My Top 100 Favorite Songs

So in no particular order, here they are. I've thought about doing some separate posts about some of these songs individually and why I like them and the memories associated with them and maybe I will at some point. I'm not sure this list is set in stone and I think it will change over time, but overall I feel pretty happy with this and I love all of these songs.

The Barbarians - Moulty
The Only Ones - Another Girl, Another Planet
Army Navy - Saints
Saturday Looks Good to Me - Amublance
Saturday Looks Good to Me - Meet Me By the Water
Saturday Looks Good to Me - Alcohol
The Hold Steady - Stuck Between Stations
The Hold Steady - Chips Ahoy!
Bruce Springsteen - Born to Run
Camper Van Beethoven - All Her Favorite Fruit
The Magnetic Fields - The Luckiest Guy on the Lower East Side
The Magnetic Fields - I Think I Need A New Heart
The Magnetic Fields - Strange Powers
Ted Leo and the Pharmacists - Me & Mia
Ted Leo and the Pharmacists - Timorous Me
Ted Leo and the Pharmacists - Biomusicology
Ted Leo and the Pharmacists - Bottle of Buckie
The New Pornographers - Ballad of a Comeback Kid
The New Pornographers - Letter from an Occupant
The New Pornographers - The Bleeding Heart Show
The Cars - Just What I Needed
Sleater-Kinney - I Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone
The Get Up Kids - Mass Pike
Tom Petty - American Girl
Sun Kil Moon - Carry Me Ohio
Sun Kil Moon - Glenn Tipton
Sun Kil Moon - Sunshine in Chicago
Appleseed Cast - Forever Longing The Golden Sunsets
Appleseed Cast - Steps and Numbers
Appleseed Cast - Santa Maria
Youth Group - Start Tomorrow Today
Sufjan Stevens - Chicago
Sufjan Stevens - The Man of Metropolis Steals Our Hearts
We Were Promised Jetpacks - Quiet Little Voices
Band of Horses - The Funeral
The Goodnight Loving - Dead Fish on the Banks
Beat Happening - In Between
Beat Happening - Our Secret
Beachfield - Coles to Newcastle
The Helio Sequence - Can't Say No
Sebadoh - Ocean
Frightened Rabbit - Modern Leper
Outkast - Hey Ya
TV on the Radio - Wolf Like Me
Peter Bjorn and John - Object of My Affection
Pure Prarie League - Amie
Pure Prarie League - Call Me, Tell Me
The Nashville Ramblers - Trains
The Replacements - Unsatisfied
The Wedding Present - I'm Further North from You
Old Canes - Little Bird Courage
Japandroids - Younger Us
Our Anatomy - Zombie Love Song
The National - Mr. November
The Dodos - Fools
The Flaming Lips - Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robot
The Flaming Lips - Waiting for Superman
Tommy James - I Think We're Alone Now
Holy Fuck - Lovely Allen
The War on Drugs - Taking the Farm
The Mountain Goats - Next Year
Kittens Ablaze - Gloom Doom Buttercup
Great Lake Myth Society - Heydays
Aesop Rock - None Shall Pass
Mouth's Cradle - Summertime
Question Mark and the Mysterians - 96 Tears
The Apples in Stereo - Winter Must Be Cold
Beach Boys - Good Vibrations
Spoon - I Summon You
Blink-182 - Feeling This
Baby Dayliner - Hoodlums in the Hit Parade
Brandston - Summer in St. Claire
Alias - Well Water Black
The Kingsbury Manx - 10008
Cloud Nothings - I'm Not Part of Me
The Pixies - U-Mass
My Morning Jacket - One Big Holiday
The Octopus Project - Porno Diaster
Raymond & Maria - No One Notices Your Brand New T-Shirt
America - Sister Golden Hair
Rod Stewart - You Wear It Well
The Hoodoo Gurus - I Want You Back
Soul Asylum - Endless Farewell
Yo La Tengo - Autumn Sweater
The Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Maps
Broken Social Scene - Anthems for a Seventeen-Year-Old Girl
Weezer - Only in Dreams
Titus Andronicus - A More Perfect Union
Throw Me The Statue - About To Walk
Dexy's Midnight Runners - Come on Eileen
The Shout Out Louds - Very Loud
The New Amsterdams - From California
Minus the Bear - Monkey!!!Knife!!!Fight!!!
Minus the Bear - Absinthe Party At The Fly Honey Warehouse
Modest Mouse - Third Planet
Pavement - Cut Your Hair
Chumbawamba - Tubthumping
The Weakerthans - Tournament of Hearts
The Len Price 3 - Keep Your Eyes On Me
The Most Serene Republic - (Oh) God

Grass: Pt 1

My father occasionally asks me what I remember of his mother, my grandmother, who died when I was only three.
"Nothing," I always lie.
The truth is I don't remember her but strawberry shortcake and the smell of cigarettes.  A picnic table under a tree and vast expanses of wet grass, made all the more vast by my small size.  Its funny what the mind holds onto.
 I can't remember my first crab feast or most of what I learned in school but I seem to recall a fallen tree.  It must have shaken the Earth when it went down in an ice storm some year.  I remember a piano repairman, a college girl, a landscaper, and a poor old house with no locks on the doors.
Its funny how what you do at once feels unimportant in the grand scheme, but somehow does matter when all is said and done.  Without these memories and experiences who would I be?
I know I left High Point for Rockingham County after a year.
"The grass is always greener" warned my French professor.  You see I was the best French student High Point had seen and I would be missed.
"Yeah right" were my final words to him.
2004.  I enrolled at Guilford College that summer and studied Spanish and World Politics.  On the way back from the mountains with Martin and Alex and my brother Phil, we stopped at Guilford and threw the frisbee around a dusky athletic field encircled by asphalt.  I was there then to find housing for the summer. I found a bulletin board with help wanted signs and apartment advertisements.
"100 year old farmhouse" the weathered ad read.  This appealed to my sensibilities.
When I first arrived to meet them, Mitch, the landscaper, asked "why would you want to live here?"  After all there would be no AC and nothing but heat all summer.
"I like this place.  I like nature and that sort of shit..."
Mitch only laughed.  He had me pegged as a rich tourist immediately.
Its funny what you treasure.  I seem to recall a southern glow from Greensboro and the most giant bugs flying around exterior lights as though they were still craving sunlight.
At day I was alone.  Everyone else was at work, at school.  I appreciated the solitude.  I would play with the cats, smoke cigarettes, watch the grass grow.  Sometimes I would make the half-hour drive down the 220 to attend class but when Jay, Kate, and Mitch came back the afternoon went up in smoke.
"I don't do drugs.  Just pot."  I would always say, but that seems like a rationalization.  Its hard to reason with that which you cannot understand, with that which you cannot grasp.
I am by no means an old man.  For 29 years I have prided myself with musical pursuits.  Played mostly by memorization of patterns, not by feeling.
My first night there I was timid, as is my way.  Jay, a piano repairman, brought out his shotgun to gauge my reaction.
I went to Walmart to buy an extension cord.

How to Find a Monkey's Secret Watering Hole

I was cleaning out my desk the other day when I found a Spring 2004 copy of Apogee, the literary journal of High Point University.  On page 92, buried beneath a bunch of college poetry and short stories is my how-to on finding water in the desert.  As I recall this and the Bobber Story are the two things I turned in for creative writing assignments throughout high school and college English.  I think its based on one of those wildlife programs you see on Discovery or Nat Geo, so this is actually kind of legit.  Anyway I thought I'd type it up and share it because its weirdly awesome!

How to Find a Monkey's Secret Watering Hole

Ever been lost in the wilderness without any water?  Then pay close attention.  This may save your life.
First you must find a monkey, which pretty much goes without saying.
If no monkey is in sight, look in places where monkeys like to hang out, such as up in trees.  To gain it's trust, offer it something like a banana, but any food item will do, maybe a burrito or some Chef Boyardee.
If no food is available, try to be one with the monkey.  Swallow your pride, get on all fours, and speak to him; show that you understand him as much as he understands you.  These steps should easily make the monkey warm up to you.  That's when you grab him.  Don't abuse the monkey's new found trust, though.  Be gentle.  Be smooth, suave and sophisticated.
As you as you have the monkey in your arms, tie him to the nearest tree where he can relax.  Again, be firm, but not rough.  If he gets sassy, tell him you need his help.  Give your primate pal a bit to eat.  Offer a monkey's favorite treat, a salt rock.  He will find it irresistible, and will munch it all, regardless of how hungry he is.  Make sure to give him the largest salt rock you have-you want to make him very thirsty.  He must eat all the rock before you untie him.  He must be parched and ready for a big drink!
By the time the monkey has consumed the rock, you will both no doubt be eager to pay a visit to his secret watering hole.  Don't make the little guy suffer any more than necessary.  Untie him, but be ready to run because, take it from me, once he is free, he will go straight for his watering hole traveling at full speed.
Being a monkey, he will surely have a secret cave or secluded spring which he frequents, the kind of cave or spring that only Boy Scouts or Navy Seals would have the survival skills to find on their own.
When you arrive at the water source, don't be too hasty to drink.  While its understandable that you may have run miles to get there, you mustn't get in the  monkey's way when he's drinking.  After all, it is the monkey's secret watering hole.  Be courteous and wait your turn.  When the monkey is finished, its your turn.
Drink deep from the refreshing spring.
Enjoy!

Dr. Phil Found Poem

This is a poem I wrote using entirely the words that came out of the man's mouth in one episode of Dr. Phil.

Let’s just be honest here.

I’ve got some friends that are real mouth-breathers.

Do you consider yourself a smart guy?

The University of Budapest doesn’t exist.

You deserve some help.

She found numerous pictures of your private parts on your phone as well. Are those for distribution?

There are some things you need to acknowledge.

You’ve got to think about somebody besides yourself and wonder what kind of chaos is going on in her head and here you come in and it’s just urr urr urr urr urr.

Do you know what misogynistic means? Do you know what chauvinistic means? Do you know what jerk means?

We’re talking about this and you look like you’re sitting here ready to order lunch.

Why is this okay?

It’s just wrong. It’s just absolutely wrong.

You need to fix it here now.

Women, do y’all wanna see that?

I don’t care what they tell you. They don’t want to see that. They don’t want to see that.

She’s no princess here.

Freur: Doot Doot

Skeezy has spoken!  I wrote all the songs on little pieces of paper and threw them all up in the air in front of El Gato Loco and he went for Doot Doot.  I threw them again just to make sure and he chose the same piece of paper.  From now on this is how I make all of my important decisions.

Skeezy's Theme Song

What do you guys think Skeezy's theme song should be?  I say we each submit 1 to 3 songs via Youtube and then after that we all vote on the songs.  Participation is mandatory.  Kapeesh?  Kapeesh.

My submissions:

Tech N9ne - Strange:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCcKkIEFYBA


Led Zeppelin (Sloppy): Dazed & Confused:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tdYMWng9lM


Freur: Doot Doot:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCvbLVAIY8w

Great Moments in Facebook History

So here's some context before this quote. I am a fan of Mara Wilson on Facebook AKA Matilda. She's got a blog that's pretty cool. I've sent her a few marriage proposals and she's sent me several strongly worded letters from her lawyer. So here's a gem from one of her profile pictures:

"You know... the world is a strange place... you happen to look remarkably like a faceless old woman who happens to secretly live in my home... only... you know... you have a face... and you are not an old woman. But except for that... you look EXACTLY like her. Spooky."

Penguin Meat

Politics the Card Game

Politics: The Bludgeoning

Politics boils down complex social and political issues into their pragmatic utility just like real live politicians. The idea is that you win by out-sleezing your opponent. You win when your opponents approval rating goes to zero or you control enough political offices. Money buys you everything from people to offices to corporate "endorsements" and you manipulate the laws to your advantage. 

The first set of the game would focus on spoofing modern American politics. The humor of the game would center upon mocking tropes found within the political scene without being overly topical (I.E. making Anthony Weiner jokes or mocking Bush directly, when the collective unconscious has forgotten about both of these individuals). Later sets could spoof other eras of history, such as antiquity.

The mechanics are thus: 

You and your opponent draw 7 cards at the start of each game and start with 50% approval rating. Political offices exist as part of a player’s deck. You may play an office for free, but any player can have a person they control run for an office if they pay the necessary costs. The other player may counter by having one of their people run for office. You win an office by outtalking your opponent, making your opponent’s person leave his cause in shame upon losing an election. People have stats called charisma (power) and dedication (toughness).

Offices are worth a certain amount of points and it takes ten office points to win (arbitrary I might change it). Low offices (E.G. sheriff or mayor) are worth one point. Middle offices (governors and congress people) are worth 2 points. High offices (President or Senator) are worth 3 points. Offices come with additional effects and benefits per the office.

Turn order follows roughly the same rhythm as Magic: Draw, main phase, elections/propaganda, main phase clean up. During the propaganda phase the people you own can attack your opponents approval rating directly through the use of media outlets which you purchase from your hand. You also have to pay to put someone in control of a media source. Media sources have audience factors which boost the charisma of the people who control them. Your opponents can choose to spin and block your propaganda with the people they have in their own media sources.

Also, you have laws both local and global that you can purchase. Local laws function just like auras in magic. They only attach to particular permanents.

Here’s some examples of cards:

Rainbow Coalition- 3 mil

Corporation- non-profit  activism

Donates 1 mil to your cause each turn.

If you ever control one race people discard Rainbow Coalition.

Stoned Slacker- 1 Mil

White deadbeat

1 Charisma/ 1 dedication

The Dead vote – 2 mil

Political Maneuver

Gain 2% approval rating for each person in your discard pile

Billionaire Billy - 20 Mil

Unique-person

Donates 10 mil per turn to your cause

Draw 3 cards at the beginning of each turn 

10 Char/10 Dedication

Free Billy -4 Mil

Political Maneuver-Knee Jerk (instant (does magic have this copy-righted?))

Prevent all damage dealt to target unique person. Remove all laws attached to that person.

That person gains Political Immunity (Shroud) permanently.

Hatebeak!

So, this gives me the idea that the next SPD album should have a different animal guest sing on each track. I think Bogie's baritone meowing would make a fine addition to a song about hot dogs.
Also, I am not a Parrot.

My Grand Prix Richmond Tournament Report

 

First off, this is the deck list I ran that Anthony had pretty much shown me a few days before. I had played a version of the deck once last fall when he came to visit me and wanted to test some modern and enjoyed playing it’s all in on a bunch of silly auras on silly creatures strategy, but I had little experience with it and little knowledge of the modern format beyond this limited playtesting.

Originally, I was thinking I wasn’t going to go to this tournament because I had a lot of assignments due after break, because I had so little experience in the modern format, because I wanted to save money and because whenever I hang around Anthony it means not eating until late for every meal and getting to sleep late so I knew it would wear me out. However, he talked me into going since it would be an experience being such a big tournament and he offered to pay for gas and hotel money. So it wasn’t until the Friday morning when the tournament actually started that I decided to go.

Anthony came and picked me up in Greensboro at my apartment on the way to Richmond during a fairly terrible ice storm where there was a powerline/tree limb down that was completely blocking one side of my road and most of the streetlights in the city were out because few places had power. As soon as he got out of the car with Delanio, who owns the shop we used to play at and sponsors the “team” from there, the idea was suggested that I could play under Austin’s name who did not think to get a ride to the shop so that he could carpool to Richmond. Delanio had already paid the $40 for Austin, so I agreed because I thought I wouldn’t do well since I didn’t know the format and this would save me the $40 entry fee.

Along with the two other Native guys who drove in a separate vehicle, we got to the tournament and watched a lecture by Patrick Chapin which was tremendously helpful in me understanding what the modern format was all about, including some of the best cards and an overview of many of the decks. Then we ate pizza and went back to the hotel to prepare our decks and get some sleep for the next morning’s tournament. I asked a bunch of questions about how the deck worked and how I should sideboard and felt like I started understanding the format and many of the dominant strategies better. I also watched some videos of it online that taught me some of the little tricks of the deck including the importance of being aggressive with mulliganing (going down to even 4 or 3 cards sometimes which I did multiple times during the tournament). Then I tried to get some sleep, but couldn’t sleep at all because Delanio did not bring his CPAP machine for sleep apnea and even lied to Anthony that he did and he made so much noise gasping for air the whole night that I don’t think I got more than a few hours of sleep.

The next morning, I got registered and saw GAC in my pod and talked to him for a long time which mostly involved listening to him talk about magic formats I didn’t know much about and about how he was going to be a financial auditor. The crazy thing was that since I was not knowledge about the format and not expecting to do well, I was not the least bit nervous that morning and in fact other than one small moment, did not feel nervous the entire time I played that day. The guy I was playing for had a first round bye, so I played against Anthony during the first round and got to understand the deck a little better. Then I won the first two rounds I played against some people who were competent, but not extremely strong players. The second guy I played tried to combo out two games against me with grapeshot and seemed to miscalculate how to do it right and fizzled out both times.

Then in the 4^th round, I was paired up with Craig Wescoe. When he first shook my hand and introduced himself as Craig, my first instinct was to say, “Oh Shit” in my head. However, right after that, I decided that I was not going to acknowledge that he was a pro so that I would not psych myself out and instead just treated it like another day at the office. I mulliganed down to 5 the first game and made a pretty critical mistake where I attacked with my auraed up boggle into an active knight of the reliquary not thinking about his ability to search up a fetch land and play abrupt decay on one of my auras to kill my guy. The attack essentially blew me out of this game, a game that I actually seemed to be winning up until that point. The second game I had a solid 7 card hand and despite his best efforts put solid pressure on him the entire game and ended up winning when he made a mistake not realizing that the kor spiritdance got +2/+2 for having keen sense on it as I attacked for the win. The third game I had to mulligan down to 4 and he had a couple of thoughtseizes making it almost impossible for me to come back. Even though I lost, I was happy to be able to go toe to toe with somebody who is one of the best magic players of all time and not get my ass beat into the ground.

At this point, I was expecting my second loss to come fairly soon and then a third so I could go do some side drafts, which I was looking forward to. However, the crazy thing was I never lost another match, even though there were some close calls. I ended up going 8-1 and making day 2. Most people I played were really nice. Many of them made some misplays that swung the matches in my favor, something I wasn’t entirely expecting in people who were winning that much. However, there was one guy I play in the middle rounds that got really angry at me for beating him in a couple of games that were not really close. He talked about how lucky I was to always draw what I needed and started cussing. I wished him good luck and all he said was pffft and rolled his eyes. I beat one deck which I only later learned was a meleria pod deck with two amazing hands without even having any idea what the deck did. All I saw was him play a kitchen finks and a spike feeder and I had no idea what he might be trying to do. I thumped a couple of scapeshift decks which I seemed to have a good matchup against and outplayed a tough zoo opponent by using daybreak coronet which they could do almost nothing about. Every time I won I was shocked and not expecting it to continue.

Now at the end of the first day standing at 8-1, we all start to talk about what I am going to do since I am not playing under my own name. What if I get matched up against a pro during day two and they put our match online as the feature match? What if I do well enough to get prizes and have to fill out the tax forms with the incorrect information? What if I even made top 8 and was found out as a fraud? Could both of us get banned? Would I even be able to get any prizes? Given all of these potential consequences, it pains me to say that I decided not to participate in day two and slept in a little later instead. One of the guys I was with even said he overheard someone who was overjoyed at the fact that their opponent did not show up to day 2. While I will always wonder how I might have done if I had continued playing and if I could have won the whole thing or at least made some money in prizes, I think it was best to not get both of us banned or in trouble.

The second day, I bombed in a side draft where I rare draft 10 rares most of them out of color, but at least made my money back. Then Anthony and I went undefeated in a two-headed giant sealed event that was a blast to play in. It was an exciting time and I am still a bit in shock that I ended up doing so well. And now I learned an important lesson that I will always play in tournaments under my own name. The entire saving money angle was silly had I stopped to think about it since the batterskull and playmat that you get for entering were worth more than $40. If I have time, I might try to go to some more big tournaments like this soon, since I was a blast seeing so many magic players all having fun at the same time. And that is what I did during my summer vacation.

Magic Personality Quiz

I found this magic player personality quiz, which at first I almost dismissed because the questions are often silly and dated, but in the end the result and write up were quite interesting. I would be curious to see what you all get.

Here are my results, which felt like the resonated well with my strengths and weaknesses as a player who does best with an intense level of focus. I haven't read the other 15 results, but this does seem like an interesting way to think about what kind of magic player you are that goes beyond the Spike, Timmy, and Johnny distinction.

Phil, you are a... Supercomputer (CDFG) Competitive Defensive Flexible Game-player

You're a serious player who's out there to win. You handle a lot of complex strategic ideas, gradually number-crunching and thinking your way to victory. 'That's the just the way it is' is the attitude of lesser beings than you. You're always analysing your game while it's happening and if things don't work out the way you want them to, you'll assess them frankly. If you didn't play as well as you could have done then you'll admit the mistake. You know that it's only by acknowledging your weaknesses that you become stronger. You think a lot about how you play. Great ideas for your strategy hit you when you're in the shower or driving along the road. You know the value of preparation but you also know that it's never possible to predict exactly what's going to happen in a game. If things aren't working out quite how you expect them to, you think on your feet, changing your calculations until it all adds up. You're by nature a defensive player. You believe in taking measured and carefully reasoned out moves rather than piling everything in for a big attack as soon as the game begins. You're not a big risk-taker. As far as you're concerned laying everything on the line to take a chance is a sign of weakness. There's no need to risk jeopardising everything when you have everything under control. We say: When it comes to thinking things out before a game and thinking on your feet during it, nobody does it better. It's impressive how you spend your time working on improving your game, studying strategy articles and thinking things through. Developing your person-watching skills will make you even better. You'll get advance warning about what your opponent's going to do by noticing his reactions to what he draws. Some people will pull some pretty smart tricks - chatting to you before the game to lull you into a false sense of security, talking to you during the game to get you where they want you. People like you who focus purely on the game are being genuine when they do this, but others may not be... Be ready for when you play against people like this - nobody can read you like a book, but Supercomputers run the risk of getting hacked.