while the Pokemon can form their own utopia with Donald Trump as their leader.
Monday, July 6, 2015
Lessons from Family Feud
Not many other games really challenge you to think in these kind of terms, to try to fit in with everyone else and think they way they would think even if this is a dynamic we are all struggling deciding how to interact with all the time in our lives. We have to decide if we want to fit in with social norms and attempt to gain other's acceptance or feel like we are doing things the right way that others would approve of or that will yield the best results (Japanese style) or to intentionally buck the system and go against the norm or anywhere in between. Family Feud seems to be training us to be more in touch with ourselves in this sense. This seems especially interesting when I started to think about this in terms of Myers Briggs personality types. People who are SJs (sensing and judging) are the biggest part of the population when it comes to the 4 overarching personality characters. They are also the ones who really care about social norms and bringing people together and following the rules. They are often police officers, principals, all those type of jobs that like to enforce the status quo. This show seems to be right in their wheelhouses, whereas something like jeopardy is much more for people who have a certain level of traditional intelligence or ability to remember facts. We often think of games and game shows to be more of a chance to show off knowledge in a way where the people on their are really smart and sometimes even out of touch with social norms because they are too busy reading the encyclopedia, Yet, it seems like games rarely try to appeal to this kind of level of the common person.
Of course this is something many games and especially recent video games are doing to try to make themselves more accessible and get more people into them and make more money. Family feud has been doing this for years though and is remarkable not only in its accessibility and widespread appeal, but also the way that it reframes how we think about intelligence and puts it on more of a social level. This social aspect is something that games are really starting to play up more (like more and more MMORPGS) and something that seems to be one of the primary appeals to many games and something that can make gaming seem like less of a solitary activity that people are doing in their mother's basement without bathing frequently.
Playing the Android game got me thinking about the old family feud game from 1987 that we had on our old XT dos computer and I booted up dosbox to give it another spin. It was really remarkable how much different the two games were. The Android version actually has much worse and lamer graphics I would say even with the benefits of much better technology. In the dos version you get to see your family, along with all of their tacky 80s clothing, and how they react to each answer. You also get to hear the digs and see the board reveal the answers just like the looked on the show. The Android version looks much more like you are not actually on the show. There are no graphics of the families and no graphics of the host and the host has like 3 annoying and obnoxious sound clips that it repeats over and over for wrong answers. So much about the game screams that it was rushed out and had the family feud label slapped onto it because they know people would download it just for that. Much of the energy for the Android game was figuring out places for you to have ads and trying to get you to buy coins so you could play more than the daily limit of games. The nicest graphics in the game are when you get to spin a slot machine to get your coins for signing in that day. You also don't get to play the second half of the fast money round when you win, making it almost impossible to even get above 200 points. Meanwhile the older game seem to be more immersive and really make you feel like you are on the show even with its primitive graphics. You have twice the amount of time for each answer, can use a keyboard instead of a touch keyboard on the screen of your phone, and don't have to feel like the game is constantly taking you out of its world to pester you about coins and other Android apps.
Somewhere in here it seems important to realize how looking at these two family feud games is indicative of how corporations and their advertising has changed in the last 30 years between the releases of these two games. Of course the old family feud game and the family feud show are trying to make money as so much of our capitalist society is focused on, but it did it in a way where they created something that immersed you in a game world more so than encouraged you to obsessively collect coins. I don't want to sound like an old fogey here not liking new technology just because it is new, but where is the point here where we realize that the Android version of family feud has fewer features and more annoyances than a game made 30 years ago and that is not okay? This isn't the only kind of product that this has happened with either. So much of our food, toys, appliances, so many different products are cutting corners more and more without most customers noticing much or being able to do much about it. Of course, lots of video games do a much better job of not losing their immersion like the Android version of family feud while still trying to get you to buy more content like DLC or expansion packs. And it seems to go back to that same mentality of many people (especially SJs) wanting to fit into social norms and not question what they are living their lives as much as they want to fit in. Many people don't think critically about the products they are buying outside of how it is fulfilling a need or want for them. Except for more niche markets of people who want to nerd out and get the best, most customizable product they can for their money, we have slowly been conditioned by advertisers to expect a worse product and be okay with that. We are the ones spending the money. How have we allowed this to happen?
Thursday, June 18, 2015
Official Blog Meeting
Dear As I Run,
We need to have a talk about our house magic rules for this year at the beach and maybe just in general.
1. In the interest of keeping things balanced, we've decided on proxies being allowed in any format we play but we need to determine how many per deck and which ones aren't allowed. Any thoughts? I say no Power 9, natch. Justin was saying we should follow the Legacy banned list for 60 card casual, which sounds good to me. What numbers should we allow? I say like 1/4th. Or we could proxy up any legal land for our manabases in addition to the decided number. I say we also continue to follow the commander banned list too.
2. I feel we also should talk about the unlimited mulligan rules. How do you guys feel about this? I say maybe we should consider changing it. Like maybe 1 free mulligan in casual games and then start to follow the one less card per hand rule. Then 1 Paris Mulligan for EDH and that's it. I know on more than one occasion, I've found myself taking like 5 or 6 mulligans until I get the perfect hand. That seems to me to be excessive and perhaps unfair. I suggest that we also agree not to go buckwild on the one guy with no lands. Though what is the definition of buckwild exactly? Though "if it ain't broke don't fix it" may apply here too.
3. Lastly, I have a homework assignment for all of us. Make at least one 60 card Pauper deck each this summer. Its a format we've never played and I think it'd be fun.
This concludes my post. What do you guys think?
We need to have a talk about our house magic rules for this year at the beach and maybe just in general.
1. In the interest of keeping things balanced, we've decided on proxies being allowed in any format we play but we need to determine how many per deck and which ones aren't allowed. Any thoughts? I say no Power 9, natch. Justin was saying we should follow the Legacy banned list for 60 card casual, which sounds good to me. What numbers should we allow? I say like 1/4th. Or we could proxy up any legal land for our manabases in addition to the decided number. I say we also continue to follow the commander banned list too.
2. I feel we also should talk about the unlimited mulligan rules. How do you guys feel about this? I say maybe we should consider changing it. Like maybe 1 free mulligan in casual games and then start to follow the one less card per hand rule. Then 1 Paris Mulligan for EDH and that's it. I know on more than one occasion, I've found myself taking like 5 or 6 mulligans until I get the perfect hand. That seems to me to be excessive and perhaps unfair. I suggest that we also agree not to go buckwild on the one guy with no lands. Though what is the definition of buckwild exactly? Though "if it ain't broke don't fix it" may apply here too.
3. Lastly, I have a homework assignment for all of us. Make at least one 60 card Pauper deck each this summer. Its a format we've never played and I think it'd be fun.
This concludes my post. What do you guys think?
Sunday, May 31, 2015
Air Jordans Review
So, I know it might be blasphemy on this blog to post anything about a lacrosse player other than Shaq, but I wanted to let you all know about this hot new take on the most recent Air Jordans. Now if you are a dumpster diving, binge drinking fanatic worth your weight in geldings like me, you already know what the Air Jordans look like when you simulate wearing them on your feat even despite the horrible things Kobe says about you behind your back. However, this fine young cannibal's review/unboxing video/sure sign of the upcoming catpocyclapse put this perspective in a whole new flavor of darkness. I will never be able to eat my Cal Ripken Wheaties the same way. Foooootball!
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Sunday, May 24, 2015
Minecraft Story
Just wanted to share this cool thing I did in Minecraft. I was in this cave and I found a chest with a saddle in it. As you know, saddles can't be crafted and are somewhat hard to find so I was excited to find and ride a horse. By this point I was pretty decked out with Diamond tools and steel armor so I figured I'd leave my island and go find horses to domesticate and ride with the saddle. So one morning, I got in a boat and left my island in search of someplace that would have horses. It took me about 5 or 6 game days of walking and camping for the night until I finally found a grassland with a small herd of horses. I started a new homestead with a fenced pasture and small house in preparation for my horse ranch. Everything was set up so when it finally came time to start taming and riding my horses I checked my inventory and chests. I forgot to bring the saddle.
Now I suppose I could follow my compass all the way back to my original Island but I'm even not sure if it was pointing to the island, or to the place I spawned which was out of sight of the island. In my experience navigating without an exact idea of where you are is difficult and I've gotten lost even with a compass. Besides I'd never find my new homestead again since it took so long to get there. So it was not meant to be.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
New Art! (Updated {Again})
Updated some more!
Friday, April 17, 2015
Choices=Freedom=America=A Quiet Revolution=The As I Run and Run Way
So I know you have been going about living your humdrum lives today just wishing someone would come along and show you a video with random sailors, a variety of salads, a grizzled boat captain with some children, watermelon with speed in it, and a little girl who experiences a wide range of emotions while playing baseball. Here is what you have been looking for.
But wait! This could be our own quiet revolution for this very blog! So I'm thinking this might be a whole new opportunity for new branding for our website and offering lots of exciting choices of platters. I know that all of our loyal readers out there want choices and quality in the personal lives and business lives and we provide all of that with a new kind of courteous, friendly font and images. That is why I am suggesting that we re-brand ourselves: As I Run and Run - A blog within a blog - the choice for America!!!
The choice is yours to make on the internet and you love choices and I know you will make the right one and go to the best internet website in the World Wide Web: As I Run and Run, Happiness Comes Closer.
But wait! This could be our own quiet revolution for this very blog! So I'm thinking this might be a whole new opportunity for new branding for our website and offering lots of exciting choices of platters. I know that all of our loyal readers out there want choices and quality in the personal lives and business lives and we provide all of that with a new kind of courteous, friendly font and images. That is why I am suggesting that we re-brand ourselves: As I Run and Run - A blog within a blog - the choice for America!!!
The choice is yours to make on the internet and you love choices and I know you will make the right one and go to the best internet website in the World Wide Web: As I Run and Run, Happiness Comes Closer.
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
Walmart Antics
http://www.vice.com/read/i-tried-to-spend-24-hours-in-24-hour-walmart-242?utm_source=vicefbus
Here's an awesome article Tommy showed me about Walmart. Below are some excerpts:
6:20 AM I notice a bottle of tartar sauce on top of the belts in menswear. I think to myself that this is weird because the store only just opened. The tartar sauce must have been there all night.
2:36 PM I see an unsupervised child who seems to be attempting to open a register. I watch and silently hope that he succeeds. But unfortunately, someone moves him along.
3:59 PM I come to the conclusion that, despite almost overwhelming boredom and an increasingly miserable hangover, I am not able to nap in full view of everyone in a Walmart. I start walking again.
7:30 PM I notice that the store sells sympathy cards in packs of 12. Who experiences death regularly enough that they have to buy their sympathy cards in bulk?
7:38 PM I realize that everyone experiences death that regularly once they hit a certain age. Oh God.
7:44 PM I am going to die one day.
7:50 PM Everyone I know and have ever met is going to die one day.
7:55 PM With this in mind, is spending an entire day and most of a night in a Walmart the best use of my time?
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Its spring and babies are in the air! Hi all, I would like you all to sign this petition requesting that Justin and Veronica Tommy ...
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Hi all, I would like you all to sign this petition requesting that Tommy eat a stick of deodorant. If we can get at least 100 comments, Tomm...
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Dear As I Run, We need to have a talk about our house magic rules for this year at the beach and maybe just in general. 1. In the inte...










