Another Card from the Tizzle Collection

Crazy Gnome

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sQ4N6L99yY

Tizzle, Rough Rider For Jesus

Top 10 Prettiest Ponies

Welcome to this year's top ten list: The Top Ten Prettiest Ponies!!

Each pony is presented without explanation, since its individual prettiness has been well documented in other places and should be entirely self evident. If you are unable to recognize the indisputable prettiness of any of these ponies, then you are severely lacking in the friendship department and should immediately seek the help of a motivational speaker who can help you understand the true magic of friendship.

10

9

8

7

6

5 

4

3

 2

1

Coming Soon!

Tobacco Is Wacko If You're A Teen

Important Semi-Official Blog Announcement:

THIS BLOG DOES NOT IN ANYWAY WHATSOEVER ENDORSE SMOKING.  SMOKING IS EVIL AND SOME RECENT STUDIES SUGGEST THAT IT MAY CAUSE HAPPINESS COUGHING. IF YOU SMOKE YOU WILL NOT GET INTO HEAVEN.  SMOKING IS THE REASON MOST PEOPLE CANNOT PERFORM AWESOME TASKS SUCH AS FLYING AND SLAM DUNKING LIKE SHAQ.  STALIN, HITLER, AND GODZILLA ALL SMOKED AND LOOK AT THEM NOW.  DEAD.  AGAIN, DESPITE WHAT YOU MAY HAVE BEEN LED TO BELIEVE THIS BLOG DOES NOT IN ANY CONCEIVABLE WAY WHATSOEVER ENDORSE SMOKING.

Obama Comics the Movie

I've been thinking about doing a kickerstarter to finance Obama comics the Movie. Thoughts? Concerns? Will this be ego-driven project that only I will find funny? Yes. Is this a clever way to get some beer money. Yes.

Here's how this will work:
I sit down and learn animation at the most rudimentary possible level and then imbibe fine alcohol until I am drunk. After these actions I will procede to make a movie about all the evil shit Obama does and voice act everything. I will probably have to finish it once I sober up, but I feel I can make a dynomite product.

I heard Joe C liked Reba

Hey guys, I'm busy running a burger empire and working on grad school applications, but I wanted to make a quick post about how Joey loves the musical styling of Reba, so much that he likes her on Facebook. He also likes Ashley Tisdale, JB, MJ, and holy fuck this is why I hate going into the music section with people. Every 2 fucking sections I hear, "Ho man Tommy, I bet you like Katy Perry HAR HAR HAR." The joke is that I obviously don't, but it gets made a minimum of 12.5 times before we get through the cd section. Don't even get me started about the barbie isle at Toys R' Us.

I Should Probably Do Something Constructive... Oops SKYRIM!

As you all may have heard I'm really getting into Vinyl Records now.  I'm trying to build a respectable collection of records to add to our already schweet 60's - 70's era collection.  I currently only have Arcade Fire's Funeral for new stuff but I'm trying to get a couple new albums.  Below is my list of possibles.  I'm getting 2 albums.  My taste in music varies over time but vinyl is forever so I need to pick a couple solid items.  Wanted to see what you guys would pick because I can't narrow it down.  If there's any awesome possibilities I'm forgetting feel free to let me know.  List:

Sun Kil Moon - Ghosts of the Great Highway
Spoon - Girls Can Tell
Frightened Rabbit - Midnight Organ Fight
Broken Social Scene - You forgot in people
Blink 182 - Blink 182
Archers of Loaf - White Trash Heroes
Foo Fighters - The Color And The Shape
Bon Iver - For Emma
Nirvana - Nevermind
U2 - Joshua Tree
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Californication

Also the kitty keeps taking the one ring off the monkey puppet's hand and walking around with it in his mouth.  Is this why he's so fucking crazy?

Christmas Commander Time

I think it's time to start thinking about Christmas Commanders. If you are still interested, I would turn a commander of your choice into an ancient version. To recap, the first ones I did were in Ugaritic, and the second group were Akkadian (in Old Babylonian script). I can do Akkadian in Neo-Assyrian script in clay or Middle Egyptian on papyrus, archaic Hebrew, Phoenician, or Old Aramaic on clay or potsherds. You are welcome to choose whatever you'd like, although for Egyptian or Akkadian, commanders with less text would be better. Also, I was thinking that if someone wanted a Theros commander, perhaps master Thomas could translate it into Greek/Latin and then Veronica could do the art (maybe based on some period relevant art provided by T-wizzle). I know wizards has done promo cards in Latin and Greek, so that would be a good starting place to see how they dealt with some of the technical terms. So sound off in the comments with what you'd like.

Point-Counter Point: I want my Fucking Nuggets

Point:
 Dear Mac Donalds of Toledo,
So I kind came to this MackyD's for breakfast wanting some nuggets. Much to my chagrin, they currently unavailable. I think that not serving chicken nuggets at 6am is terrible business practice. Moreover, it's a crime against humanity. I didn't train for years under master Roshi honing my technique, carefully building my chi powers, and pushing the limits of my mind and body to be denied my fried chicken breast meat nuggets. I would like to formally petition MacDonald's HQ to alter their erroneous ways. Because  at the end of the day, I'm a hard working gal who just wants some chicken titty meat.
-Sincerely
Melodi Dushane







Counter-point:
Bitch what the hell are you talking about? This is god damn mac donalds not a motherfucking french deli. Lower your damn expectations. You ain't no super sayian. You probably couldn't handle that punk-bitch Radtiz. Calm down. There's a chicken sandwhich that's basically a chicken nugget in an egg mcmuffin. Sit the fuck down and order that. Aw hell no. Did you just bust the window? Woman, your power level so high. I guess we have no choice but to make you chicken nuggets. Not. You can't even Kamhehameha. How do you expect to take on Frieza?
Sincerly,
Fuck you.

Christianity is Stupid

This song not only summarizies my entire worldview in a succinct and direct manner, but also could be an excellent SPD cover . . .

America

We don't have no plastic L.A. Frynds,
ain't on the edge of no popular trend.
Ain't never seen the inside of that magazine GQ.
We don't care if you 're a lawyer, or a texas oil man,
or some waitress busting ass in some liquor stand.
If you got Soul
We hang out with people just like you

My hair's turning white,
my neck's always been red,
my collar's still blue,
we've always been here
just trying to sing the truth to you.
Yes you could say
we've always been,
Red, White, and Blue

Ride our own bikes To Sturgis
we pay our own dues,
smoking camels, drinking domestic BREWS
You want to know where I have been
just look at my hands
Yeah, I've driven by the White House,
Spent some time in jail.
Momma cried but she still wouldn't pay my bail.
I ain't been no angel,
But even God, he understands.

My hair's turning white,
my neck's always been red,
my collar's still blue,
we've always been here
just trying to sing the truth to you.
Yes you could say
we've always been,
Red, White, and Blue

Yeah that's right!

My Daddy worked hard, and so have I,
paid our taxes and gave our lives
to serve this great country
so what are they complaining about

Yeah we love our families, we love our kids
you know it is love that makes us all so rich
That's where were at,
If they don't like it they can just
get the HELL out!

Yeah!

My hair's turning white,
my neck's always been red,
my collar's still blue,
we've always been here
just trying to sing the truth to you.
Yes you could say
we've always been,
Red, White, and Blue

oh..oh..Red, White, and Blue....

Red, White, and Blue

oh..oh....Red, White, and Blue

Just Watch the opening part as the camera angle shifts up and down, and Glen Beck blathers aimlessly. I feel as if Beck is trying to hypnotize his audience into thinking using the N-Word is okay.
http://youtu.be/cPEvbc2yJHw

Top 10 Dragon's Maze Cards for Commander, Part 2

5. Sire of Insanity

Sire of Insanity will steal your lunch money and then use it to buy pornography and sneak the pornography in your locker and tip off the principal so you will get suspended and your mom will take away your Playstation. He is a jerk with the Midas touch and he does not fuck around. There is not waiting until he dies or until your next upkeep. No, he makes everyone lose their hand immediately while leaving his beefy body around to bully all the utility creatures on the board. Sire really punishes slower decks and if you are able to accelerate him out early could be quite devastation at bringing the game to a standstill while everyone is in top deck mode. Granted if people are playing graveyard recursion you might end up helping them more than hurting them, but you can always play graveyard recursion yourself or be packing a fair amount of graveyard hate. He is powerful and in the right situation can net you a huge amount of card advantage, but expect for your opponents to be unhappy if you play with him.

4. Master of Cruelties

If Sire of Insanity is the school's worst bully, then Master of Cruelties is the kid that he is afraid of. Master of Cruelities is that kid that is lighting matches in the hallway and always talking about how he loves the smell of fire. He has never shared in his life, not even in Kindergarten, he has no concern for the well-being or feelings of others and his sole motivation in life is causing destruction. You have no doubts in your mind that he will end up in prison before the age of 18. Voracious Cobra is already quite a potent card in EDH at scaring away opposing attackers or getting in for damage  and this is a powerful upgrade for only one mana more. Except for a small subset of creatures like other first strikers or indestructible creatures, Master of Cruelties will be able to kill anything in combat and survive, yet it is essential for your opponents to throw their creatures away and block because they will often be taking 20+ damage from one hit from this guy. Being at 1 in a multiplayer game is one of the worst strategic positions you can be in since it makes you so vulnerable and forces you to play defensively to keep yourself alive. And lord have mercy if you equip a whispersilk cloak to him. Despite being a jerk of the highest magnitude and putting a huge target on your head, Master of Cruelties is insanely powerful and probably worth the risk.

3. Teysa, Envoy of Ghosts

Full disclosure: I have built a Teysa deck that was inspired by my Zuberica deck and although it a bit of a good stuff deck and still needs some work, I'm already quite happy with its power level and fun factor. Although since seven mana is a steep price to pay for a general, Teysa might be better as an inclusion in your 99 cards than as your commander, but I think she still has a lot of potential as a general. Also, despite having the built in protection from creatures which is an awesome ability to have on a commander, it is unfortunate to have Teysa killed by a wrath or spot removal right after you play her and then have to get up to 9 mana to recast her in colors that don't have much ramp. However, if Teysa does stick around she is amazing at stabilizing your board and discouraging people from attacking you. She can already block about any ground creature and live but also kills any creatures that do get through to you. Who will want to attack into Teysa and lose all their creatures unless they can kill you that turn? Meanwhile since your defenses are built up you can still be attacking with unblocked Teysa each turn and she wears equipment quite well. It is a rare card that can play defense so well, while also being a solid contributor on offense.

2. Pontiff of Blight

Extort is quite powerful in multiplayer and this is most powerful extort card from multiplayer that Wizards printed. Given a decent number of creatures on the board, this makes every spell you play have an exsanguinate kicker. All this damage and lifegain will add up quickly and allow you to play defense with all of your creatures while draining everyone out turn after turn. This guy might seem unassuming, but, in most cases, is one of those creatures you have to kill right after it hits the board if you don't want that player to run away with the game.

1. Debt to the Deathless

Exsanuinate 2.0. Yes, please. Sure it is much slower and more mana intensive, but once you hit seven mana this is simply better for the price than exsanuinate and the upside just gets better and better from there. From the fact that it plays so well with extort and that it simultaneously helps you kill your opponents while gaining you so much life, I expect this card to see a lot of play as a finisher in grindy, long-game decks.

Honorable Mentions: 
Trostani's Summoner
Savageborn Hydra
Obzedat's Aid
Ready/Willing
Wear/Tear

Top 10 Dragon's Maze Cards for Commander

Now new and improved with (hopefully) 100% fewer silly mistakes, my top ten commander list is back with Dragon's Maze to make your day 110% more exciting.

10. Zhur-Taa Ancient

While he does come with his risks, Zhur-Taa Ancient is a sizeable body for only 5 mana. Seven power is nothing to sneeze at, allowing him to command some decent board presence. However, the real reason this old guy with the huge neck makes it on the list is his mana doubling ability. At first glance, doubling everyone's mana at the table might seem like it is putting you at a massive disadvantage since all of your opponents get access to double the mana before you do. Yet, they will not necessarily be using all of that mana to go after you, especially if there is someone more powerful at the table and in the right position it can be an excellent way to boost certain players at the table to accelerate their board presence or pull off a massive fireball to catch up with a player who is running away with the game. Also, since he is only 5 mana, later in the game, you could easily be able to play him and some other meaningful spells within the same turn. In fact, if you build your deck correctly, you should be able to take advantage of his effect better than anyone else at the table because you are playing mana ramp and/or awesome X spells like genesis wave. His biggest downside that stops him from being higher on the list is the Hunted Wumpus effect (where someone just drops a nekrataal to kill it when his enter the battlefield ability triggers) since one of your opponents could  play some huge creature and then have mana left over to throw a STP at the ancient.

9. Ruric Thar, the Unbowed

At number 9, Gruul slams in there with another explosively game-changing, if awkward beater in Ruric Thar. Ruric has a potent combination of abilities with vigilance, reach and most importantly dealing 6 damage to a player whenever they cast a noncreature spell. The last ability will vary greatly in power; it will completely hose some decks and do almost nothing against creature heavy decks. It's hard to believe that any player who will be messed up by this card will not want to kill it as soon as possible taking six damage in the process to avoid much more later. However, it is a great way to give an aggressive deck more reach, since it punishes your enemies for clearing the board or countering your kill spells to stay alive and they are in real trouble if they are at 6 or less life. Yet, despite its aggressive pedigree, it still serves as an excellent blocker, killing or trading with all but the most massive fliers in commander. His biggest downside is the fact that he has to attack every turn. Sure, the vigilance helps mitigate some of this downside, but the truth is that sometimes the board will be so clogged where anyone he attacks will kill him and that is just terrible to lose an impressive creature for no reason. I guess Wizards wanted to emphasize the recklessness of Gruul this time around with these two.

8. Progenitor Mimic

Like all clone effects, Progenitor Mimic takes a big hit in commander from the new legendary rules changes. Not being able to take out any commander despite hexproof or other shenanigans, makes clones much less flexible. However, repeatedly copying the best nonlegendary creature (even if it has hexproof on the board is an ability that can carry the game away post haste. Imagine the mimic copying Terrastodon or Simic Sky Swallower every turn. The mimics biggest downside is it needs time to start working. If somebody wraths or if you are under a lot of pressure, it is not the best creature to be playing, but in games where you can get him to stick around for multiple turns in a row gaining you massive board presence or card advantage in the process, there are few better creatures.

7. Melek, Izzet Paragon

Melek is a fun, build-around general unlike any of the other Izzet generals in that he isn't overpowered and annoying like Jhoira of the Ghitu, screaming for infinite combos like Niv-Mizzet, the Firemind or absurdly underpowered like Tibor and Lumia. Playing with all the most powerful instants and sorceries and finally having a general that supports those cool instant/sorcery cards like Sphinx-Bone Wand seems like a blast and a deck that would play differently that your average commander deck. Melek is one of those rare cards that feels like he hits a home run for both Timmy and Johnny and I'd expect to see a lot of him at kitchen tables for years to come.

6. Tajic, Blade of the Legion

From the piddliest of 0/1 to overcosted 3/3s, any creature that has indestructability has to be on your radar for commander playability. Darksteel Gargoyle is a French vanilla creature that costs 3 more mana than he would without indestructability but he is still a servicable addition to commander decks. So when I saw a legendary indestructable rare with an explosive ability in the same vein as Konda but much cheaper, I wet pants a little bit. Sure if you are unable to get batallion to trigger he is little better than the likes of Darksteel Gargoyle (although any general that is hard to kill deserves consideration in voltron strategies), but unblocked his batallion ability makes him a three turn clock. Cramming your deck full of the best voltron equipment, holy mantle effects and evasive utility creatures and beaters to trigger batallion (hello Soltari Guerillas) will make a fun aggressive deck. Sure, you have to jump through a few hoops to make him as effective as possible, but having built in protection makes your strategy much more resilient to much of the removal played in commander.

Check back soon for the top 5.

Asparagus Kraj

I've been doing some spring cleaning of my commander decks recently.  Editing, making, or taking apart commander decks.  One such deck I feel that I have been neglecting and am considering dismantling is the Kraj deck.  Its a super durdley deck that takes a lot of skill and brain power to operate.  I never play it and its confusing as shit.  The thing is I haven't got the heart to take it apart.  I think its a cool commander and a powerful deck.  For these reasons, I suggest Phil take the deck to edit and play.  Kraj deserves a good home.

Let's look at Kraj and what he does.  First off, he puts 1/1 counters on any creature.  Seems good.  There's a lot of counter stuff going on these days so this card has aged well.  He's good with Persist, evolve, graft, and even spikes.  He makes creatures bigger too so even if those targets have no activated abilities they can still get a little boost.  The activated ability part cannot be overlooked either.  There's tons of stuff you can do with him with your own creatures as well as your opponents'.  Having strong activated abilities on the creatures in your deck is one thing but having everyone else's abilities is an added perk.  Needless to say there's always a lot of possibilities with this deck and every game is different.

Its all the different things Kraj can do that make this deck confusing.  Do I put a counter on something?  Use an activated ability?  Swing?  Its never entirely clear what to do with Kraj.  Put a Pemmin's Aura on him and things just get even crazier.  Kraj is confusing and as the deck has evolved, pun intended, it has just gotten harder to manage.  Much like my old wizard deck this deck has turned into something beyond my understanding and skill level.  I'm more aggro, Kraj is more controlling and requires deep analysis, pun intended.  Who do we know that can fully appreciate a deck like this?

I think this deck is more Phil's speed.  Phil plays Kikki Jikki, a deck which is fairly similar I feel.  Granted this deck is a little different than Kikki but I think Phil can handle it.  Besides I've always had a sneaking suspicion that Phil enjoyed this deck a little more than me as he was always thinking of cards that would be good in it.  So what I'm saying is I'm willing to give you the deck and all the cards in it for you to play and edit.  Otherwise Kraj will probably be taken apart.  Phil, will you accept an Oooze Muntant into your deck box?  Or should I start another petition?

Shandalar Speculation

So I know you have been intrigued by the cycle of rings in M13 that are said to come from the plane of Shandalar along with Onakkee Catacomb from the recent Planechase set . . . 

and the flavor text on Talrand's Invocation. 

Why would Wizards randomly be referencing Shandalar in one of its core sets? Surely Gleemax must have some sort of master plan for which this is a teaser. Why remind us of this plane from a nearly forgotten computer game of the late 90s without some kind of purpose? It isn't as if this world had many defining features or emotional resonance aside from being part of a fun game.

Over the months, my curiosity had faded from hearing all of these references last summer, but then I heard this question from a Q & A panel with R & D at PAX East. While they don't say anything specifically about Shandalar, the vision they have for making magic more accessible to those who aren't connected to other magic players seems like it would be fit perfectly with a remake of the original Microprose Magic the Gathering game from 1997.

Duels of the Planeswalkers is fun, but limited since you cannot do much in the way of deckbuilding, playing other humans, and are to a few cards. It has served it's purpose well of attracting former magic players back into the game by tantalizing them with Sengir Vampires, Serra Angels, and these crazy new planeswalker thingies, but it doesn't approach the level of fun and engagement that Shandalar had, where you are existing in a fleshed out world, free to explore collecting better cards for your deck along the way.

Creating a new Shandalar game would be an excellent way to attract other gamers into Magic who don't have the social network to suck them into the game. Maybe they will even make a paper set in the Shandalar world and then translate all of the cards over into the game world as well. Or they could continue to explore what a few of the cards in the original game did and focus on cards that can do things only possible with a computer. 

As evident by the pathetic AI and huge handicaps required, I'm sure one of the biggest challenges to such a game would be to program a wide variety of cards to work properly under the rules and have the computer understand how to use them properly and strategically. However, Wizards has been able to achieve this on a smaller scale with Duels of the Planeswalkers and who's to say that given the amount of money they could stand to make by expanding their player base as well as interesting most current magic players that they might be throwing a lot of resources into making this happen.

Pawsome!

Name: Undecided
Gender: Unknown
Stats: 18/00 Strength, 19 Agility, 9 Constitution, 5 Intelligence, 4 Wisdom, 24 Charisma
Class: Cat
Schooling: Leesville Rd High School Parking Lot Class of 2013
Interests: Hackie Sack, Eating Kibble, Attacking Shoes, Running Around In Circles For No Apparent Reason
Special Abilities: ADHD, Slash Attack, Bite Attack
Favorite Movie: Life of Pi

TŠIF - Thank Šamaš it's Friday

Here are some thoughts/experiences, which I've recently had:

Yesterday, while walking home Veronica and I passed a woman yelling into her phone, "When you die it's not all unicorns and rainbows..." Her volume was set to 11.

We should start a band that only plays in slow motion, at least in our rocking music videos.

I want to make a Minecraft scale model of the city of Ugarit, although maybe something like Carchemish or maybe a Neo-Assyrian palace. Whose up to join me in what will inevitably be hours and hours of hard, thankless labor for no real good reason?

By the way, new banner…now I'm hungry.

Here's something I was reading for my Akkadian class. It is a liver omen. So if you kill a sheep and look at it's liver and see the following, you'll know what to do.

BE IGI.BAR ki-ma BAD-ma u3 ši-lum i-na ŠA3-ša na-di aš-ša-at LU2 i-ni-a-ak-ma mu-sa3 i-ṣa-ba-as-si2-i-ma i-da-ak-ši
If the naplastum-mark is like the BAD sign and a perforation is situated at its heart, the wife of a man will have illicit intercourse and her husband will seize her and he will kill her.
By the way the BAD sign is the Sumerian name for the sign and represents the Sumerian pronunciation of the logogram, but it doesn't have any connection to the english word "bad."

Revisiting My Fearless Magic Predictions

Back three years ago, I made a series of magic-related predictions. Now let's check back in to see how many of them I correctly predicted to see if I am secretly Nostradamus in disguise (also you guys promised me a bucket of fried chicken if I got at least 4 correct).

1. Swords to Plowshares will be reprinted in the next three years. - INCORRECT
So it seems that Wizards feels that Path to Exile is about the high water mark of power for this level of effect. Maybe they have concerns about this and Path coexisting in modern or maybe they feel it would be too dominating in standard. I want to say I heard Mark Rosewater talk about the flavor of STP causing a creature to starting farming was out of the context of how wizards designed the way that white flavor-fully deals with creatures.

2. Control Magic will be reprinted in the next three years. - INCORRECT
This one I'm now pretty sure is not going to happen. Control Magic has a completely realistic power level for standard and is such a great simple cards with lots of complexity under the surface. However, someone at Wizards has stated that creature stealing effects without a downside are simply too powerful to show up at uncommon for drafting purposes. The control magic variants they have done in the last three years have all been significantly less powerful and Soul's Ransom might set a precident that the effect will be moved to higher rarities. If this is the case, Control Magic doesn't feel rare and would probably just disappoint many people if it was printed as a rare.

3. Stone Rain will not be reprinted within the next three years. - CORRECT
This one seems pretty obvious looking back now. Wizards has been trying to encourage new players to get hooked on magic by trying to create a better experience for more inexperienced players. Mechanics like discard, counterspells and land destruction all lead to players having few choices and less ability to interact with their opponents. What makes magic fun for most players are these complicated decisions and the interactions between cards. Stone rain, especially with the existence of mana dorks, is simply too powerful and inspires too many people to rage quit for it to be coming back any time soon.

4. Scars of Mirrodin will have little in common with Mirrodin Block. - CORRECT
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this one is correct, although I didn't really define it very well to begin with. Scars was much more about the Phyrexians and their infect ability than anything else. Sure the metalcraft and imprint mechanics had some powerful and interesting cards, but the block had no overpowered artifact synergies like affinity and ended up being more tangentially about artifacts as compared to the original Mirrodin block. Since Wizards starting using the story to drive the flavor of their sets more starting with this block, so flavorfully this block returned to a lot of the same elements in the first block to check in with how they had changed, the more nuanced answer might be that mechanically this statement is true but flavorfully this statement is false.

5. Dan will start playing magic again in the next three years. - INCORRECT
Dan, much like the legendary sasquash, has only been heard of through the eyewitness reports of those who think they might have seen him in the Food Lion parking lot or possibly driving past, but nothing has been confirmed. No one can really be certain what this giggly beast is up too, but one thing is for certain, he is probably high right now.

My You Make the Card Submission

"Zombie Outbreak"

Black Enchantment

Zombies you control have deathtouch.

Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies from damage dealt by a zombie you control, you may put that creature onto the battlefield under your control. It is a black zombie in addition to its other creature types.

Star Wars Episode VII

Brule's Rules

You (and by you I mean my fellow authors of this blog, celebrities, everyone who has ever looked at a webpage on the internet, the chickens pictured below, myself and especially Jared from the Subway commercials who is not a celebrity) are fat!!!! You need to loose some weight. You need to go on a diet. Here are some tips for you if you can spare a few seconds of shoving Doritos into your mouth with your fat sausage fingers to be able to wipe off the dust and click your mouse.

Also, you need to get some exercise fat-ass!!!! Might I suggest Estonia Werewolf Wrestling . . .



For your health!!!!!

I'm Thinking of Opening a KFC Pt. 2

The recession is upon us.  The farm was hit by hard times.  Thanks Obama!  It was especially hard to let the delicious chickens go.  I remember it like it was just yesterday that my inventory would immediately fill up with eggs when I walked in the chicken coop.  I would then have to machine gun throw the eggs against the wall and a baby chicken would hatch 1/8th of the time.  There's so much pixelated beauty in the world.

I'm Thinking of Opening a KFC

I have been farming in Minecraft.  Wheat, Cows, Sheep, and Chickens.  I tried pigs but couldn't find any carrots...  Its time to move on though.  Stay tuned for when I post the images of me letting out the animals!