Confessions of a Republican

This is a real ad LBJ ran against Barry Goldberg in 1964. Does this remind you of anyone today?

House Rules Question

How do the wishes work in our house rules? If I am playing a deck with 4 Hedron Alignment, should I be allowed to search up another Hedron Alignment from outside the deck with Golden Wish? California Pedophile Skateboarding enthusiasts want to know.

Great Moments in Akwardness

RIP Minestroni

Real Talk

So, these days, because of this new internet thing, we all now have the power to make people say anything we want them to. For example:

So, I know Tommy has been doing a lot of bragging lately about how you need to get gold instead of experience from chests in heroes 3, how he got second place in the 1993 double dutch Cuban jump roping semifinals, and that he is the healthiest presidential candidate ever. Here is a real quote that Tommy actually said that should help clarify the situation:

An Exemplar Example of a Best Man's Wedding Toast

William, as the best man at my upcoming wedding, I thought you might be looking for an example of the kind of wedding toast I am looking for. This clip illustrates a wedding toast where everything is done perfectly, even a temperature of one's own choosing:

https://youtu.be/9tO2zVCvN10?t=22m9s

Meowy Christmas

https://www.facebook.com/thegrumpycatt/videos/1026768280708428/

Christmas Plans

Right now our Christmas plans involve visiting my parents from the 19th to the 2nd or 3rd. Unfortunately, since we're planning on traveling with a kitty we can't really swing by chez Waalkes. However, as you may or may not know, we just got a car recently and I was planning on trying to come down for a visit for a long weekend some time in January. It will mainly depend on Veronica's work schedule. Certainly, if possible I think it would be nice to meet Liz before the wedding, but we'll have to see how the schedules work out. If Tommy is going back on the 8th, we may not be able to catch him before he's gone. If you have any weekends that won't work, let us know.

In other Christmas news, if you all aren't tired of them as gifts, Veronica and I will make you more ancient commanders. I can bring them with me when I come to visit in January. So, I'm officially taking requests on language/material and commanders. I've been learning Sumerian this semester, so we can add that to the list: Sumerian, Akkadian (Old Babylonian or Neo-Assyrian), Ugaritic, Hebrew, Aramaic, Middle Egyptian. Sumerian, Akkadian, and Ugaritic would be on clay per usual. I could do Aramaic, Hebrew, and Middle Egyptian on papyrus or potsherds. Let me know what you'd like.

Orange Juice

60 Minutes Fan Fiction: Part 2

"End of the line!"

The shout of the bus driver startled Andy out of his sleep. He was dreaming of his last newscast and about whether he had thoroughly explained his confusion with why Lady Ga-Gah's poodle didn't have to abstain from meat on Passover. The sun had fallen on this horribly aggravating day. Andy got off and sat on the bus stop bench. He then promptly fell asleep.

The next morning, Andy awoke to bus brakes squeaking. "If I had my 'druthers the New York Public Transit System would fix the wheels on every bus in the city and have them ship Florida oranges up North from Orlando. Then cold and flu season would be a thing of the past." Thought Andy as he boarded the bus.

Determined to stay awake, Andy remained in a standing position behind the driver. "You know you shouldn't have taken a left on 5th Street back there."

"I don't design the routes. The city does. If you have a complaint, write your local representative." The bus driver did not sound enthused to be saying this.

"Well, if you had taken a right on 6th, we'd be here two and a half minutes ago. I am sorry but you sir, drive like an animal!"

The bus came to a squeaking halt. Andy was not so politely asked to leave the bus. "Well that just fries my pickle. After I've confronted Rather, I think I will write my representative!" Andy self-exclaimed as he waddled down the crowded Queens-borough street.

TO BE CONTINUED...

You Suck At Cooking

Revenge of the Losers EDH Deck

Inspired by Justin's recent foray into shitty Legends commanders, I have decide to build a Torsten Von Ursus EDH Deck.

So, since this guy is probably one of the worst commanders of all time in terms of power level, I was at first not sure what to do. Then I started thinking about what I love about this art. This guy is carrying a comedically large shield, wearing a checkerboard-kilt, has crazy giant wings on his helmet, gardening knee pads, and a child molester mustache. What the hell is going on with this guy? He looks like a toddler that dressed himself for the first time. How does he not get laughed off the battlefield by all the angry, mean goblins? Well, all of brought me to the simple fact that I should build a loser-themed EDH deck. So the context of this deck is that it should feature only art that has people or creatures that were made fun of when they went to (Tolarian) High School. They might be awkwardly dressed, creepy, nonathletic, nerdy, way too obsessed with one hobby, off their meds, mocked for being gay, way too much of a spaz to have any friends, or so in to playing their musical instrument that they practice on Friday nights, whatever, as long as they have reason that the preps and the jocks would mock them.

One of the beautiful things about making this deck so far is that I am coming up with an elaborate and often humorous backstory for many of the people/creatures in the art about what their time in high school was like. For example Vigilant Sentry took his job as hall monitor way too seriously and always sucked up to the assistant principal. Lord Magnus spent way too much time walking alone in the woods and smoking pot until one day he got lost and never returned home. Thelonite Druid took his senior pictures in full medieval gear while pretending he could talk to trees.

I have started looking for a number of good cards for this deck and it seems like older sets are a gold mine, since a lot of the art was goofier or worse back then and way fewer of the creatures just look like badasses. The cards I have so far are below, but I need your help. I am having trouble finding a lot more to fill out the rest of the deck and could use any ideas or suggestions you guys have. All the cards don't necessarily have to be creatures, but they should feature some kind of loser character in the art somehow (like Archery Training where the guy clearly took archery as his elective so he could avoid all the jocks pulling down his shorts in weight training). Hit me up with any suggestions you have. Also, I am considering making a jocks deck next, but I'm not sure what commander that deck should have, so let me know if you have any suggestions for that.

Here is a deckbox link to see the pictures (although some would be from an older set than what is pictured):
https://deckbox.org/sets/1218223?v=v

Here is the decklist so far:
Torsten Von Ursus
Beloved Chaplain
Archery Training
Martyr's Cause
Ardent Militia
Squire
Pyknite
Juniper Order Druid
Thelonite Druid
Titania's Chosen
Volunteer Reserves
Deranged Outcast
Shieldmage Advocate
Border Patrol
Revered Elder
Tonic Peddler
Devoted Hero
Deepwood Drummer
Nightshade Peddler
Vigilant Sentry
Charm Peddler
Crossbow Infantry
Devout Harpist
Tragic Poet
Cartographer
Abbey Matron
Daughter of Autumn
Samnite Alchemist
Serra Inquisitors
Lord Magnus
Ivory Guardians
Scavenger Folk